Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

My sons work in the hospitality industry and DD is 300 miles away. Sons will be insuring other mothers and families enjoy themselves. I haven't had a Mother's Day with all of my children for 20 years. We sometimes make it another day but hard to get them all together other than Christmas Day. I look back and treasure some of my mornings of shared toast with lots and lots of jam and lukewarm tea made by the kids. DH worked away so often wasn't here to help steer them. DS2 was extremely pleased with himself giving me a huge present once - containing a deep fat fryer...so I wouldn't burn myself making them chips on Friday nights. His first pay packet was put towards this gift along with elder brothers contribution. The other two were too young to contribute but were on duty with washing up. My most memorable Mother's Day.

Just go out somewhere with your child and do something you would like to do. Or make you day another day.

So what is the problem with them leaving at 7 in the morning - i am sure they are all used to getting up at that time on a school/work day,

then he will be home by 11 am,
that way his other children will be at home with their mother

and he has plenty of time to take you out for lunch, or cook lunch for you

as long as no one is getting confused with husbands and wedding anniversaries and mothers and children...

as I guess you are at home that day with your child

I would take his number plate but ask him also if he was a dealer he would of probably moved on knowing you are watching him. With the change of cars he could be undercover watching someone that lives near you. We had something like this with two women they would park each end of road which is long and sometimes just round the corner. The odd time they would be in one car together so I asked them they showed id and they were watching a neighbour doing something wrong. I never found out what neighbour but if this man cannot show id I would ring 101.

To be fair that sounds like bliss 😆 send baby off in the car with dad.

@Louise303 Have you posted on the wrong thread, or have I missed a huge drip feed/plot twist!

I have sorry wrong thread.

You sound like you are childish. His children spending time with their mum on mothers day is what should happen. And you will spend it with your child. In reality your husband should be going to see his mum, as you are not his mother

Can't read good can you? Go back, read all of the OP's responses and then reread your question... you'll be able to provide yourself with your own answer.

Yes it is.

I would just like to say to you thank you for seeing them as your children too as well your responsibility. Thank you for caring like they you’re own.
i hope that DH sees this and appreciates how much this upsets you and hopefully will do something to show appreciation.

Great. That’s either your choice or possibly down to circumstances.

Its common for fathers to have a hand in making the day nice for the mum of their children, as I’m sure you know. I’m not sure why that seems to bother some people so much. If something is important to your partner, you acknowledge that if possible and make it nice.

My birthday is my own, I’m quite capable of making the day nice for myself, my partner didn’t have any part in the day I was born 40 something years ago, but he still takes his part in making my birthday nice. And actually, when you look at Mother’s Day, partners do have a part in making you be a mother, you’re a mother because you have children together, so there’s more reason to be involved on Mother’s Day than your birthday really. Yet how many people would see their birthday as ok for a partner to ignore and make no effort for?

Can’t he see them on the Saturday then drop them off Saturday night so they wake up with their mum? 🤷🏼‍♀️ isn’t that the simplest solution?

If you reads OPs replies, you’ll see that the ex is going out on Saturday night.

I get you OP.

Maybe some of us who feel more strongly about mother’s day maybe do so as we don’t feel appreciated the rest of the year.

My DH buggered off to football last year (6 hour trip) and left me alone with my 2 year old. I got a card in the morning, nothing else and no plan to celebrate another time. I ended up being invited to lunch with my friend out of pity. It would have been fine if he had planned something for another time.

People who are saying ‘you’re with your DC and that’s what matters’ are also missing the point. We’d like a nice treat or an actual break from what we do every other single day, especially when our kids are tiny and have no idea what mother’s day is etc. 2 and 3 year olds are nightmares.

I also want to say your spa on father’s day isn’t a bad idea. Although he’s a lot better now, my DH was pretty awful during my first mat leave, and I did indeed fuck off a massage and facial on father’s day that year.

I don’t live near my mum but i’ll be sending her a card and a voucher, we’ll be having a belated lunch the following week.

Just go out somewhere with your child and do something you would like to do. Or make you day another day.

Yeah things like this that people are not maybe getting for some reason. Depending on the age of the child, this doesn’t really work does it. It’s never about what YOU want to do.

Nicely worded, thanks.

Does him going out at night prevent him dropping the kids off before he goes out?

The options seem to be seeing them during the day on Saturday and him dropping them off early

His ex picking them up

Not seeing them that weekend, if taking them back is too challenging for everyone

Him taking them back on mothers day and upsetting OP

Like another PP pointed out, OP, you’re spending the day with your kids, that’s the most important element, and most of it with their dad. There are plenty of options regarding DSC.

Just seen this update - it sounds like the DSC mum has messed this up then by changing plans last minute and ensuring your OH has to run around on Mother’s Day. Or she could just not go out. Sounds like your OH needs to stand up to her and remind her of the agreed plans. She can cancel her Saturday night out and have her DC back early or see them Sunday afternoon/evening as agreed.

Read ‘ex’ as ex of DSC DM

The thread I quoted literally said move the day.

Birth is actually a verb (as well as a noun depending on how the word is being used) ….

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/birth

hth

I don't get the issue. It's mother's day, so spend it with your child. Your husband isn't your child so doesn't need to be there.

It's only lunch. I'd just make some plans for yourself and little one if you think you'll be at a loose end. What do you normally do on a Sunday? Curious what you were expecting for mothers day? Not a dig, just generally curious. My girl is 6, I know she's made me some pictures and I'm not to get out of bed first thing. There's a bag I'm not allowed to look in (they were in the lego store) and I've said please could I have some flowers, just a couple of the £3 bunches from the supermarket and I can make the living room pretty. I don't really know what else I'd expect 😆 but we're fairly low key about these things unless it's 6yo birthday and Xmas. I think there's bigger things to worry about. Blended families are always going to have to give and take here and there, let it go and enjoy your weekend.

You're mostly right but of course we can't just add out dates to the calendar as soon as everyone else has confirmed because we need to allow for them changing their minds last minute. Dates should only be added to the calendar the day before the event but with the understanding that there might still be a change on the day.

Thankfully I don't have to do this as my DH doesn't treat me like a 2nd priority. I do still have to make compromises though. We've already booked in our anniversary in December since the ex booked a 2 week holiday with her boyfriend last year over our anniversary so we've booked it in with her in advance this year. If she changes her mind last minutes that's tough, she'll need to sort her own childcare. My DH would never cancel plans with me because of his ex.

Someone who actually gets it!

It's just a day. Have the morning, then go out for dinner, or get takeaway. Do it the following Sunday. I'm working, my kids are all grown up and prob won't even bother. If you stll have your mum can you spend it with her and your child. .