Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

Your sounding a bit like a teenager 🙈

Of course they don’t, this is how those who work shifts and their families have managed for years.

So why aren't you making your own mothers' day a special day... and taking LO over to see her... It's not exclusively about you. There's joy in giving.

Please remove my mother from this narrative

I don't care. I don't move days. They are the day. I'm the same with birthdays, I refuse to celebrate them early as that's bad luck. But they must always be marked on the day

I didnt think so OP. I was just attempting to make a point. Reading people's made up narratives is tedious. That poster was making up their own narrative.

Sorry, I think Mother’s Day is important so I’m not the typical MNer who seems to think it’s all daft but you are blowing this out of all proportion.

There is no real reason why you can’t move the day, or do something before/after. As long as a fuss of you is made in some way I don’t see the issue. Be a grown up and communicate to your partner.

Also you say “oh I’ll just book a spa day on Father’s Day and leave him with his child” it’s not the same. He isn’t doing something fun, he is doing a chore which you’ve also said he would have to do at some point on that day anyway.

yes a little inconsiderate but not worth all this. It feels like you’ve made your mind up to be mad about it and that’s it.

I don't understand the issue. You are with your DC. You don't need your DH to hold your hand on mother's day. What would you do if he wanted ro see his own mother?

@HarraKiri totally disagree. Ex isn’t a taxi service, if she wants to see her kids she’s more than capable of making the effort. Shes ‘going out’ on Saturday night, just go and get your kids instead. OP’s priority is to ensure his current wife is spoiled on Mother’s Day, not his ex.

OP’s priority is to ensure his current wife is spoiled on Mother’s Day, not his ex

That's really weird. Why does she need spoiled off her partner? She ain't his mum.... she is the mother of his kids but then so is the ex (if you want to be difficult) and technically it's about appreciating your mother so it's from your children.

Get a lie in, have a lunch you like and either cuddle up watching a film or go for a walk together depending on what you feel like. Leave any housework for when DP gets back and he can cook you dinner and then do bedtime while you have a relaxing bath.

I’ll just send my 1 year old down the shop to buy me a card then and maybe he can cook me a nice fry up on Mother’s Day morning?

It’s get a grip time.

Oh god, this question is getting really boring now 🙄

I'd be saying they will have to come home Saturday evening as you are not cancelling your plans. But if that really isn't possible can't he take them back early morning, say 8am then he should be back to you by 1 at the latest? You can then go out for your lunch.

This is just a ridiculous excuse to moan about his ex. Do you honestly think all mothers are entitled to a nice lunch at a set time because of a random national day. There are no stepchildren in my life but some year I've worked it. Other years my husband has worked it. Sometimes I've cooked a massive lunch for my mom so been frantic and stressed. Sometimes I've had breakfast in bed and then run the kids to sports matches. The question is...do you feel valued year round? Do you regret having big a child with someone who had massive previous commitments? The answers to those questions are what this is really about.

Sorry 'had' a child, not 'big' a child.

Ah excellent. Sorry for my terse reply I'm getting a bit fed up of it too so I'm going to bow out now. Thanks to everyone who has understood where I'm coming from.

Been surprised

I'M NOT MOANING ABOUT THE EX

I would also leave the thread if I were you @waterlellon . You are up against posters who will just continue on with their own narrative. Totally made up in their head. They are either as thick as pig shit OR have some deep DEEP seated insecurities regarding their own set ups so come on here to take it out on stepmothers. Well, other women but stepmothers get the worst of it.
Whatever happens, I hope you have as nice a Mother's Day as possible. Look after yourself.

Step parents should be issued with a step parent calendar. It will just be blank, no bank holidays, no important dates like Easter/Christmas/Mothers day. Even our birthdays can be left off it.

Once we find out everyone else’s plans (The ex, step children, our partner) we can then insert all the missing dates (bank hols/easter/Christmas/our birthdays) onto our calendar accordingly, making sure not to inconvenience anyone else. Because, remember, we are step parents and we must slot in around everyone else. Don’t make a fuss.

Oh and our kids too, they’re lucky to have their other parent living at the same address. That is all they need. So they’ll need to slot in too. Don’t teach them their birthday. They might need to move it.

Not a difficult concept is it OP? Arrange any events around everyone else. Forever.

However I am also a mother to his children

From your melodramatic posts it doesn’t sound like you are at all. She’s their mother, you’re their father’s new partner/wife.

This may be Mothering Sunday but you still sound like you need to learn that life isn’t all about you all the time. Grow up.

So OP doesn’t get to lay claim to the child she birthed herself, no?

Was it the teen who changed their mind about Mother's day? It's a tricky one. Children should come first, but teens should also understand that they can't just change their minds and expect it to happen. Either way, your DH could still have shown some empathy and recognised that this changes the day for you too and apologised.