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Surrogacy

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Original poster

Parental order for donor embryo

331 replies

KazBuck · 30/12/2024 14:35

Ok I was wondering if anyone can give me advice. I was thinking to use a surrogate with a donor embryo but when looking at getting a parental order the child must be biologically related to the intended parents… Surely there must be a way around this ? I know I should speak to a solicitor and I’m waiting on a call just wondered if anyone has any experience with this topic x

OP posts:
AusMumhere · 11/01/2025 09:55

OhHolyJesus · 11/01/2025 08:03

This week I have read about 3 experiences on various social media forums and I wanted to share.

  1. A couple have a donor conceived baby with a sperm donor. The sperm donor is the father of the husband. The child is raised by his half brother, believing him to be his Dad and his social auntie is his genetic half sister. His genetic father is actually his social grandfather.
  1. A married woman knows she is donor conceived early on in life. As an interesting and fun thing to do she does a DNA test with her husband. It turns out they are related as half siblings. His Dad is her genetic father, he had never revealed to his family that he donated sperm. The couple have two children and are going to counselling so to learn about ways of telling them this important information on their genetic background.
  1. A couple have a child conceived with both donor egg and donor sperm and was born to a surrogate mother. (This is not a UK story.) They know about the ‘sibling pod’ from the genetic mother but not from the genetic father. They have embryos on ice which they own and are full genetic siblings of their child. They are pondering the ethical dilemma of potentially donating the embryos to someone else, like the OP, and what that would mean for the child as another child resulting from that would be the full genetic sibling of they child being raised elsewhere.

what's a 'social grandfather'? One that goes out a lot? 🙄

OhHolyJesus · 11/01/2025 13:44

He may also be sociable Grin

It's a bit like saying birth and adopting mother I suppose, the child is raised socially to understand this man is his grandfather but genetically he is the father.

It must be very confusing to learn this news, I imagine that even if you grow up knowing this from a young age you would realise at some point, perhaps when you go to school or reach adulthood, that it is very unusual.

MrsPeterHarris · 11/01/2025 13:46

This reply has been deleted

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JJZ · 18/01/2025 00:10

KazBuck · 31/12/2024 08:29

Thank you Mia thank you for the information you have provided. For couples who are infertile and the woman is unable to carry a pregnancy but does not want to use the embryo of the surrogate for emotional reasons, it makes things very difficult. I think I have options but I was surprised that using a donor embryo is not a viable option x

Show quote history

I think in those circumstances one would have to accept they cannot have children (except through adoption).

Just because something can be done medically, it doesn’t always mean it SHOULD be done.

We can’t all do everything we want, however hard that is to accept.

Lostmyusernametoday · 07/04/2025 22:32

BananaNirvana · 31/12/2024 08:50

Leaving aside the moral objections to surrogacy please don’t just suggest adoption to women struggling with fertility - I endured this for years from my fertile friends and it gave me the absolute rage. “Just adopt” without any understanding of what adoption actually looks like is facile and offensive advice.

Couldn’t agree more! It’s so reductive, and ignorant!

Lostmyusernametoday · 07/04/2025 22:43

@KazBuck just jumping in to wish you a positive outcome of your ivf or whatever path you end up on. Infertility is horribly painful and clearly lots of your thread hijacker's have not been through it. I understand some of the challenges around surrogacy (I’m not mad about the celeb outsourcing trend it does feel a bit grim) but this is so far from that! It’s very clear from your passion you’d make a lovely mum and I hope you get there

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