Very very tall daughter

[BadAtTecnology35]

My DD12 (13 next month) is now over 6'5 and almost 6'6. How do I help her with this?
I am 6'2 and DH is 6'4 but she's just that bit taller. DS who's 11 is only 5'4 for comparison.

Everyone always mentions it everywhere she goes and that's before they realise her age cause she looks older. Teachers, friends, everyone.

She's quite slim build and has size 14 feet (i know). She used to not mind her height but now she's getting to be the tallest boy or girl in her whole school, I'm hearing more comments about how she hates it.

Will she grow much more? How can I help her build confidence up?

Want to clarify, we've been doctors and no hormone issue/ disease

Also thought of athletics or modelling! Being tall is so elegant I think. Hard for her though especially this age.. try and keep her confidence up. Xx

Tell her to marry someone much smaller!

I'm 5'4" and DH is 6'6" . DS1 is 6'7" and DS2 6'4" , DD is 5'8" but still growing and her size 9 shoes are big enough. They are immense - no-one fits into anything normal sized and we have to take extra stuff on holiday every time we go as we just can't buy clothes and shoes when we get there for anyone else but me.

We did have lots of requests for photos in Japan

I'm not saying it's impossible that there's no medical cause but I'd say that statistically it's quite unlikely. She's taller than dad and generally you'd expect a girl to be somewhere between both parents especially if those parents are already at the extreme end of their heights as there's less likely to be taller genes lurking in the ancestry line IYSWIM. Eg my sister is actually only an inch or so shorter than my dad. However my mum's dad was well over 6 ft tall whereas my dad is about average at about 5 ft 9. It's possible that nothing is wrong but I definitely wouldn't just want to shrug it off is what I'm saying.

I was very tall, the tallest in the school when I was 13 or so and my 9yr old daughter is going the same way.

I’d massively advocate a sport that tall people naturally excel in. I played netball at school but it wasn’t until I started rowing when I was about 24/5 that I really felt like I’d found my tribe. The difference for me was huge and after that I found my confidence.

Marfans is virtually never diagnosed until late teens or adulthood as there are initially no health problems & the only abnormality being height.

OP definitely needs to push for answers & get a second opinion. Genetic testing can only be done by a specialist - it's likely the 'normal' results from the GP are for growth hormones. That wouldn't show Marfans .

It's important that she's careful with sports while OP gets the Marfan test done as heart problems including sudden cardiac arrest during exercise & joint & connective tissue problems are common in Marfans.

I have an uncle with Marfans who lives a normal life - chose not to have children but otherwise healthy.

The other uncle had serious heart problems & Marfans was only discovered when he was already seriously unwell.

Some of the posts here are getting quite ridiculous.

Minimising what is likely to be a medical issue and suggesting sports and modelling.

@BadAtTecnology35 Ask for a referral eg- Great Ormond Street maybe where there are experts. .If necessary, pay for a private consultation- use the web to find a UK expert consultant.

That height is not normal for a 12 year old who has not stopped growing.

I used one of those calculators to get the predicted height of 6’3. She’s three inches taller than the predicted height. It’s not extreme in the context of her parents’ height.

Jessica Pardoe - I think that’s how you spell her name. She’s 6’9. Britian’s tallest woman. Her dad is 6’7 and her mum is 6’. No endocrine conditions. Just a very tall/healthy (and gorgeous) woman.

re your earlier post - yes, I take your point, tall people do suffer more than most with back and joint problems. But so do shorter folks as weight management can be a challenge. Same goes for heart issues. Some people of average height just have bad joints… what are you gonna do? 🤷🏻‍♀️

The joint problems & heart problems in Marfans syndrome are not caused by the height. It's more serious than that. The same genes that cause excessive height also cause excessive growth in connective tissues so the joints & heart are also faulty.

I really hope OP pushes for a genetic test even to just rule it out

Get her to look at zannavandijk on insta, she's about 6"2 and very pro living life in an amazing way but also has content on height life.

I'm 6"1 but stocky and my bro is 6"5 so that is very tall and I get how she can have days of not liking it

I was also going to suggest rowing.

I have been to Henley regatta and can confirm that the vast majority of competitors were tall.

Exactly. 'Hey just be a model, being tall is so glamourous and elegant!' and 'just be a basketball player!' I mean for goodness sake! As you say, there is clearly a health issue here. Being nearly 6 ft 6 at the age of 13, and still continuing to grow is very worrying. All the casual 'hey she can be a model' posts are cringeworthy! Especially (as I said earlier,) NO model agency is going to employ any woman who is 6 ft 6 - or taller. Literally no-one will be employing the OP's daughter as a model.

Former international swimmer here - have you tried her in the pool? There is an optimum body composition for our sport and your daughter pretty much nails that. Google Missy Franklin if you’ve not heard of her. Think she’s 6’2” and size 13 feet with 5 Olympic golds! Tall is not always a bad thing.

I’m 6.3 and have been since I was about 14 years old. It can be really tough always being the tallest in the room / school etc.

I found playing sports really helped me to see how being tall was an advantage and the benefits to it, but might not be for everyone.

all I can say is that it was really helpful to have open communication with my parents. My mum is taller than me (so is my dad) and she knew how it felt growing up. She (obviously) couldn’t make anything change but it was good to be able to talk / vent / moan etc to someone who would just listen without judging.

also worth making sure she’s taking the right vitamins etc as growing pains (to me they were really bad) can be tough

the other thing is a few fb / insta sites like tallternative etc where people have advice on where to get big shoes / long clothes

Good grief, I give up!

If you’re referring to my comment, the OP asked,
“Will she grow much more? How can I help her build confidence up?
Want to clarify, we've been doctors and no hormone issue/ disease.”

So I’ve (along with other posters) given her an example of how she could build her confidence up in a sport I participated in for years at the highest level you can get to. Yet you’ve pulled a face (probably quite literally) and said, “…there is clearly a health issue here,” despite the OP clearly stating otherwise.

😂

Yeah. The average height for women is what, 5'3" or something? And I've seen women who are like 5'7"-5'9" refer to themselves as tall.

6'0" is already 99-100th percentile height for a woman. When you see "super tall women" you are probably thinking of that (and keep in mind models might be 5'11" or 6'1" or something and wearing 3-4in heels).

I think a lot of people just think "ah 6' that's what models are, how elegant!"

(This is irrelevant to OP's daughter's worth as a person, confidence and happiness levels etc - hope it goes without saying!)

If it's not that unusual, isn't it interesting that no one here is the height (or taller) than the OP's daughter. Even the tallest women here, or those that have a friend/relative who are tall, are still a few inches off her (not fully grown!) height. It's almost unheard of, especially if no medical cause. Which is why it's essential that the medical tests are checked, especially Marfan's.

I don't think people are grasping just how tall she is, in terms of statistics. A man at the same percentile as her would be 7 foot 5. This isn't just tall, and it's unlikely to be just tall genes.

Sorry OP, I haven’t read the full thread, but in case nobody else has suggested it; my sport recommendation would be rowing. She’ll find there’s lots of tall people there, inc. girls, as height is an advantage, and as a PP said, it is nice to feel like you fit in! If she does fancy it, check her wingspan (horizontal finger tip to finger tip with arms outstretched); apparently you’re at an extra advantage for rowing if that’s longer than your height and it’s something coaches and clubs look for - you might even have a future Olympian on your hands as unlike lots of sports, it seems you can still do very well even if you start rowing ‘late’.

(DH was a v good rower in his time - 6’5” and crazy long arms).

Hope you find a way to help her feel proud of her height!

(edited for grammar)

Have a look at some of the fabulous swimmers on instagram- Freya Anderson is 6' 3", or look at
https://swimswam.com/the-tallest-female-olympic-swimming-medalists/

Freya has spoken about being taller than her peers when she was younger but has, can I say, grown into her height in her 20s. She's young, talented, successful and fun- with fabulous hair ...Her height is not her identity.

Exactly this. Can't get it through to some though, that's why I said I give up!

@ServusFidelis that swimmer (Cate Campbell) is 6 foot 1. And an adult. The OP's daughter is 6 foot 6! (And 13 years old.) Being 6 ft 6 at 13 years old (and still growing!) is COMPLETELY different.

Michelle Obama is like 5’11”. This girl is nearly 7 inches taller. It’s not comparable in the slightest. This and “just be a model” “move to the Netherlands” and “get a basketball scholarship to the US” just show how delusional some people are. If I was the OP I’d be getting every medical opinion going and push for a specialist in genetic disorders because this poor girl will not have an easy life and if there is anything to halt her growth and stop it getting even more extreme, I’d be hunting that down and I would have done quite a few inches ago.

All of the inspirational very tall women being posted on this thread are shorter than the OP’s daughter, who is 12 and hasn’t stopped growing. I’m actually starting to doubt the veracity of this thread to be honest, as I think a 6ft 6 12 year old would have been featured in the media (or the Guinness Book of Records) by now.

Keep going with the netball OP. It is a sport which will embrace her height and celebrate it.

She will be able to get that good - she can basically pop a ball in the net as she's not far from head height. My DD is a netballer. She's flipping awesome but she's small. No matter how good she gets, she will always be competing against thousands of other small girls. She could be the best player in the world but at well over a foot smaller than your dd, she'll always struggle to take a ball from her. Put your DD in a room full of elite netballers and she won't even feel that tall anymore.

Your dd has an attribute that is coveted in the sporting world. I hope that she can use that to develop her confidence in herself.

But that wasn’t what the OP was asking. She asked about building her daughter’s confidence and stated that she’s been to the doctors and is clear or a hormone issue/disease.

We’ve given her lots of constructive ideas, with our own experience as to how she could build her confidence in various sports.

You, OTOH, keep going on and on about something that hasn’t been asked as it has already been boxed off. Then saying you’re “giving up” because no one is listening to you, only to keep coming back.