Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

You are spending mothers day with your child, whats the issue? Be grateful i wont even see mine.

She’s spending the day with the child she birthed herself??

so I get that you feel unappreciated and that makes sense to discuss with your DH but the idea that it must be celebrated on the day is honestly a little bit childish and is likely to make him dismissive of your very feelings. You’re not offering any compromise. My husband is a doctor and I’ve lost count of how many events we have had to celebrate on other days because he’s been on call/full day shift etc. peak Covid when he had to do 24 hours Xmas day and we couldn’t travel to any other family - I could’ve thrown strop but I didn’t, I made it special for kids and we celebrated the day after and it was fine. We survived. He’s working this Mother’s Day too….. so zero pampering for me on the day!

exactly my thoughts!!

If she originally said to stick to the normal arrangement then she can come and collect them her Mothers' Day she suddenly wants.

Then she can collect the child she 'birthed', she wasn't bothered originally! 'Birth' is not a verb.

I’d get dh to take dsc early so he’s back for 2pm and go for a late Sunday lunch or dinner.

so many posters totally missing the point. Mother’s Day is about being thanked so a little fuss like a lie in and a day off from the drudge. Yes, spending with dc but also dh stepping up and showing appreciation for what to do. Really sad the number of posters who don’t get this level of appreciation. It’s not like you’re demanding a designer handbag and diamonds.

That's what me and DH have always done tbh. DS is grown now, but except for when he was very small, Mother's/Father's Day has always been just DS and the parent, one on one time.

Is this about Mother's Day, or because you feel like the ex wife was inconsiderate for changing her mind at short notice, and messed up how you thought the day was going to go? It's okay to have feelings about that.

The reading comprehension is wild on this thread. The OP isn't asking for solutions or saying Mother's Day is ruined. She's just upset that she is never shown any consideration when other people are making decisions that impact on her too.

Hi @JudgeJ birthed was actually a quote from a pp. Not a term I’d use myself.

But in fairness it is actually a verb.

He's putting his kids over you, they want to be with their mum so he's bringing them to see her, you have your child with you, so he probably thinks you're happy. Does he know how unhappy you are?

Up to you how you respond to him not spending the whole day with you, if you feel it's a LTB issue for you, at least you can take comfort from the fact that he'll probably prioritise your child after a split.

Why shouldn’t your partner’s ex get to spend Mother’s Day with her children? She is their mum after all!

He’s her husband and if you’ve even bothered to read the opening post never mind the follow ups you’ll see the ex didn’t want to have her kids for Mother’s Day and has now changed her mind. Posting stupid crap like that reflects poorly on you.

Nailed it 👌

I don’t see the problem!
What’s so bad about spending a few hours with your DC? What do you think your DH should be doing in this time? Don’t you like your DC company?
Can’t understand the fuss being made about a commercial event.

Why do you need to spend it with your DH?

Just reading this thread is so depressing. The amount of posts like 'why would he do anything? She's not his mum!' I don't get it. First of all for the obvious reasons, like how is a fucking 5 year old going to treat their mum to lunch?

But more importantly, I grew up in a house where my dad celebrated my mother and was grateful for everything she did for us, and absolutely ensured she got some well earned rest and relaxation on mothers day.

Just wanted to say I 100% hear you. And YANBU.

If it's soooooo important that his ex has a special Mother's Day, why hasn't he twigged that perhaps you'd like one and deserve one too?

It's all about her and you are a footnote in your own family.

So if she was asked multiple times and then she asked him to yes drop them back on mothers day why are you saying that she said jump and he said how high?

I don't understand why you can't spend time with your child on Sunday. Surely DH will just take step children to see their mum and leave your child with you.

Not sure why DH would need to be at home. It's not spouses' day! Just have a play or go for a walk with your child.

When it comes to couples though it does often tend be about the spouse showing their appreciation and doing something nice for them, as opposed to the mother doing something with the kids.

Mothers day would often be seen as more of a day off certain mothering responsibilities, what many mothers would like is for their partner to take the child/children to the park or playground and give them some alone time!

But it does sound like the dad can still spoil the OP a bit anyway if he wants to even doing the trip the other kids off!

Except she hasn't arranged any events around everyone else before, she's literally said she doesn't do that.
This is the first time that this has happened on mothers day and her partner will be back in the early afternoon.

She's making a fuss after this happened one time!! So it's the exact opposite of what you're saying and the martyr complex doesn't work here!

Why can't she meet halfway if she's demanding she has them back for mother's day? That would cut travel time for him in half.

It doesn't sound like she's demanding at all.
The Ops partner asked her multiple times.

Also the mum is going out on Saturday night so perhaps she'd be over the limit in the morning.