End of maintenance - what to do?

[Donewithitt]

DSS will be 18 this year, so his maintenance payments will stop. Which are around 1.5k per month (not including school fees)
We are pretty sure DSS's mum will KO about it, is there anyway to mitigate this?
DH is planning to write to her at the end of this month to let her know it's stopping, so it doesn't come as a shock and she has 10 months to prepare.
Currently we can afford to continue the payments and plan on diverting the money, minus the school fees into savings for DSS so he'll leave uni with a lump of 50k - which he can access for a house deposit.
Has anyone done anything similar?

Are you sure it's not ages 19 if in further education?

Is he still in full time education?
Presumably this is maintenance for him?
Unless your DSS is actually working and earning a living I think this is pretty unreasonable.

We just stopped it. I expected a huge fuss but we heard nothing and haven't from either of them since.

Christ , are you planning to cut the kids you actually parent off without a penny on their 18th birthday?

Eh, he's still in school! How is he to support himself? Or is that just his mums problem to sort??

Isn’t £1500pm more than the CM limit?

Just follow the rules on maintenance payments. And make sure it does not have to be paid until 19. £1.5k a month not including school fees sounds a lot to me.

This sounds completely wrong. If he is not capable of supporting himself why would support not continue as normal until he can? You don’t stop being a parent once someone turns 18.

Will she be able to keep their home? I can’t tell what the timings are, but I would try avoid an impact to his home until he is established at uni/whatever he does. Definitely wouldn’t stop before he finished school.

Maintenance is due until first Monday in September before uni if he’s still in full time education so you might be being a bit premature?

So you’d just cut him off without a penny early in the school year? Wow.

Agree. Sounds like you see it as a legal contract with his mother rather than what it is - a dad supporting his son!

It might be nice if some of the money you are going to save for him was actually given to him whilst at uni to make his study years easier. Even a few hundred a month will make a big difference and might there not be a parental contribution expected anyway to supplement the loan? Can't expect his mum to pay it all.

Not sure why everyone appears to be getting your case. I have read your OP as your DSS will turn 18 in the first part of this year, therefore, quite rightly, you will no longer be obliged to pay maintenance to his mum from August, as he will be starting university, and you are concerned that she will kick off.

It sounds like you are planning to still help him financially, but directly which is as it should be.

Some of that money should go to him during uni though if needed.

Because they explicitly say, in the opening post, that they will be keeping the money and saving it for him when he finishes uni? So they won’t be funding his living costs once they stop paying? Currently we can afford to continue the payments and plan on diverting the money, minus the school fees into savings for DSS so he'll leave uni with a lump of 50k - which he can access for a house deposit.

The mum will 'kick off' that the father will no longer help support their joint child the second he turns 18 rather than when he actually finishes education and can contribute?!? Of course she will, because that would be a fairly abhorrent thing to do. Unless she won't have to feed him when he comes home from Uni, will he be staying with you then?

I would just write to confirm she realises this and follow CM rules. However, your DSS will need funding through uni so it makes no sense to save it all for when he finishes- could you pay him a set amount directly each month to get him through uni then save the rest for after? My DD is going to uni this year, I will stop receiving CM for her this August (only £170 a month), then when she goes to uni she will need subsidising so I will then be paying her approx £200 a month and hoping her Dad does the same- although he has no obligation to I would hope he will also support her at least a similar amount to what he was paying in maintenance.

I just googled this out of curiosity - and the government website says you need to pay child maintenance until children are 20 if they stay in education. It sounds like he'll be at uni, still in education, so I think you'll need to pay until he's 20

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That was directed more towards the posters that were saying you can't stop until they are 19, don't stop until they finish school, etc.

Also the OP was asking how to handle it with his mum, and I was pointing out it doesn't need to be handled with her. She should be aware of when payments will stop without being told and any financial support is then between DSS and his dad.

That's a really shitty thing to do. You should be paying it until he finishes college/sixth form and if he goes to university you should be financially supporting him through that. Or is that just for his mum to deal with and no longer your problem?

I did the same but after reading again it says full-time education A-level or below so presumably if he’s going to be at uni then no obligation.

Please continue to pay until he moves out

Yes there is no legal obligation to pay at University. My ex stopped paying for the children the august after their 18th birthday and does not give any money to them directly either and this is perfectly legal.