End of maintenance - what to do?

[Donewithitt]

DSS will be 18 this year, so his maintenance payments will stop. Which are around 1.5k per month (not including school fees)
We are pretty sure DSS's mum will KO about it, is there anyway to mitigate this?
DH is planning to write to her at the end of this month to let her know it's stopping, so it doesn't come as a shock and she has 10 months to prepare.
Currently we can afford to continue the payments and plan on diverting the money, minus the school fees into savings for DSS so he'll leave uni with a lump of 50k - which he can access for a house deposit.
Has anyone done anything similar?

For all the posters that can’t read

“DH is planning to write to her at the end of this month to let her know it's stopping, so it doesn't come as a shock and she has 10 months to prepare.”

Given that the £1.5k is (not including school fees) I suspect as school fees will not be paid from September some of these maybe diverted in to supporting DSS at Uni. Saving the £1.5k for DSS to have after Uni seems sensible.

@Donewithitt I think what you are proposing sounds reasonable and what a parent would do if they had a high income. Many are not in such a fortunate position.

I hope my assumption about school fees money being used to support DSS at uni is correct. If not then you may need to reflect whether splitting the £1.5k into savings and living expenses might be more pragmatic.

I do think giving 10 months notice is a good idea. I can imagine DSS’ Mum may KO. Being fair where will DSS spend holidays? There are always costs that are incurred maintaining a home for DC to return to for holidays as well as expenses when home. I would consider if tapering might be a way to mitigate e.g. £250 to Mum, £500 to DSS and £750 savings.

Wow does this mean my 19 year old in his 2nd year at uni shouldn’t be costing me anything?!

i'm making an asumption that the mother and father both pay for private education, so the mother doesnt seem to be finacially struggling. given that OPs partner is considering placing £1500 into a seperate savings fund instead of paying his ex wife i assume further that OP's partner would help his son if he was financially struggling

My father sent me the child maintenance money every month during university. He took it so seriously he agreed for it to go into the court order. I needed that money in order to be able to complete my education.

Thanks - this has been really interesting. To clarify a few points.
DSS will still receive his allowance, he'll continue to receive this until he is working FT.
School fees will be diverted to uni fees.
We bought him a car recently, we cover some of the running costs.
DSS works and plans to work through uni.
Currently he wants to go away to uni.
He stays between ours and his mum's at the min.
I thought we were being pretty fair, clearly not!

wow can you adopt me pls?

Agree with this.. the thread turned into an MN pile on

The rules are you stop paying when child is 18 and no longer in FT ed

Totally fair to stop paying his mum in the August after he is 18. As long as you support him financially during university, which it sounds like you plan on doing.

Exh paid his last payment at the end of July and has not given DS a penny towards university. He can afford it as he has a mortgage free home and a well paid job.

That is not correct. There is still an obligation to maintain a child in full time university education. However the maintenance should go to the child not the parent. It no longer goes via the CMS tho so it's harder to claim.

I sued my dad for maintenance at university and was awarded a regular sum. He was a selfish man who paid nothing when I was young and I got sick of him.

To be fair £1500 a month is a huge amount of money. It doesn't cost that to raise a child.

Id be surprised if that was still valid, as neither parent has an obligation to support a child at university. The resident parent can also refuse to do so if they choose. Plenty of students get minimum loans due to parental income, but the parents are not obligated to top up.

This is more than fair. There is no need to continue to pay £1500 a month if DSS is at university getting this level of financial support from you

@Almostwelsh there is no legal obligation to pay for university.

The last payment should cover the whole of August and it's payable until the child is 19 if they're still in tertiary education (A level equivalent or below)

"Id be surprised if that was still valid, as neither parent has an obligation to support a child at university. The resident parent can also refuse to do so if they choose. Plenty of students get minimum loans due to parental income, but the parents are not obligated to top up"

That's not correct. Children in full education at university under 25 may apply to the court for maintenance from their parents (the parents may offer that they live in their household but the court will not necessarily force the child to accept that). As I said, I obtained a maintenance order against my father (I lived away with neither parent). I did receive legal aid then - it wouldn't be available now. Parents are liable to support their children but it is more difficult to enforce now.

That's not correct. They are.

Are you joking?

Absolutely this.

Also are you interested in adopting me?

Not if they’re in further education > university. I’m sure his dad will help during those years directly to his child

The timeline is not clear. Does he turn 18 in October/November in year 13 and his maintenance payments from his dad to his mum will just stop and his mother will have to pay the difference?

He is still going to be in school. He will still need to eat even though he is legally an adult.

Yabu. Your dss should get some of the money whilst at university His mum should get some of the money too to pay for him when he’s at her house and I would still pay that cash directly. Obviously this is once he’s at university as the obligation to pay maintenance continues as is until the September after her turns 18.

More than fair. Should have put this in the OP to save the, how very dare you! comments

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/when-child-maintenance-stops

this website says 20 but it doesn’t talk about advanced training. I’d be surprised if uni was covered though, because that’s what the loans are for (they should be able to cover it all theoretically).

I'm surprised at the poster who was able to sue her dad for maintenance in uni though. Never heard of that before.

Indeed legal, but totally shitty. I do hope the DC do understand who has really supported them.

Well the money should stop being given to the mum, have a discussion with him and try and figure out how much he needs ( given that he is also working and if his mother is also capable of giving him something ) give him what seems reasonable and put the rest aside for him to access when he is older