Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

She could have had her kids for dinner. It is thoughtless to use up 4 hours in middle of day.

Tell dh your are disappointed and cant happen future years, she gets the children back early if she likes or usual time, not middle if the day. This year make mothers day Saturday.

He can't go early Sunday say 8.30 and then you book a lunch out at 2.30?

I'm just going to get takeaway

Mother is a biological reality.

You may do parenting but if you didn't gestate a child you aren't a mother.

What pn earth are you talking about?

There is a step child.

And then there is OPs own home grown child

Eh? They have a child together but I’d also argue that you do not have to gestate a child to be a mother - adoption, fostering etc etc - but let’s not derail the thread with that.

You're telling me that mum's who have adopted their child aren't mothers?

That's really offensive.

And for what it's worth (not a lot) I am the biological mother of my child.

Read the OP properly

The poster is not complaining about her step children not being there, she is complaining (with good reason) about the last minute change of plan meaning she is stuck alone with the 3 year old she “gestated” (nice) with no one to cook her a roast or even collect her takeaway.

Thanks. It's OK I have delivery options

Why does he have to drop them off? Can't she pick them up since it is her that has changed schedules?

We are having our Mother's Day on Tuesday. We both have to work Sunday. Can't you just move the day?

Hoorah for deliveroo!

OP, I am sorry that no one is considering you in this.

I’m with you OP, this is annoying. All the “can’t you just do this” responses miss the point.

No I'm not moving the day. I don't need to. It is mother's day that day. I wouldn't move my birthday.

WagaMAMAs might help hehe

I absolutely get your frustration. I get so pissed off with all the pious responses to people wanting a nice mother's day where they are appreciated on MN (shock horror people are different and want different things). In our home we take care of the respective parent on that day, indulge them and show them thanks for their part in helping parent our DD and DSC. My DSC's mum was always really changeable and difficult around mother's day too but thankfully my DH has a backbone and we also live much closer. Of course DSC should be with their mum but your DH needs to be clear this requires compromise on her front, either she doesn't go out Sat or gets a babysitter for her own kids to enable this. I would be hurt too that he isn't thinking about your needs. An open conversation is needed where you are clear about your needs, how he responds will tell you a lot.

That is annoying. However, you can choose to ruin Mother's Day for yourself by being a bad mood about it, or you can choose not to.

Express your annoyance to your DH and say he needs to plan better next year. You'd like breakfast in bed on Sunday, and a chance for a lovely long bath while he looks after the kids. And you're looking forward to him cooking you a late lunch when he gets back.

He's going to be gone for 4 hours, that's not the whole day, and there really isn't any need for you to be petulantly saying "I'll order a takeaway". There's 3 meals in the day, your chance for Mother's Day celebrations don't have to be at lunchtime.

Your dh sounds useless and I'm sorry 😞 he should be telling his ex that either he drops them back Saturday or she comes collects them Sunday. I'm guessing though that he marches to her tune on a regular basis

Do people’s partners actually make a fuss of them on Mother’s Day?? Mine doesn’t and I wouldn’t expect him to. I’m not his mother!! I’m very happy with a card from my DD and if I want to go out for the day with her I’m happy to sort it out myself. Couldn’t you do something nice with your DC?

I get it OP.

You make so many sacrifices and it seems like you're put in second place again when you should have been prioritised for once.

Emotions sound like they are running too high at present, so probably best to have a chat with your DH when you're feeling less frustrated about it all, as he doesn't get it (if he did, he wouldn't have behaved like this in the first place).

Mothering Sunday has always been a Sunday roast

I don't really get the angst about partners not being around on Mothers Day. It's about Mother's (in whatever sense that means to you) and their children (however old they are).
And yes, I don't feel the need to do anything for Fathers Day - that's for the Dads and kids.
I guess it's around expectations and communication. Sounds like you tried to sort this out OP but plans changed.

Well she will have to stay in, if she wants her children Mother’s Day so their dad can drop them off. She can’t have it both ways.

but your foot down now or she’ll keep walking over you. He takes them home Saturday evening or they spend the day with you

No, it's about appreciating the mothers in your life. Not just having a day for a woman to be with her child/ren- which lets be honest we do most days. OPs DH isn't appreciating the mother of his youngest child. In fact, by buggering off for 5 hours to take his eldest to their mothers, he's doing the exact opposite.

Risking backlash here but a day unexpectedly dsc - free sounds like a win.... And yes leave them to it for Father's day... Hopefully he will have all of his dc that day and all the chaos that that brings... Make an evening meal on Sunday...