Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

I agree with a previous poster - don’t turn this into a war when it doesn’t need to be as it will serve no purpose except to ruin the day and create a bad atmosphere.

He’s not going to be gone for the whole day so just get him to make you a nice breakfast in bed before he leaves and then you can all do something together when he gets back.

It really isn’t a huge crisis.

I think you are just being intransigent because you are sulking that he has not said no to the ex. It is really not a big deal to move a day if you must have a whole uninterrupted day.

It is a few hours though, it needn't ruin your day unless you want to sulk. He could go early and be back 12 ish to do whatever you like. He could do you a nice breakfast, then go and be back to do something in the afternoon, make you a roast etc.

We have a sports fixture for eldest dc, so partner will take him to the match leaving me with the crazy toddler. Then crazy toddler will get picked up and they will all go to mils. In the afternoon we are having a walk and then I will get a roast dinner that I will need to supervise. It is all grand. I just want the card dc will make and to have a bit of family time.

Thank you yes that's it. As a stepparent you do have to accept there will be little sacrifices

I'm not moving the day. I wouldn't move christmas for the stepkids so I'm not moving mothers day

Yes that's annoying but it wasn't him who changed arrangements. Next time say you won't have the SC Mother's Day. Unless there is a pattern of her saying jump and him saying how high that is a bigger problem. Living so far away is the biggest issue. Did she move and if so why can't she pick them up?

Have you told him you are upset. However restaurants are fully booked and will be busy and noisy so not great for a baby. Can he cook in the evening for you? What about your mum? Can you spend the day with her?

Have you asked him why her Mother’s Day wishes are more important to him than yours?

It's not really about the alternative arrangements I'll be fine. I can buy my own flowers etc.

It's the hang on..DH hasn't even CONSIDERED that that is going to affect my mother's day

FML83
Horses for courses. Your view of what Mothers Day is just different to mine.

So you have a DH problem. Does he know you are upset about it? I would have a conversation and if he just dismisses your feelings then you know you will always come second to his ex which is awful.

He says he has to take them back at some point in the day anyway. Which I get

Just swap the contact weekend with the following one?

Yes that's what was meant to happen and is what has happened before. But mum wasn't bothered this year and is going out on Saturday

I can buy my own flowers etc.

Surely that can happen before the big drive.

He should have considered you and how it will affect your day.

I've always had Mother's Day breakfast rather than lunch because when they are little they are excited in the morning and they can get involved in the breakfast making from quite a young age.

Just get them up early and out the door....

Can you not meet in the middle and save half the drive?
The mother ofSCchangedthe arrangements at short notice- surely she willenjoy driving with her own children for a couple of hours.
Book into a lovely lunch place and wait for DSC to be brought backagain.
Otherwise, ask DH to drop the kids off straight after breakfast and don't pict tham up until very late or the next day.
Can their Mum drop them to school?

Why can’t you do something on Saturday instead? Im working Mother’s Day, so we’re going out on Saturday 😁

You don’t want to hear this because you’re unhappy about the situation and feel hard done by but this is the most constructive comment I’ve read on here
That is annoying. However, you can choose to ruin Mother's Day for yourself by being a bad mood about it, or you can choose not to.

This is life, it doesn’t always go according to plan, sometimes these days aren’t the way they’re portrayed in advertising. If Mothers Day has to be on Sunday and you have to have roast dinner, just have the roast dinner in the evening. It doesn’t need to be this hard.

how thoughtless of him. I’d expect her to pick them seeing as it was her who wanted to changed the plans!

I'm getting it out the way now don't worry

Presumably this came about because his children want to see their mother on mother's day? He was asking the wrong person.

In any case you're spending mother's day with your child and he won't be gone all day.

If she can't have them from Saturday evening so she sees them Sunday (Mother's Day) then she needs to cancel her plans. Or she can drive up to you and collect her children. I wouldn't do anything special for Father's Day.

I'm not getting involved in the logistics of the stepchildren I have enough to deal with

If he left at 8am he’d be back in time for lunch. I get it is hard to get teens out of bed but if they want to see their mum, it’s a sacrifice.

Either they're dropped off first thing in the morning or the night before. That's her options. He's asked her multiple times and she's changed her mind last minute. Her last minute mind change shouldn't affect your entire day.

Yes you knew he had kids but he also chose to have kids with you and to be in a relationship with you so he has to accommodate everyone fairly.