How to get motivated to be pretty again?

[MooFroo]

Hi all

been reading some of the s&b threads and I need help pls!

Im almost 50, almost 100kg and am realising how much I’ve let myself go in the last few years.

Im the fattest I’ve ever been. Had to show a 3 year old ID card to someone today and he did a double take and said I looked like a different person - stuck with me all day.

I have thinning hair so lots of skin showing on my scalp, and still can’t straighten my hair so it look nice. It’s either badly straightened or tied up which just makes me look even older - and the never ending greys don’t help! I home eye every few weeks

I have no fashion sense - just wear very safe and comfortable stuff (lots of black), and if it’s on sale then even better

I have frown lines on my forehead so look angry/grumpy all the time - when I’m the opposite personality wise!

I hadn’t realised how much work other people put into maintaining their looks l! Botox, fillers, microblading, facials etc - people I know spend spending a lot of time, money and effort on their looks and they look on it!

meanwhile I look shit and much older than them! I have the time and money but lack the motivation to actually do the work needed- mainly coz I’m not sure where to start and how to maintain it all.

1. I wear make up but stick to a few items that are easy to wear
2. basic skincare - night and day cream and foot cream
3. dye my grey eyebrows when I do my hair
4. and that’s about it tbh! What else do you 50 year olds do to look good?

I work from home a lot so don’t mix in public as much as I used to and just can’t be bothered to make the effort and lack confidence to try and experiment with new things

after the guys surprised look, I realised I’d seen it so many times before when people haven’t seen me for a while. Went out with a friend last week and we bumped into someone we both know who told her how great she always looks and just looked at me and sort of smirked - as if to imply I looked shit.

pls help with any advice or ideas that are fairly easy to action

thanks so much xx

@Somepeoplearesnippy thank you! it sounds as if you really look after yourself so all respect to you! Bet you look and feel amazing!

Definitely progress being made - some stuff is visible like the Botox and my lovely new smoother forehead :) The less visible stuff is great too - new contact lenses with higher water content which don’t dry my eyes out, so I’m likely to wear them more now.

yes totally agree re maintenance- a lot of time, effort, money, planning and thought needs to go into looking just halfway decent - and a lot more to look really good! I massively underestimated how much effort people do put into it and can see the results on those who look so good!

Im hoping I can do enough now to become a lifer and make long term changes - even though I am
exhausted and almost broke! it’s expensive to look halfway decent 🤣🤣

A little update - Little non scale victory - got into an old 40DD bra today instead of the 42 DD ones I’ve been wearing for years.
Wore it with a dress that was very fitted on me the last time I wore it and I felt so much better in in this time :)

weight wise was 191.1 yesterday, started at 196lbs so have lost around 5lbs in the 3 weeks since starting so hoping the losses pick up a bit

Well done @MooFroo - attitude change and a few tweaks really helps!
Hear hear @Somepeoplearesnippy! I was at a recent 60th party and the woman in question looked fantastic - better than most equally aged people there. She works and has three (grown up but two still at home) kids, but has a strict regime of working out daily, always has her hair washed and blown dry (she does it herself but get that treatment that keeps it a certain way for a couple weeks? Italian something)? Highlights always done at regular intervals, well applied make up, clothes always in fashion (she never spends the day in gym gear) but no obvious labels (she couldn't afford designer but is a keen shopper). But still her brother teased her about her exercise obsession in his speech and that she always 'looked so much more put together' than the rest of us (thanks mate).
She gave me a wake up call that night too as she said I looked nice and 'so unlike your normal self', which is frankly no make up and clothes more for comfort than style. I am, objectively, better looking than she is. But she puts the work in and has maintained herself so much better than me so there's no contest now! I'm going to use her as my role model and step it up (literally). Never too late!

@MooFroo , NSV are for me much more proof of how well Im doing then scale victories

Like putting on that dress thats been too tight for too long and it hanging right, or having to go down a size if buying something new - I still automatically think Im a medium when now Im a small

Scales go up and down so I dont like to weigh very often

@mondaytosunday Im 60 this week and Im looking the best I have done for years. I now make the effort to change out of my leggings to leave the house, at least put on clean jeans and change into shoes and put a bit of make up on - still not 100% comfortable about wearing it mind. Before I started my journey Id be wearing a nightie in the house and leggings were getting dressed up :) But just looking put together makes me feel a lot more confident

@mondaytosunday thank you :)
love that story! Wish I was as focussed and disciplined as people like her - she’s deserved all the compliments she gets!

I’ve been putting on those gel patches under my eyes every nights and last night ended up putting some on the whole family and having an impromptu family pampering session - loved it!

@suki1964 definitely need to stay focussed on NSVs! I’ve never been that bothered by the numbers on a scale but more by how I look and feel

A little update

I’m still taking the weight loss injections

Not had a huge weight loss going into week 6 now, but my face looks thinner, my body looks thinner - even though measurements aren’t changing much yet either which is weird.

Had a big family event yesterday and I looked good! More importantly I felt good, got complimented on how I looked and was happy to take photos - been a while since I felt like that.

Things I did to look and feel good - some were way overdue things I’d been planning to do but timed them to fit around this party

• professional facial 3 days before - which was amazing
• dyed my hair and tinted me eyebrows a few days before - at home dye and tint kits
• haircut and blow dry the day before - new hairdresser and not a great job tbh but was good enough
• new dress, lovely bright colours and fit - and it wasn’t black! It was still a size 18 but more of a loose 18 and a flowing style which was really flattering.
• wore heels throughout the event and was in heaven when I put my flats on afterwards!
• I did my own make up, felt confident doing it and it looked good! I did a 1-1 session with a make up artist a few weeks ago and tried to do what she taught me - it was definitely better than what I’d usually do and made me more confident in my overall look

I got complimented by DH and a couple of others who said I looked beautiful - feels very shallow writing that but it felt good so just wanted to share!

Thanks again to everyone for sharing all their tips and tricks x

Its not shallow at all !!!

( I do get what you mean though )

When we have gone through a few years of having given up, stopped making an effort, becoming invisible , hiding away, to have the work you have done to be recognised in the way of compliments is a HUGE boost to the self esteem

Thanks @suki1964 - it really is a great boost isn’t it?!

now just need to keep at it!

Jones Road is the best.

That's such a lovely update @MooFroo. You feel good when you make an effort and other people notice and compliment you too, which makes you feel even better. Win win.

You are motivating me. I feel a bit run down right now. A facial is a lovely idea.

I got my first botox at 57 and am delighted with it.

I don't eat until 12pm - have lost a stone and a bit but it's taken months.

Get hair done professionally

These are my basics.

Could do with retinol and teeth whitened.

Sorry missed your update. Great to read.

Thank you @Meadowwild - it’s a journey! Have been at home dressed like a tramp for the last couple of days 🤣🤣

hope you get a facial booked in soon! Treatwell app or website is great to see reviews for local salons and get availability and special offers too

@Ghilliegums i only realised recently how important the basics are and how many people spend time and money on them to stay looking good consistently.

good on you for having your routine in place, sure you look fab on it!

Decades ago a friend gave me an Aveda facial as a present. It's the only time I've ever had one and it was bliss!. I looked them up and they do 20 minute freebies in my local department store. I might start with one of those.

Thanks. I'm at home all day today and loving wearing faded baggy tackies and a hoodie and no make up though!

@MooFroo just seen your update- your event sounds fab, and more importantly, you sound fab too! It is a boost to go out looking your best and feeling confident- I always feel like if I look the best I can, I can then concentrate on other people and fully focus on them instead of feeling awkward or self-conscious. I also love a pj or slobby day- it's just nice to know you can step it up when you need to! I'd be interested to know how your other measures such as health- so BP and diabetes end up working out in a few months time. Keep going!

Thanks soo much @Alwaystimeforacupoftea!
the outward beauty stuff definitely helping as I’m putting more effort into hair and make up when going out.

not doing as well with exercise and routine - came to a standstill tbh over last few weeks so plan is to get back on that this week and make a real effort.

taking Vitamins daily and have a light daily skin routine which is actually nice!

BP seems to be ok and under control and need to check blood sugar more regularly - machine stopped working so might need to get a new one

@MooFroo I’m so impressed by your progress! Keep it up! I am about a year younger than you and totally agree about the input that we need to look good at our age. I try to make it part of my daily routine, or to plan an evening every now and then to paint my toe nails or wax my legs. Most of the year no one sees my toes other than me or DH but it makes me feel pretty to have nice toes!

@Apparentlystillchilled aww thank you!

i honestly just didn’t get how much effort ‘normal’ people can put into just getting ready for a ‘normal day’ - and all hacks and tricks that are out there to help make you good- most of which I’ve ignored for many years. I was in bed last night using a Derma roller on my scalp and then the gua sha (??)) on my face- sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore 😆😆

Confession time - I painted my toe nails in July and still have the same nail varnish on - pretty much grown out now even with my little touch ups so definitely better add that to the list! 🤪

Oooh 2 compliments today from work colleagues I’ve not seen for 2 months - both told me I’d lost weight :)

yaay! I’m going to ignore the scales for a while and go by how I look and feel and stick with those NSV victories!

NSV 's are great, but jumping on the scales once a week keeps me focussed

Clothes do stretch a wee bit and I can be a size 10 kidding myself Im a size 8 very quickly if I leave it too long. I had family staying for 2 weeks, all bets were off, wine, snacks and take outs - 7lb gained. Its so bloody easy to slip back on

Im now doing that bit extra to reclaim those 7lb. Sure my clothes do still fit, but not as comfortable and its taken me a long time to get back to a healthy BMI, Im not going back. Its just so easy to get caught up in the " you are looking fantastic " comments and taking the eye off the ball - well it is for me.

Thanks @suki1964 and yup you’re so right! That extra weight can creep on sooo blooming quickly!

Just to clarify I am still weighing but should have explained it betters in that I’m not going to take the numbers to heart. I was getting disillusioned with small losses but I know there’s a difference and others are starting to see it as well.

but as we know it’s very easy to get complacent so the regular weighing definitely helps!

Don't be disillusioned with small losses. I'm a slow loser too but over time, slowly but surely, I've become more mobile and look much better. Some people do drop kg very easily early on, but not everyone, and if you have diabetes and health issues to start with, it might be your body takes time to adjust. I think skin also adjusts better if you lose slowly.

It sounds like you are looking better overall, and your spring in your step has been noticed, so don't get too despondent if you aren't immediately dramatically different.

Thank you so much @@Alwaystimeforacupoftea

I know you’re right, but it’s still one of those things! Will keep at it - I’ve had lazy days in between and time of the month throws me off track every single month!

know I am doing this for long term but just wish the weight loss would hurry up 🤣🤣