End of maintenance - what to do?

[Donewithitt]

DSS will be 18 this year, so his maintenance payments will stop. Which are around 1.5k per month (not including school fees)
We are pretty sure DSS's mum will KO about it, is there anyway to mitigate this?
DH is planning to write to her at the end of this month to let her know it's stopping, so it doesn't come as a shock and she has 10 months to prepare.
Currently we can afford to continue the payments and plan on diverting the money, minus the school fees into savings for DSS so he'll leave uni with a lump of 50k - which he can access for a house deposit.
Has anyone done anything similar?

If his son is moving out to go to uni I would definitely stop paying but would look to support him directly.
But yes, legally you no longer have to pay child maintenance

I got it written in to my consent order, that after Alevels, should my girls go on to uni, he will then give them directly the same CM I get until they finish their first degree. Now I'm thinking about it, ill ask him to pay me half their costs too when they're home in between as I forgot about that at the time we did the consent order. Which he will do as he's not a twat.

Will he not need some financial assistance whilst at uni rather than it all being saved
un he’s finished.

Child maintenance within a consent order is only legally binding for 12 months. Then only CMS levels are enforceable.

I thought it was 19 if still in full time education. Regardless if he’s not 18 until after September then he’s still got a full academic year of collage after this one. Maintenance still needs paying.

If mum has to downsize as she can no longer afford to keep a spare room available for him if he goes to uni will you be providing him with one?

If mum is still being expected to continue supporting DSS then you should give the money either to his mother to continue to be able to do so or directly to DS and he can pay Housekeeping towards his share of the bills, his part of council tax if he is added to the bill etc whilst she keeps a roof over his head. If you are happy for him to move in with you instead then crack on.

Just because the legal obligation ends doesn’t mean the moral one does.

Once this £1.5K is withdrawn, is his Mum making up the shortfall?

If so, your husband wants to take a long hard look at himself.

If there’s no shortfall to make up as the 18 year old now has a well paying job and has become independent, then that’s different.

They are discussing stopping maintenance not all support? Maybe the school fees portion will now fund DS directly and rest is being saved. Presumably the son can choose where he stays during hols and if with Dad then Dad will support him then too. Would people really expect the Dad of a son at uni to keep paying the Mum?! I’d expect him to support DS directly.

Did that leave you worse off as you had to still provide for the kids?

Yes. We are in Wales luckily where all students get full maintenance loans but I still have expenses in the holidays. One of my children isn't a student, so no loan there, but is yet to find a job.

As dss is at school (you mention school fees), child maintenance is usually paid until 31 August of the school year that he turns 18. I hope that you’re not in the UK and planning to stop paying in November of his year 13 year.

If he’s going into full time employment, uni or an apprenticeship in 10 months then ignore my comment.

did you read that, £50k savings?! Hardly cutting off Jesus.

Surely you stop paying when he finishes full-time education? Also, I don't like the sound of this because you get to look like the good guys giving him a load of money in one go when his mother has to support him throughout. Her contribution won't be noticed in comparison to a £50,000 payment.

You sound similar to my father and stepmother. Where I grew up, maintenance stopped at 18.

My 18th birthday fell in the middle of a week - they calculated the last payment down to the day and made a pro rata payment.

For goodness sake step up and keep paying. Where's he living during university holidays?

Reading comprehension is worsening by the day.

Why is everyone assuming they are cutting the son off? There may be savings in place already for uni, maybe not but I'm assuming so if they are going to save the maintenance for him

Because it explains they plan on stopping paying maintenance but diverting the money into savings for once he’s left uni. So they will save the money but it won’t help him through uni.

Also if the ‘10 months’ is his birthday then it skips maintenance for the last year of collage

I would plan for a percentage of this money to be paid to him during uni (directly) as well as the remaining put into long term savings. There is a living expenses estimator for each university online. I definitely would stop paying his mother directly. She should have been planning for this anyway.

If he’s 18 in 10 months’ time, he’s presumably in Y12 at the moment. After he turns 18, he’ll then still have another 7 months ‘til A levels are done. Are you saying that you won’t be paying maintenance for the last 7 months of his A levels? He will need food, clothes etc? Maybe even a holiday after A levels. Is his mum just supposed to pay everything?

also, if you divert the money to savings to give to him after uni, how will he pay for uni? It’s hideously expensive. £9.5k per year in fees, accommodation ££££, food etc. You won’t get any change from 50k these days for uni.

I don’t think I’ve understood

he ceases to be a dependant at his child benefit termination date ie the last day in August.

What that means is that there is no obligation to pay maintenance to your stepsons mother.

What your partner pays and to whom after that is down to him.

If his mother is going to kick off then I suggest that she hasnt seen this coming and planned accordingly

Please get your husband to talk to his son too. It was agreed my dad pays maintenance until 21 and paid it to me directly after 18 (i still gave some to my mum). He stopped it early because he was legally allowed. It really affected my university and i struggled financially for years while he had loads of money. Dont let it affect his relationship with his son

he will have £50k in savings by the time he finishes uni! he's not being cut off, there doesnt seem like there will be a shortfall, doesnt sound like he will struggle with money, just that the obligatory £1500 will stop being paid to his mother and will be diverted to savings for him which i think is a great plan.

How did you determine he won’t struggle for money while at uni? I don’t think that information is available

Maybe I’m missing something but not sure what good a £50k lump sum is when they leave uni, if they can’t afford to live whilst they are at uni.

I think it’s being done so that the kid will say “wow dad is so generous, he gifted me £50k” without realising that actually mum will have supported him with his living costs all that time, which potentially could equate to more than £50k.