I can’t stand my DSC

[holywow]

I already know how this is going to go but i need to know how to unpick my feelings or change how I feel before it gets worse.
I will try not to harp on with myself but I just can’t bare my DSS any longer. He verging on probably the most irritating person I’ve ever met and I can’t work out how it’s come to this. It’s at the point where I am considering ending my marriage because I can’t bare to see him on a weekly basis any longer and I hate myself for feeling this way towards an 8 year old boy and worried about the damage that’s it’s going to do or already doing to him and the relationship between him and dh. The dread and anxiety that I feel as the weekend approaches is getting worse and worse. This started around the end of my pregnancy with my own DS (3yo) and has got gradually worse up till this point.

I’m so fed up of our home being chilled and calm during the week but then pandemonium every weekend when he arrives.
Im sick of the pity party for him off dh and his family.
Im sick of having to ask DSS mum permission every single time we want to book something like an abroad holiday or a few days break and then the arsing around choosing dates that she agrees to when I just simply want to book a holiday for my family and for my own ds to enjoy.
I hate hearing ‘daddy can I have can I have can I have’ all weekend.
I hate that I try my best to parent my 3 year old a certain way then all my hard work coming undone at the weekend when DSS arrives.
i hate that my 3 year old can’t play with his toys in peace instead of being teased and wound up by an older child who isn’t here during the week.
I can’t stand that every single Friday and Saturday night, without fail, we’re woken several times a night because DSS wants dh to get in his bed.
I resent how I want another baby so badly but they won’t get their own bedroom and will have to share with DS as DSS absolutely has to have his very own bedroom at our house even though he has his own bedroom at his mums.

I resent absolutely everything and I don’t know how to stop it. I never used to be like this before my own child was born!!

I’m a first and only wife.op doesn’t have a dss problem she has as dh and ex problem which her mil is supporting.

considering the circumstances on her birth, even as a bloody stranger I would have had dss and he isn’t my child! Reassured him that dad loves him but just needs to be with his very sick little brother . Just as he would be there for him if he was sick. The fact dss own mother didn’t want to support her own ds at this time sucks.

op I’m glad you are seeking professional help, as many have said I think the birth trauma is significant.

Your dh needs to get more boundaries in with ex. Tell her the holiday is x snd dss can come or she has him for those weekends. Tell dss first you are planning a holiday, like the one he had with mum, with him etc so less wiggle room for ex .

He also needs to reframe his interaction with his ds … he’s not the most important but he is very important. Dad loves both his kids etc. I think family counselling for dad and his eldest might help too…

i get this post is a vent, and venting is not rational. you know how you feel is not ok and are asking for help. Some responses are just mad . Hope you get the support you need