How to get motivated to be pretty again?

[MooFroo]

Hi all

been reading some of the s&b threads and I need help pls!

Im almost 50, almost 100kg and am realising how much I’ve let myself go in the last few years.

Im the fattest I’ve ever been. Had to show a 3 year old ID card to someone today and he did a double take and said I looked like a different person - stuck with me all day.

I have thinning hair so lots of skin showing on my scalp, and still can’t straighten my hair so it look nice. It’s either badly straightened or tied up which just makes me look even older - and the never ending greys don’t help! I home eye every few weeks

I have no fashion sense - just wear very safe and comfortable stuff (lots of black), and if it’s on sale then even better

I have frown lines on my forehead so look angry/grumpy all the time - when I’m the opposite personality wise!

I hadn’t realised how much work other people put into maintaining their looks l! Botox, fillers, microblading, facials etc - people I know spend spending a lot of time, money and effort on their looks and they look on it!

meanwhile I look shit and much older than them! I have the time and money but lack the motivation to actually do the work needed- mainly coz I’m not sure where to start and how to maintain it all.

1. I wear make up but stick to a few items that are easy to wear
2. basic skincare - night and day cream and foot cream
3. dye my grey eyebrows when I do my hair
4. and that’s about it tbh! What else do you 50 year olds do to look good?

I work from home a lot so don’t mix in public as much as I used to and just can’t be bothered to make the effort and lack confidence to try and experiment with new things

after the guys surprised look, I realised I’d seen it so many times before when people haven’t seen me for a while. Went out with a friend last week and we bumped into someone we both know who told her how great she always looks and just looked at me and sort of smirked - as if to imply I looked shit.

pls help with any advice or ideas that are fairly easy to action

thanks so much xx

@Rina66 which hot brush do you use, could you post a link?

You do sound a bit down and hard on yourself. Even going for a walk can seem too much effort for me some days. I recently bought a mini trampoline (rebounder) and even 10 minutes on it lifts my mood. I giggle away to myself whilst trying to follow a routine on YouTube. There is increasing data saying that is a really effective way for heavier ladies to exercise and lose weight. I subscribe to a rebounder exercise channel called Earth and Owl. She posts exercises for all abilities.

I think everyone would benefit from a subtle facial tanner, us Brits are a pasty bunch in the winter!

Oh wow! Just logged on and so many lovely messages and helpful honest shares - thank you all x

will read through properly and make a list in a notebook as someone suggested and start with the easier stuff to get some quick wins.

was out today doing some clothes returns and bought a gorgeous bright pink printed summer top - I shall wear it with pride!

thank you for those who highlighted the health aspect - that’s definitely more important for me than how I look - I’ve just been ignoring it all and trying to act like I don’t have any issues instead of tackling them and taking the steps to fix things! Also ordered iron tablets from Amazon so will be taking those

im so glad I posted - thank you so much!

Late to this , and do prioritise health / weight etc but as a quick win I had my hair coloured properly & cut nicely instead of doing it at home and it gave me an instant lift @MooFroo . One opinion only 💐

F. What an interesting thread. 😀

I had it cut 3 weeks ago but just a wash trim and blow dry Of the same style and no colour. It only looks good for one day - can never recreate the look 🥴

the colour makes my already thin hair really coarse for weeks afterwards - the box dye doesn’t do that?

It is isn’t it?! Lots of lovely sharing and tips

Thank you! I’ve bought a walking pad but only used it a few times and then put it under the sofa. 😩
I struggle massively with the motivation and feel so guilty for not doing things that I then don’t do them even more!

I’ve heard about rebounding before and it’s supposed to be good as well as fun - can imagine my boobs flying everywhere but all part of the fun eh?! My DS bought a skipping rope and I was planning to use that but it hasn’t happened yet!

Thank you @FruitBalm it all starts with tha weight loss and getting healthier and fitter doesn’t it.
I’ve been planning to go swimming and cycling - have a bike that’s hardly been used. I’m a beginner cyclist and nervous on roads but can do it and just need to practice. I can walk though but don’t do it enough - much easier to sit on the sofa and moan about things!!

that’s got to change! In reading all these wonderful posts and getting really excited about creating a healthy and fit me- 6 months to my 50th!

I need to and focus on weight first - using all the info and advice here

Thank you @wefly! love your energy! The sparkle is beneath the surface somewhere - just need to find it again!

I use the root colour spray - is that the same as scalp spray? I even bought WOW powder from Amazon to cover my scalp - works like a blusher/powder but I don’t use it all the time

pls share the name of the one you use - no pic?

teeth whitening is on the list but I am going to sort the implants first xx

This is the one @Thursdaygirl it's by Revamp and £44.99 at the moment. The bristles retract and it's got adjustable gear settings, I love it, so much better on my frizz prone hair than straighteners because I still have some body, which as you get older I think you need.

revamphair.com/progloss-volume-wave-hot-brush

@MariaMeringue sorry to jump in on this OP but can I ask about oral minoxidil and whether there are any side effects? I really think I may need this as my hair has been thinning for the last 10 years and it’s getting me so down. Any advice would be appreciated!

Best of luck OP with your looking after yourself and making improvements, there is some great advice on this thread. Just remember you deserve to feel good about yourself!

Totally agree with this. A 'tasteful' nude is often touted as being more sophisticated and better for older complexions, but if it's too pale it just makes you look very tired.

A brighter colour really does liven up the face. My tip - immediately after applying it, blot lips with a tissue (or palm of hand if no tissue available!) to remove some of the intensity. It leaves a longer-lasting stain that gives you colour while looking natural.

My favourite is MAC Burning Love, a terrifying deep red that blots down to a really flattering deep, cool pink on my (slightly sallow) skin.

I got a lovely lip crayon from No 7 today, so easy to apply, slightly glossy (not high shine as stated) and really nice choice of colours...

www.boots.com/no7-high-shine-lip-crayon-10294030

Just add a bit of bronzer, brows filled in (ELF do a great waterproof brown pencil for £4) and mascara - less than five minutes and you'll be amazed at the difference it makes.

Wow. Very surprised to read Botox recommendations straight away. And retinol, which people have clearly been overdoing, causing it to be soon banned over a certain limit.

Interesting insight into the S+B boards' wisdom.

@MariaMeringue - Hi there, can I ask who your dermatologist is? I have been spending £700 on hair extensions, every 4/5 months! Great growth from the roots, it's the ends that are shocking

Thanks @H34th
what kind of things would you recommend to do to help with weight loss and generallly looking better at aged 50?

this post was to get ideas and feedback so all are welcome x

Ive got to say honestly, getting the weight off will be the best thing you can do. If you need to use the injections to do so, go on ahead.

I was 58 when I took a look at me. 5ft 1 and a bit and coming in at near on 12 stone. My hair a mess, my clothes - tossed into a wardrobe and the door tight closed as I could only fit into a few pairs of leggings and tee shirts. I looked and felt a bloody mess and I needed to change and I was broke

The weight had to go. I took myself to SW because I know I need the motivation and accountability. At home I could just forget to weigh in, tell myself the scales arent working right etc etc. So I took myself down, near had heart failure when I saw how heavy I had got. Set myself a target of just 1 stone. The stone went, then the 10% of my body weight, then another half and another half - and so it went - slowly I admit, but I never ever ever stopped going, even when I knew I was going to show a gain

So now my size 18's and hanging and the 16s are loose, I couldnt afford a new wardrobe, time to open the wardrobe and see what was in there. Years of clothes from size 8's to 14's. I celebrated getting back into a size 14 by getting my hair styled, cos finally I could see myself looking back as to how I remembered. Sure a tad older and grey haired, but my face was showing how I remembered it, cheek bones were appearing , there was only one chin showing ( if I kept my head straight ) :) And getting the hair styled meant I had to get the eyebrows done

I started to look in the mirror more, I was beginning to like what I was seeing. So I came on here and started to read what ladies my age were using, and whilst I cant afford high end, I took the knowledge and have built a wee skin care routine which suits me, my skin and purse.

The only exercise I can do is walk. I walk, I walk ruddy miles a day. If Ive only done 10k steps its been a lazy day :) Now when I started I could barely walk the length of myself without huffing and puffing, the sweat dripping off me cos I was so covered up. But I kept at it and two weeks ago I completed a 26 mile hike for charity

The walking lifts me. Makes me feel good. Gives me time to think, to work things out . Im lucky that I live rural so have nice scenery about me even though Im having to walk the narrow roads trying not to be hit by cars. But Im out there every day, summer or winter walking, sunshine or pitch dark - I go out

I posed for family photos this week. Actually looking back at my photos on my phone, the last pictures of me were taken back in 2016. Seems like from then on DH went everywhere alone until last summer :) For 7 years I had avoided the camera. Weddings, parties, holidays, family days - Im not there

Last summer it was our sons wedding. I was in a size 14 and felt a million dollars. I was in the photos :)

This summer Im a lot smaller still. I know it shouldnt be about size, but I was never ever happy being big. And losing the weight and keeping it off has really boosted my self confidence. Im never going to be an oil painting, Ive creases and wrinkles, jowls and a bit of a turkey neck, but thats all ok with me because I can finally see me again

I have even taken to wearing makeup again. Im content at the face I see now, I just like to make it look brighter and more polished to match the fact that I wear well fitting clothes rather then the tents I used to hide under. Ive still middle aged spread, a bit of a belly but thats ok

Good luck xxx

I'm a couple of years younger than you but not by much. I tipped the scales at 110kg at my heaviest. I'm now 70kg and that's the thing that's helped me the most- the weight loss. I have worked hard at it with no additional help. Cut out bread, pasta, pizza, crisps, cheese and alcohol and keep myself motivated with My Fitness Pal and my full lenth mirror. The key is being determined and keeping going even in the weeks where you can't be bothered. During my journey I have experienced my parent passing away, difficulties with keeping a business running and I'm parenting 3 ASN children. Genuinely- and kindly- if I kept going through all that then I firmly believe you can do this
Please stay clear of fillers and Botox- they will age you more than anything! Especially when you lose weight! For make up I swear by Benefit 'That Gal' on the apples of your cheeks, a dash of Nars 'Orgasm' liquid blush on top and a good mascara like Eyeko or Soap & Glory's own one. A lipstain like Benetint can be good for getting comfortable with brighter shades or Nars do some lovely glosses that are very light to wear and easy to apply.
Have fun getting back to you, and enjoy seeing your results as you go

What a lovely post @suki1964.
You've done so well.

Oh wow @suki1964 thank you for your honest sharing of your journey! I resonated with your feelings so much and have only just realised how much I feel the same! Avoid photos, hide behind someone - and it’s the weight that is the catalyst for all of that.

so glad you got to where you want to be and stuck with it - I need to do the same!

@suki1964 I have had a very similar journey, down to the height and weight! I also feel more 'me' and can accept the rest of my age and body, it has made a huge difference to my overall positivity.

Thankyou @Alwaystimeforacupoftea @MooFroo @Cantonet

I had to be honest and admit to myself I hated the weight , which is hard to do when we mustn't body shame and now we have larger models telling us it is OK to be this weight. But it wasn't OK for me. I hated it and because I hated my body I didn't bother a fidge. Never shaved the legs, pits, sorted the eyebrows. I had a hair cut that I had absolutely no interest in and even glasses that I have to wear to see, I couldn't be bothered to choose and just took the pair the optician assistant told me suited me Glasses Im wearing this year - took 3 hours to pick :)

So for me ,losing the weight was the only way I could feel pretty again and do the self care that helps with that

Funny thing, when I wasnt working on me, avoiding the mirrors , hiding from cameras, avoiding invites out etc, I used to have the most stunning nails, I lavished all that care on those. I learned to do gels, I was beginning to work with acrylic and polygels. My nails were my outlet. If the rest of me was a mess at least my nails were stunning. I always had talons - my own nails. Now my nails are ( to me ) a pure mess. I have even been known to leave the house with a chip !!! lol They are shorter then they have been in forever and often bare.

Like I say, Ive still got a face like a slapped arse, Im never ever going to be a beauty , but Im back making the best of what I have and Im so enjoying it. I actually get compliments on my hair nowadays. Two years ago Id go into work with a hair cut and not one comment, not one, ignored because no one could truthfully say " love the hair" "that really suits you" because I never cared myself and just went for quick and easy - wash and go - so I didnt need to sit in front of a mirror and see myself and see how I had allowed myself to get

So yep its been a long journey, one Im still on and battling every day. I still love cake and today was a heavy on the cake day after a weekend of excess so Ive had to take time this evening to sort out proper filling meals for work tomorrow ( and the rest of the week ) to stop me lifting cake. I know I can go overboard for maybe 2 days a week, then I have to knuckle down and go back to the veg and protein and lower the carbs and avoid UPFs

It is about getting fit now that keeps me motivated

The only bloods that are still iffy is cholesterol , but I drink and unless that stops the levels will always be high so GP isnt too bothered . BP = Im on the lowest dose of medication Ive been on for 40 years. According to all the calculators, Ive a fitness age of a 54 year old and I have a V02 max which is in the top 30% for my age and gender . And Im hoping to improve on all that because I lost so many years of my life and now theres not so many ahead, I want to enjoy them

You can.

Im no one special, no super powers or anything. Ok I did land in the perfect storm, I was unemployed and needed to find a part time job which around here are all customer facing so needed to look presentable, plus our son decided to get married in Italy. But still I was so scared I wasnt going to get to what in my head was perfection, so I chose to take baby steps. One Stone. I gave myself 5 months to lose 14lb. It was an achievable goal. Thats all I focussed on, that 14lb. And it did come off slowly - about 3 months and by then the habits were becoming second nature, so time of the wedding, Id lost 2 stone and had secured a job in a very plush place. Even now I give myself tiny goals whilst Im learning to maintain the weight and not increase it. Mind SW helps with that, if I go 3 above or 3 below I have to pay again, and I dont ever intend that happening - great motivation :)

Perhaps you have found your perfect storm? You have woken up to the fact it is the weight that's holding you back. And that's really really hard to admit