How to get motivated to be pretty again?

[MooFroo]

Hi all

been reading some of the s&b threads and I need help pls!

Im almost 50, almost 100kg and am realising how much I’ve let myself go in the last few years.

Im the fattest I’ve ever been. Had to show a 3 year old ID card to someone today and he did a double take and said I looked like a different person - stuck with me all day.

I have thinning hair so lots of skin showing on my scalp, and still can’t straighten my hair so it look nice. It’s either badly straightened or tied up which just makes me look even older - and the never ending greys don’t help! I home eye every few weeks

I have no fashion sense - just wear very safe and comfortable stuff (lots of black), and if it’s on sale then even better

I have frown lines on my forehead so look angry/grumpy all the time - when I’m the opposite personality wise!

I hadn’t realised how much work other people put into maintaining their looks l! Botox, fillers, microblading, facials etc - people I know spend spending a lot of time, money and effort on their looks and they look on it!

meanwhile I look shit and much older than them! I have the time and money but lack the motivation to actually do the work needed- mainly coz I’m not sure where to start and how to maintain it all.

1. I wear make up but stick to a few items that are easy to wear
2. basic skincare - night and day cream and foot cream
3. dye my grey eyebrows when I do my hair
4. and that’s about it tbh! What else do you 50 year olds do to look good?

I work from home a lot so don’t mix in public as much as I used to and just can’t be bothered to make the effort and lack confidence to try and experiment with new things

after the guys surprised look, I realised I’d seen it so many times before when people haven’t seen me for a while. Went out with a friend last week and we bumped into someone we both know who told her how great she always looks and just looked at me and sort of smirked - as if to imply I looked shit.

pls help with any advice or ideas that are fairly easy to action

thanks so much xx

I’ve literally just taken my first dose the weight loss injection so fingers crossed!

start date - 3 August 2024
start weight - 89kg/196lbs/ 14.2stone
target weight - 60kg / 133lbs/ 9.6 stone

went swimming yesterday for first time in a couple of years and DH and I both joined the gym there which is minimum 3 month commitment so e enough time to give it a real push and both get fitter. Really enjoyed it and we got in a walk straight afterwards before coming home.

Not quite 50 but approaching 50.

I do a number of things for my health - that also have a very positive effect on my looks.

1. HRT - the oestrogen does wonders for my skin.

2. gym / weight training and 10k + steps
   In conjunction with a high protein 1800 calorie diet I've totally changed my shape and lost nearly 2 stone. I look so much better.

3. barely any alcohol / it's an occasional treat now.

And things I do purely for my looks:

1. tretinoin - via Skin and me
2. highlighted hair 3 times a year
3. SPF 50 daily
4. makeup

Thanks for sharing @missfliss!

im trying to get to 10k steps daily but it’s a challenge! Have started swimming so doing 20 odd laps on a 20m pool so hoping that will make an impact on overall health and body shape. Sauna and steam room seems to be helping my skin look good already

my moisturiser is SPF 30 - that’s all I use spf wise?

@MooFroo I just wanted to say thank you for this thread. It is so helpful and inspiring.

I'm about to be 48, just over 100kg. I'm wearing 18 but teetering on the edge of 20 which I refuse to succumb to so it's now or never. I'd like to lose 20kg which I know will get me to the 14-16 I am happy with. I want to hit 50 feeling great.

I've always been "voluptuous" but I now have a way too big belly and my boobs are now matronly rather than sexy! My feet hurt now from carrying my weight, and while I don't have joint problems or other health issues I know it's only a matter of time.

After a flirtation with high bp last year, I do 10k steps a day (still do the school run for my youngest but that will go this year as he is getting old enough to walk himself home so need to find time for that elsewhere) and weight training 2x per week. This got my bp back under control. I am getting fitter. My issue is food. Too much of it. Needs a lot of work.

The main thing I've noticed is that I've let the other things go too and I think a few quick wins on making my hair look nice, a bit of make up daily, perfume may make me feel better about myself enough to make myself think that I am worth the hard work on weight loss.

I've had a very busy time in the last 2 years. Working a portfolio career when kids were younger worked but now it's taking too much from me as I've upped hours as they've got bigger but not shed responsibilities, and I've recently realised that the competing multiple priorities mean I've lost bandwidth to also prioritise myself.

Fortunately I am about to start a brilliant new job that requires me to refocus. Part time initially which will allow me over the next few months to shed the other responsibilities at the right time (some complications of contract end dates etc) before I up the hours. I'm very very keen that I shed these so that I can focus on just one job and then kids and me the rest of the time.

Your thread is hugely inspirational and also some really practical ideas.

Thank you to you and all the other posters.

Oh @Blacktreacle I hear you! I was the same going from 16 to an 18 and then just crept up to 20 and still trying to justify that other people are way bigger than me!

good on you for realising it and taking action - we all know what we need to do to change things, it’s just hard to make those changes!

Sounds like you have a good plan and timeline - this threats is a fab one with loads of great ideas, tips and real life things that work! Glad you found it as helpful as I have

have you looked into the weight loss injections? I’d been following threads for a while and finally took the plunge to help me with the weight loss. Only been a few days but I do feel positive about it and believe it will give me that kickstart I soooooo badly need!

Ive upped my exercise, and taking better care of myself. Lots to work on but we will get there!

I'm thinking about them now, but it hadn't really considered they might be for somebody like me (don't know why!) until I read about them on this thread so I need to do a lot more research first I think.

There’s a specific weight loss injections thread so definitely check that out - lots of Questions answered in there and real life experiences of people from all starting points

I’d been scared to go ahead even though a couple of people I know have done it and lost weight - the threads are very reassuring

I also spoke to my Dr before starting so may be worth doing that too?

dr suggested doing the 1-1 plan which they can prescribe but told him I’d rather pay for his for next couple of months so I can get the whole family eating better rather than living off shakes - been there and done that before!

It's a great idea to get everyone else eating better too. My key tips would be a) always eat at regular mealtimes whether you feel hungry or not (even a tiny amount) because then you don't go without food for ages and won't faint/feel ill and it will be good for your blood sugar! I eat three meals and one snack before bed and have done fine. b) eat your protein first, then your veggies and then your carbs. That way if you don't eat so much you are still getting that important protein and veggies, and if you combine that with your new found-love of walking/exercise, will help you retain muscle and lose fat (not lose so much muscle). It really is an opportunity for a reset, which it sounds like you are totally up for, this has been such a great thread. Good your GP is involved too so they can see how your diabetes and HBP is doing in all of this as well. Yay!

Thank you @Alwaystimeforacupoftea ❤️

a reset is the right word! Had a make up session today to learn how to apply it better and for my more mature skin - was really lovely and left feeling great. She told me how gorgeous my skin was which was a lovely compliment.

im weighing daily to track my weight over a longer period as it fluctuates so much if done weekly and this morning it seems to be 3lbs down from a couple of days ago so that was a little boost too!

need to make more effort with water - not sure why that’s so hard to do 😩

Start wearing colour. All black, cheap clothes really do shout: I wish I was invisible. And they leach colour from your skin. Find a couple of colours that really suit your skin and eye colours and buy a few tops in those colours that fit properly over the shoulders and draw attention to your best features..

A good haircut and brow shaping does wonders. Have you tried Biotin for thinning hair? I know someone whose hair was transformed from thinning to rrally thick in a few weeks by taking a biotin supplement. When I remember ti take my supplements, my hair is way thicker. Not sure if it's the iron, Vit B, Vit D or L-Tyrosine. I think it's the tyrosine. Makes a massive difference.

Please dont weigh yourself daily, you are on a hiding to nowhere

Set your self that one day/morning, where your routine is the same, Mine is Saturday. I get up the same time, I go to the toilet the same time ( ish) , I weigh the same time - that is the weight I register. Do I step on the scales midweek? Sometimes, but I never register those weights, Saturday at between 7:30 and 7:45 am, thats my "weigh in " the one I trust. So the scales might not be perfect but because its the same time, same routine, its as close to true Im going to get

We are human, a food might bloat us, we might be retaining water, time of the month, too many coffees, not enough water, too many variables for a daily weigh in being worth anything other then stress. So weekly is really the best way to go , and replicate as much as possible the same weigh in - time, clothes, toileting etc. For me Friday is let my hair down and I sink more then a few, so the weight difference between a Thursday and Saturday can be 2lb, which is why I dont register any cheeky steps on the scales

I did do a thanks rather then a reply to you starting your weight loss injections. Well done for you wanting a change so much that you are open to every avenue of help. Im really admiring your determination from posting not so long ago your despair and now how you have made sure huge steps forward and actually enjoying the transformation

As I said up thread, every little change brings another, Who would have thought Id now be using an eyebrow wax?? lol

Find a good hair stylist, ideally through recommendations but otherwise just do your research. You can book a consultation and get their advice on which hair treatments will help you, as well as the most flattering cut and colour.

Do you have a good skincare routine? Doesn't need to be complicated, just include an spf, cleanser, moisturiser and serum for any specific concerns (check which vitamin complexes and oils they have)

For make up, you can book a consultation at a beauty concierge. Not sure where you live, but if you're near London you can book an appointment at Selfridges where they'll walk you through their beauty counters and offer suggestions

Of course, simple things like buying yourself a lovely perfume, new nail colour, jewellery, will always help

@Meadowwild I love bright colours but haven been in invisible black for too long! Am bringing colour back into my wardrobe when I’m buying new items. I remember having a colour consultation about 30 years ago and still use a lot of the colours they recommended at the time which look great on me.

I do take biotin and have had PRP done as well - not made a huge difference to date! Will keep on taking it and see if it does kick in

Oooh well done on the eyebrow waxing @suki1964!
thanks so much for all your kinds words, support and sharing - I’m taking it all in.

Might sound weird but the daily weigh in (same time, after morning shower) is to help me NOT get caught up in the numbers - don’t think I am anyway tbh but it does really highlight the huge difference a day can make and gives me an idea I can be more aware of how my body works.

It’s all a learning curve so will see how it goes and make changes as needed.

Im not massively bothered about the numbers on the scale as long as I am getting healthier and fitter. I found myself with that as a mantra in my head while swimming and helped me to do a couple of extra laps -

“I am healthy
I am fit
I am fabulous”

tbh I’m making so many changes it’s great but also exhausting! But I do feel good about taking control of my body and taking action to look and feel better - long may it continue!

Just shared first week weigh in over on the WL threads so sharing here too x

Week Two for me - 2.5g just done

Start date - 3 August 2024

Start weight - 89kg/196lbs/ 14.2stone

Current weight 1 week in 10 August - 193.4lbs

First week loss - 2.6lbs (weighing most days just to keep track of the fluctuation - lowest this week was 191.7 and highest 195.3)

Target weight - 60kg / 133lbs/ 9.6 stone (think this will change to closer to 10 stone)

Have been eating well, swimming and walking a lot more. Not really felt massive appetite suppression and have had good sized portions

need to track better and drink more water!!

I'm a big believer in slow and steady wins the race with these things. Just keep doing what you are doing, as you are doing amazingly well!

Slow and steady with the weight loss. Make the meals as healthy as you can and eat your fill, you wont be reaching for snacks 30 mins after eating a plate of lettuce :) I eat plenty, last night I made egg fried rice and a kind of chinese dish with some rather manky looking ( badly cut, they were fine ) loin chops I sliced up and piled the veg into both the rice and the pork dish. Was actually very tasty and relatively healthy with very little oil used, although yes a good bit of salt in the soy sauce and maybe a lot of sugar in the chilli sauce I used, but compared to a take away - perfectly screaming healthy, and that was all the sugar and salt I had consumed all day. I tend to make the foods I like, but make them as healthy as possible, air frying mostly. KFC is out, HM is in :)

I'd say start with 2 - 3 changes max or you'll be overwhelmed and won't sustain. When you have those down expand into other things.

I would prioritise:

1. Hairdresser - get your hair coloured and cut. Ask people for recommendations. If you're happy with the result first time book in your follow up straight away so it's in the diary. Easy one.

1. Losing weight healthily. Don't rush (not sustainable). Nothing faddy - reduce your calorie intake and do some kind of cardio 5 days of the week. I built up to doing 20 mins up and down the stairs before breakfast and made a big difference in 8 weeks. Try and schedule in a Pilates class or something too.

When you lose weight you will feel more inspired to buy nice clothes and trying them on will feel amazing. You'll also have a healthier glow in general!

Also, just to get in the mood of enjoying looking after yourself more, try some lovely bath and shower products. I like Lush, or even Faith in Nature. They won't necessarily change your appearance, but nice smells and textures might help you actually enjoy spending time on yourself, rather than seeing it as a chore.

Speaking from experience.

Good luck!

That's such a good start. I believe in rewards as a motivator. So every week that you stick to plan, lose weight and/or exercise daily and stay within calorie deficit (even if you don't lose weight as women do have hormonal fluctuations) you should give yourself a treat that helps you towards your goal of feeling prettier. A new nail polish or lipstick, a facemask, a fitness magazine, essential oils or bath salts etc. One small thing each week. It also helps retrain the brain that treats are not food-based.

@missfliss how long did it take you to change shape with the weightlifting?

Thank you @Meadowwild :)
the rewards are a good idea especially as normally a treat involves going out for food! Will have a think

also had chiropractor treatments this week, last went a few years ago as have had back issues. She did a cracking (!) job and I can feel a difference and also see I’m standing straighter with my shoulders less hunched and less painful. So hopefully will see and feel a good difference with that too x

Thank you @Jellyandicecreamandcustard - this line from your post is key for me -

” get in the mood of enjoying looking after yourself more”

Ive always seen it as a chore and something that’s too much effort so do the basics. But it’s so true that when you do make the effort, mentally and physically to work on yourself, you will reap the benefits. A little thing I do now is some small exercises while watching Netflix - waking, stretching, calf raises, balancing on one leg, backwards walking etc - the only real effort and change there is getting up be doing some simple movements, rather than sitting on the sofa, so that’s an easy one but has taken a mindset change to do. Crazy really!

I did a yoga class last week so planning ing to make that a weekly thing and start doing weights at the same gym once I’ve had my induction

thank you, it’s definitely a marathon and not a sprint so although some big changes at the start, think that kickstart and boost has been really helpful to change my approach to looking after me. Now it’s focusing on the regular stuff for the next few months and building a sustainable routine and long term lifestyle xx

I’m 44 and I do know how you feel. I was 102kg last year which was obese for me (I’m tall) I’m down to 87kg which is a 27 bmi which is still overweight but heading the right way, down to a size 14.

I have rediscovered skin care, if you go down retinol route please wear spf it makes your skin v. sensitive to sun light.

I gave up alcohol and sugar and it’s made my skin so
much better it’s not red / bloated I got back
my cheekbones sadly double chin still a work in
progress. I get away without much makeup just a bit of concealer and mascara. I subscribed to a beauty box which has been fun as it’s encouraged me to to try new stuff.

Id also go to Gp and get bloods done too. I found out I’m anaemic which caused a lot of fatigue and I’d use caffeine and biscuits to perk myself up which caused weight gain.

Well done on your weight loss @Lovelysummerdays ! That’s amazing and hope you feel great for having done it l. I hear you on the double chin - I have a couple of my own 🤣🤣

I’ve had bloods done and do have low iron - taking iron tablets for that, non prescribed.

had a swim and sauna today, very little walking but did dig out some 3kg dumbbells and did a light workout this morning which is good!

This is a great thread. I'm so happy you are making progress @MooFroo .

One thing that struck me about your earlier posts was how often you mentioned that you had started something healthy/cosmetic but didn't keep it up.

There is a reason why we call women who put a lot of emphasis on looking good 'high maintenance'. You really do have to maintain the lifestyle and effort long term.

My friends always tease me for being high maintenance and it's true. I'm in my sixties and a lot of time, money, effort and self denial go into keeping myself fit and looking good. My friends will compliment me and I'm always very honest about tweakments/exercise/diet/beauty treatments to which they normally respond 'Oh I couldn't be bothered with all that'. Which is fair enough, we all have different priorities but unless you have the genes of a supermodel you can't expect to be fit and well groomed as you age without working at it.