How to get motivated to be pretty again?

[MooFroo]

Hi all

been reading some of the s&b threads and I need help pls!

Im almost 50, almost 100kg and am realising how much I’ve let myself go in the last few years.

Im the fattest I’ve ever been. Had to show a 3 year old ID card to someone today and he did a double take and said I looked like a different person - stuck with me all day.

I have thinning hair so lots of skin showing on my scalp, and still can’t straighten my hair so it look nice. It’s either badly straightened or tied up which just makes me look even older - and the never ending greys don’t help! I home eye every few weeks

I have no fashion sense - just wear very safe and comfortable stuff (lots of black), and if it’s on sale then even better

I have frown lines on my forehead so look angry/grumpy all the time - when I’m the opposite personality wise!

I hadn’t realised how much work other people put into maintaining their looks l! Botox, fillers, microblading, facials etc - people I know spend spending a lot of time, money and effort on their looks and they look on it!

meanwhile I look shit and much older than them! I have the time and money but lack the motivation to actually do the work needed- mainly coz I’m not sure where to start and how to maintain it all.

1. I wear make up but stick to a few items that are easy to wear
2. basic skincare - night and day cream and foot cream
3. dye my grey eyebrows when I do my hair
4. and that’s about it tbh! What else do you 50 year olds do to look good?

I work from home a lot so don’t mix in public as much as I used to and just can’t be bothered to make the effort and lack confidence to try and experiment with new things

after the guys surprised look, I realised I’d seen it so many times before when people haven’t seen me for a while. Went out with a friend last week and we bumped into someone we both know who told her how great she always looks and just looked at me and sort of smirked - as if to imply I looked shit.

pls help with any advice or ideas that are fairly easy to action

thanks so much xx

Two easy ideas to implement:

1. Retinol serum. Medik8 retinol serum is great and £34. A few drops on your face at bedtime 1-2 times a week at first

1. Intermittent fasting. It’s the only thing that has worked for me to lose weight. I downloaded the “fastic” app which is free. Doing 14:10 plan. The app has a timer to tell you when to start and stop eating. It’s so easy.

Good luck, and I hope you start feeling better about yourself soon. You sound like a lovely person from your post!

Thank you so much, very sweet of you!

what does retinol do? I’ve got magnesium tablets and collagen powder but keep forgetting to use it!

I’ve tried IF and used the app. It felt great to not think about food first thing so was doing 16/8 - post a couple of pounds but then out back on again after time of the month. I didn’t have a rush of energy that others talk about or see any huge difference - can’t just be me?!

Firstly, the ID checker can just fuck right off.

Secondly -

1. tanning drops in your face cream?
2. Can you use social media to follow style influencer with your body shape/style type? Also I love Marie Anne lecoeur on YouTube, I just find her videos really soothing. Take a look at your underwear situation too- read a few s+b posts on where to get measured.
3. Can you afford a perfume or a lovely bubble bath? I find smell boosts my mood and self esteem.
4. Add new basics in as your budget /time etc allows, and a few trendier pieces, take a look at the silhouettes of trousers now as an example, a lot has changed recently and there are more options rn in fabrics.

If you can't afford an exfoliator, just use sugar and a little olive oil or those £1 mitts. Paint your nails in a pale shade, you'll feel put together and it's low maintenance.

I'm not assuming you're on a budget btw so please don't be offended - I am on a budget so I'm just speaking from my own experience.

Keep trawling through s+b it's a whole trove of knowledge

Start with the hair. Book a hairdresser and get some advice. Book to get your eyebrows shaped and tinted if needs be. Book for some Botox on your forehead. Have a good think about your diet. Start simple by walking in the evenings. Perhaps buy a couple of new outfits to get you started. They don't need to be expensive.

You have the time and money so use them!

• I second the hairdresser idea, home dye never looks well
• Botox and/or fillers
• Personal trainer and walk at least 30 mins 5 times a week
• Try to eliminate junk food and just have it as an occasional treat
• Book in with a personal shopper and get a new capsule wardrobe. Keep doing this if you do lose weight or add to it if you don't
• Look at YouTube for makeup tips, or visit lots of different counters in a department store
• Sort out your brows if they need it, get a manicure and pedicure
• Make sure your teeth look their best, get them whitened if necessary
• Buy some new jewellery and perfume and wear it everyday
• Be kind to yourself

Wear a lipstick colour that is a bit bolder than your normal colour.
A cream highlighter on your cheekbones gives an instant brightener to your face.
Buy a couple of tops that suit your body shape that you really love. I feel much more confident and happy when I’m wearing flattering clothes. Don’t wait til you lose weight to have nice clothes. Look at some colours that suit you and you really like.
Get a pair of really nice shoes that make you happy. Or a nice bag.
Earrings and a necklace can make you look polished. A scarf can do the same.
If you’re happy with your skincare don’t do anything else. I treat myself to nice face cream because it feels nice and gives me a boost.
After I put on weight and hit “omg, I’m old and ugly” I made a conscious effort to be positive about something about myself, especially when I look in the mirror.
It really helps your confidence and motivation.

I snorted at the first line! Thanks so much but tbh his reaction was one I’ve had it a few times when I’ve seen people after ages!
Worst bit is I look bloody awful in that particular photo - so maybe he was complimenting me and I look better now?!

some great ideas and feedback and all things that are actionable - just need to get off my ass and do them!

Thank you ladies! Some really good tips and I now have a list to work through so it’s less overwhelming.
being fat doesn’t mean letting everything else go - need to remember that while I work to lose weight x

1. I’ve just filled out contact form online for a fillers consultation - I’ve actually contacted this clinic before and then got too scared to go ahead with the consultation 🥴
2. Teeth is a good one - again I’ve been and had a consultation as i need dental implants and then got scared about going ahead - there’s a pattern emerging here!
3. I will watch some YouTube videos on hair styles and also freshening up my make up and learn how to apply it better - groupon have some make up classes so might book one and learn in person

thank you so much for the positivity and support!

F
Someone asked me if I was pregnant the other day! Need to change!

I honestly think fillers would be the wrong thing to do at this stage. Especially if you plan to lose some weight as your face shape will change.
I would be tempted to first of all invest in some injectable weight loss treatment. Weight loss will make you feel & look better pretty quickly & it's definitely anti-aging.

Good for you, life is too short to feel crap about yourself! One step at a time and your confidence will improve with each one.

Fillers wouldn't be used for forehead frowns. Botox.

Oh no! It’s crazy isn’t it how one comment or look can be the one that clicks - hopefully it can focus us both on taking better care of ourselves x

Thank you @Cantonet do you mean ozempic type weight loss drugs? I’ve been thinking the same tbh - again another tbh g I’ve just been scared to actually do

would qualify through my doctor as I’m type 2 and obese at 35 BMI.

Goes to show how much I know! They’ll contact me to book in the consultation so can ask then what they’d recommend: it’s a reputable clinic, run by a GP and lots of great reviews over many years which is why if contacted them last year but didn’t go ahead with even the consultation.

I think what someone said about getting get the quick wins in is a good way - I struggle with the motivation and keeping up with things so if I can get some fast results over the next 2 months I’d be over the moon! Have a big family event in around 8 weeks that I was planning to lose weight for but hasn’t happened

it’s not too late to kickstart some changes for then!

I’ve also just decided im going to get a full length mirror in my bedroom or hallway upstairs - I don’t have one and hate looking at myself fully so don’t do it.

if im more aware of my overall top to toe look, that will hopefully help me to make more of an effort rather than not seeing and not caring every day.

I don’t mean to sound shallow and make it about appearances - I’m a happy confident person - but am realising how much I’ve held myself back by not looking after myself health and looks wise x

Good Lord, will people never learn.

This happened to me at an event seven years ago and lets just say it affected me quite badly, emotionally.

Yes @MooFroo .
Mounjaro is a newer one that is considered more effective. I'm not sure you would qualify on the NHS even as a diabetic as it can be difficult & you may have to jump through a number of hoops first. You can buy it privately after an online consultation from around £160 a month.
A lot of individuals lose weight very effectively on it & quite quickly.

If you are type 2 diabetic you would qualify for the weekly injection (ozempic, mounjaro) if your bmi is >35 and you are already on 2 other diabetes medications and your HBA1c is still above target. If your diabetes is in control then you are unlikely to get it through the GP/diabetes nurse.

I certainly think it's worth having a diabetes rv and seeing if you are eligible. If not are you in the position to buy it privately? It costs about £170-£200 a month but I personally think it is a game changer and something that would work really well for you. These injections also have other health benefits too.

I also think you should just go and treat yourself to a hair appointment, the hairdresser can teach you how to style it.

Try to walk 10k steps a day in the fresh air. If you are working from home this is so important for your mental health. You may not achieve 10k steps straight away but it's something to aim for.

And treat yourself to a brow shape/tint

How long have you been diabetic for? There is a new programme called "the pathway to remission" you may be eligible if you have been diabetic for no more than 6 years. Take a look online and see if it's something that would work for you and ask to be referred x x x

I just find if my hair has a good day, I have a good day, so that's where I invest the time.
I use good products, blow dry properly (only wash twice a week) and style/smooth it every day with a hot brush with retractable teeth like the GHD Rise but better.

I totally agree with lots of what's already been said too, especially weight loss, I'm two stone overweight and my knees hurt, my feet get sore and it shows in my face - would love to be brave enough to try the injections.

I’m incredibly vain approaching 50 and feel your pain.

My top tips are the start the NHS couch to 5k and to order a range of products from the Ordinary company and get Jones Road miracle balm. I’m getting so many compliments about my skin since buying a range of colors.
Good luck!

www.jonesroadbeauty.com/

Thank you so much @unclejonnymademydress

type 2 for almost a year and recently been told I have high blood pressure and cholesterol too - only slightly in both cases and no medication for anything, told to try to change through lifestyle changes.

ive read around the weight loss injections and to be honest i think they are the next thing for me to try.

I always resist the final step - will do the research etc and then just not make the final decision - like I did with dental implants and skin consultations! I just need to say yes to some of this stuff!!

This might sound a little flippant but for some people wearing a bright lipstick (that works with your skin tone) makes a huge difference.

My mum (72) always wears lipstick and blow dries her hair and gets constant compliments about how she looks. I’m a similar age to you and have started noticing that I look less tired and more ready for the day if a) I wear lipstick and b) wear a bright colour that suits me. I actually think it’s just colour near my face that’s working- for some that could be emphasising their eyes with make up or earrings.

I know neutrals are seen as more elegant, I have so many neutrals to look smart at work etc… but get compliments in reds and blues. I’d rather not explore fillers or Botox ideally. I think there are many avenues to go down before this.

Agree with pp re: lipstick; you'll feel more pulled together and it has a disproportionately brightening affect for such a quick fix- also this

https://www.boots.com/no7-hydraluminous-lip-balm-10300837

Can be a good thing to have for top-ups in your bag/pocket/car (nappy bag in my case). Bit of colour, no need for a mirror to apply on the go, nice and hydrating.

Not a massive fan of the packaging but some nice neutral colours.

If your hair has thinned have you had your iron levels checked. I lost lots of hair last year - late 40s and that was the reason. Having been on iron I feel much better, have hair growing back and energy for increasing the amount of exercise I did so have lost some weight too. Maybe ask for some blood tests too.

There are lots of ladies of a similar age in the gym working on building strength through using weights so in time maybe that’s something you could try, it’s given me so much more definition and I was already a gym goer, so have been amazed by the result.

I do have Botox in my frown lines and feel ‘refreshed’ when those are softer too. And use Elemis Pro Collagen range to perk up my skin - buying when on offer.