Parental order for donor embryo

[KazBuck]

Ok I was wondering if anyone can give me advice. I was thinking to use a surrogate with a donor embryo but when looking at getting a parental order the child must be biologically related to the intended parents… Surely there must be a way around this ? I know I should speak to a solicitor and I’m waiting on a call just wondered if anyone has any experience with this topic x

Oh my days your response is proof of your complete naivety of the process …, if you gave nothing positive to say Say nothing !!!

I sometimes comment on surrogacy threads when they pop up in most active, I don't seek them out, but I'm not going to keep quiet to avoid hurting the feelings of someone who is doing something heinous.

Plus where do you get “Buy” from !!!

The most sensible reply here so far x

As it should be. Raising a child that isn't your genetic offspring is a complicated endeavour. Why do you think you should be able to circumnavigate that? Would your health issues preclude you from adopting?

i bet you do.

For her maybe, not the child. And despite fertility issues the child is still suppose to be the most important thing. What if the baby has additional needs? The buyer can just ditch the baby with the surrogate or throw them into the adoption system if they want. The ethical issues are incredibly valid and should be considered by the law and the buyer. And in fairness to the OP I think surrogacy also has a huge amount of obstacles like adoption does, the insecurity knowing it can go wrong, the ethics etc. You are minimising it just like you suggest others are minimising adoption. When both are so difficult it’s clearly worth looking at adopting a baby/child who needs a family rather than ordering a human specifically to be created to be sold into adoption. OP doesn’t have any easy or obvious options sadly.

I'm a social worker. I have a huge amount of experience of the process of meeting the needs of children being raised outside of their birth family.

I'm adopted. My son is adopted.

Isn't this just creating an adoptive child?

I'm not sure deliberately creating a child that is being born at a disadvantage is worth it.

You'd be creating a child that would suffer from the circumstances of their birth.

They pop up in active every time someone posts, it’s not rocket science.

Nobody does this for free

Thank you so much for being so understanding amongst many judgemental and offensive others. As it goes I’m doing ivf myself with a donor embryo but cycle 1 had a missed miscarriage but still have 2 more rounds and my best friend offered to carry a child for me so I was just trying to look at a plan B as it were.

I would do it for free for a family member or close friend. I’m not saying I agree with all aspects of it but I think mumsnet is ott judgemental about surrogacy.

This woman is actually researching and looking for advice and not judgement ….

Excuse me buying and selling would involve money is some way and this has nothing to do with any exchange of money !!!

Just because in theory we can, does mot practically mean we should.

A little perspective: not entirely the same situation, but close enough to matter. I never knew my father. It created a gaping hole in my sense of identity. An old boyfriend was adopted and he felt the same x 1000.

Adoption is there to give children a loving home who'd otherwise not have one. And yes it is fraught with problems and children, even ones adopted as babies, do struggle with their identity.

Creating a designer baby to order, and then expecting that baby to grow up without any connection to its parents, and especially its mother, is inflicting this kind of psychological pain on an unwilling child who has no choice in the matter, and it is doing so whilst completely disregarding the effect that will have on the most important person in this equation: the child.

The desire to have a baby is overwhelming, I get that, but adoption and surrogacy both come at huge cost. It's something you should very much have at the forefront of your mind.

I understand the intense desire for a baby,

whatever. I’m new to mumsnet but I assumed the surrogacy section would be for people looking for info and support from people with experience . Sorry.

IVF clinic would be giving you the embryo and doing the process for free would they? If your friend has to take time off work for health reasons you’d just let her struggle financially? You didn’t include the details of the friend doing it in the OP so people couldn’t comment based on that. But you sound like you haven’t fully researched the ethics or costs of the process yet. People disagreeing with you aren’t universally wrong because you don’t want to hear it, you should consider all sides of the argument before making an informed choice.

Hopefully your own IVF will work out and you won’t have to make a decision on surrogacy anyway, fingers crossed for you OP.

It's not about people being judgemental for the sake of it. People are rightly concerned about the welfare of the egg donor, the surrogate mother and (most importantly) the baby who will be removed at birth from the woman whose body it has lived inside for nine months. Please, please do some research into the human rights concerns around surrogacy before you even consider going any further.

Erm selfish how is creating a child that will be loved and cherished selfish …Not every person has the luxury of creating a child easily and there are many many factors to be taken into consideration….

That's not how mumsnet works. Anyone can post anywhere.

@KazBuck that child is a human being, not a designer puppy.

That much is clear. I bet you light up when people post about surrogacy. Dying to share your opinion.

There’s a reason for that. It ensures all checks and safeguards are carried out for the child. Do you think thats wrong?