Yes I knew he had kids

[chaticat]

But I didn't realise when we had our own child I'd be left to do so much of the parenting by myself.

He does their washing and his. I do mine and LO's. He had to travel 3 hours to see them and come back so I'm left alone during what would for others be "family time".

I find myself thinking I'd be better off separating as then he'd see LO every other weekend one on one and give them some attention! The DSC arrive and out comes the red carpet and LO is left to me.

You went into this eyes wide open. Do you not want him to parent his other kids?

How old is your child? Could he be arranging activities that he could take all his children to?

I don't think you're out of order by asking for at least half the weekend to be family time with everyone. You could all go to the beach, the zoo, the market etc.

I have older children and a baby- the reality is that the baby comes along with whatever the older children are doing.

Why should it be different for a half sibling?

This isn't about him not parenting his other kids it's about him parenting ALL his kids

Of course he does

Wow.

Thank you that's it. It's Disney dad. Great phrase.

You think they'd appreciate me turning up with the LO who wouldn't stay still and would want to run around? No they wouldn't.

What is he like the 12 days a fortnight when he is not seeing his other kids?

I guess what I'm wondering is if any other stepmums/dad's feel like this?

What? I didn't even take my kids to see each other's school plays! Let alone their half siblings.

Not great. Works late. Grumpy. He goes to see them on the weeks they aren't here so that means he's off again for the 3 hour trip

How old are all the kids?

Are you a stepmum then? I don't think my stepkids would appreciate it if I treated them like my own.

You're coming across quite combative op, you came here for advice, it's your DP you're cross with, try not snapping at people and maybe something positive can be found here.

Sorry.

"Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support."

And then people call me all sorts of names. Thats why I'm snappy. Sorry.

Not sure if I reading this right. So are you saying your partner has his kids at your home every other weekend BUT instead of spending time ALL together, he makes plans for the step kids and leaves you and yours alone? If so I can see why you're annoyed..how will your child bond with their half siblings and wheres the family time? He should spend quality one on one time with his other kids too but not every single time. Its like 2 separate families

Yes. Not ALL weekend. But like today he's taking them to the cinema. So that in my mind deliberately excludes me and our Preschooler

@chaticat

Do you talk to him about it?

Ask him to make plans that include everyone some of the time.

He goes to see them on the weeks they aren't here so that means he's off again for the 3 hour trip

Not sure I’m understanding this right. Are you saying your DSC come to yours to stay EOW, but he goes to visit them on the weekends they aren’t at yours? So he’s seeing the DSC every single weekend one way or another, but not spending any weekends with you and your shared DC?

It’s kids at different stages isn’t it? We used to split - one of us with 2 younger ones, other with eldest severely disabled one because he couldn’t access 90% of the things his siblings wanted to do.

what happens the weekends they’re not with you? You said he drives up to see them? Where does he stay?

i don’t see a 90 minute journey x 2 as that much tbh.

I think it's difficult finding things that a preschooler and older kids would all enjoy. What sorts of things would you like to do all together? Have you suggested doing things all together?

No sorry he goes mid week when they aren't here at the weekend

Who has called you all sorts of names? Your boyfriend/husband being grumpy and a barely present father to his other kids sounds crap. Does he enhance your life and make it fun?

Do you do things as a family on the weekend he doesn't have his kids? If not, why not?