Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

I think the OP would be very different if her DH had said “the kids really want to go, I’m sorry, how can we find another way to spoil you, what about breakfast in bed before I go and a roast for the evening meal when I get back”

Yup

She has every right to change her mind doesn't mean everyone has to go pandering to her. Her changing her mind last minute affects other people. What kind of mum even has to think about whether they want to spend mother's day with their kids or not?

Edited to delete my post as I quoted the wrong person.

Personally a child-free Mother’s Day sounds heavenly to me!!!

I spend the other 364 days a year with them so I’m not sure missing out on one day would make me a bad mother.

A day free of mothering duties would be bliss!!

Lovely message to all adoptive parents out there. They're not real mum's. Ok then.

As the mother of the step kids in this scenario, I can see your frustration and if their mum had repeatedly said she was fine not seeing her kids on the day and now has last minute changed her mind, I'd fully be expecting to go and pick them up myself, not have my ex-husband drive them to me. I'd have been the one changing my mind last minute, so I'd be doing the leg work to make it happen.

Just have your special day on Saturday. Its not the like the date on the calendar actually means anything.If his kids are hours away he can't be having all that much contact, so I actually think it's really important he puts himself out for his kids and their mum occasionally. You want undivided attention, don't go for a man with an existing family.

What would you be doing if stepchildren were with you?

What is DH doing whilst DSC are with mum?

Yes it does it's mothering sunday. It might not mean anything to you but it does to me. It means years of tradition where I visited my mum and she visited her mum. Where we took a day up and down the country to say bloody well done mums

Having a nice roast dinner or something. You know like people do on mothering Sunday.

How would I know what DH is doing while they are with mum? He'll be driving back home then we'll have the afternoon to do I don't know what.

If they are teenagers why does she need to be home Saturday evening for him to drop them off? Or if that's really impossible then she should be responsible for transport arrangements on Sunday as she is changing the plan

If they see their mum for lunch, you can have a lovely afternoon tea or evening meal. No need for a drama.

So is your mum no longer around?

Is MIL around? If she is would you moan if he went to see her?

Can we just leave my mum out of it please.

I would be surprised if he went to see her given she lives the other side of the country. I wouldn't moan about him seeing her I would moan if he didn't say hey this is what I'm doing do you want to come as its mother's day and we can all do something nice together

Personally it's important for me that my DH shows some appreciation for the things I do for our family. I was childless when we met. I now have my DSD more than her own mother and my DSS full-time. I do a lot for the kids. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being a stepmum but ultimately it is my choice to do what I do and I'm not obligated to. So yes, I absolutely want to be recognised for that by the kids but also by my DH. His life would be a lot more difficult if I wasn't as involved as I am.

And in a world where I'm told I'm not a real mum because I didn't birth a child, it's nice to be reminded that the people that matter the most to me see me as a real mum.

Simple solution - ex picks them up. Her choices, take the consequences.

Completely get you OP. And as usual some very bizarre comments, including some that don't appear to have read anything beyond the headline. As to those geniuses who suggest simply moving the Mother's Day celebrations - shouldn't that apply doubly so to the ex who has caused the whole clusterfuck?

I can.

This isn't about them going. This is about them going with no thought being given by my husband to if that's OK with me given its mother's day and I am mother to one of his children.

This is different to my scenario but I just wanted to say good job, I couldn't do that. You are a true hero and yes you deserve to be celebrated on mothers day and any one who says otherwise can fuck off

Honestly it's not a big deal unless you mane it one. Just "celebrate" in the morning or the day before. It's not something to get wound up about

So no breakfast in bed for OP because his cow of an ex HAS to go partying the night before?

I bet my last Christmas Ferrero Roche that the dm is too hungover to have them Sunday...
Will come back to check..

Ultimately this isn't about Mother's Day. Ultimately this is about her DH putting his ex before before his wife. Dropping everything because the ex has changed her mind last minute.

I assume this isn't the first time with has happened and rightly so, OP is pissed off at being the bottom of his priorities again. It might seem like a overreaction to some people (not to me) but it's probably an accumulation of various other events where the ex has said jump and he's asked how high.

I imagine so, she's going out and wants them back in time for lunch but not early. So yeah Ferrero Roche is safe

Hang on. She's not a cow.