Step kids want to live with us full time.

[ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

My dh has two children to a previous relationship. They are with us Friday to Monday every other weekend. I have one child and we have one child together.

Our blended family works fairly well. Step kids are lovely and a credit to their mother. Dh is a bit of a Disney dad, but does put a lot of time into them.

I have a great relationship with the kids, but this is because I don’t parent them at all, as in I don’t force them to clean up, do homework etc. I just enjoy the fun parts of life with them.

Our time with them is fun, they have boundaries but it’s generally the fun house. The kids want to live here full time. I don’t think it’s a good idea because I am not going to put the time into parenting them like I do with my kids. My dh works until late so most of the parenting would be left to me.

The kid’s parents are negotiating what to do, but I don’t know if I should be honest about my concerns.

She clearly does not stand at the wash basket and segregate uniforms, so you are talking out of your hat and should apologise.

Guess what? The DH can work the washing machine any day of the week.

The planet is imploding - we are all going to die but all the posters care about is sticking yet more into the washing machine (electricity, water, heating, chemical cleaners) as if that is a big priority. OMG get a life.

Guess what? Washing machines work every day of the week. So what if the Op would prefer to only do washing in the middle of the week (is anyone this inflexible??) It would take seconds to throw all uniforms in the machine on Friday night.

Your argument was that she had all the clothes together at the same time and was choosing not to wash her DSC's clothes. That is blatantly untrue - she is not doing washing at the time their clothes need doing, this would be a new, separate chore. Which returns us to the question, why isn't their dad doing it?

And it is a practical solution to say 'go and ask for school lunch' if you find our 5 minutes before leaving that no one has done the lunches. OP would have been late for work otherwise. The kids weren't "without any food", you drama llama.

No one would bat an eyelid if she was the biological mother making that decision.

If it's so easy when why isn't their dad doing it?

You seem to be making the classic assumption that OPs children have been popped on the shelf for the weekend while OP and her DH cater to the DSC.
Poor man, slaving away at sports club with his kids boohoo 🙄
OP isn't doing washing for her own children over the weekend, she's treating all the kids exactly the same in that regard.

Guess what? Washing machines work every day of the week. So what if the Op would prefer to only do washing in the middle of the week (is anyone this inflexible??) It would take seconds to throw all uniforms in the machine on Friday night.

It just requires a penis to do it.

Indeed, my sons (teens) are supposed to get their lunches ready before holiday camp - if they forget, they have pocket money and can buy a sandwich. If there was no option to buy food at camp, I would suck up being late for work whilst they got sorted, but there is, so they do.

In what way specifically is that not what’s happening?

Even if I had no connection to the kids, I would still either make my husband be responsible for washing their uniform and getting their lunch or do it myself! Ffs you are an adult and you are in effect allowing neglect of these kids. I truly dont understand how anyone could be without sufficient empathy to provide the basic care for the kids.

You better hope you and your DP dont split up, because if his next partner is like you, it will be your kid going into school neglected.

Sorry, missed the bit where Op said it was her home not one shared with DP.

Would a list help or even you say to dh on Friday have you out the kids washing on

So fri. Wash uniform and hang /dry
Sun make packed lunch

It's basic stuff but dh seems to be told

So bottom line, if the dad a waste of space Op entitled to neglect them? Great lesson she is showing there to her two kids.

Takes a shitty parent to habitually put another persons kids above their own.
I find it shocking that you find it shocking that OPs own children and her responsibilities to them are a higher priority for her to be honest.

OP says she does ask him and he just says he'll do it later.

She has said she reminds him and he says he will do it later.

Scheduling it for him is still doing the wife work.

ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE has OP said the kids have dirty underwear, I would presume they have weekend clothes and undies at hers, which are washed in the weektime loads, and it is just because they leave from school Fri and return to school Mon in the same pieces of clothing that the uniform laundry is an issue.

So op doesn't wash her own kids uniforms when they finish school on Friday? They all have dirty clothes? Jeez…the level of selfishness in the face of caring for kids is mindblowing!

How old are they all?????

So bottom line, if the dad a waste of space Op entitled to neglect them? Great lesson she is showing there to her two kids.

I don't believe someone that isn't responsible for them can neglect them, she just isn't stepping in to prevent their neglect at long and lengthy cost to herself.

But what happened to her own DC clothes?

Well it’s more than he’s doing for his step child isn’t it? I guess he must be REALLY spiteful, right?

Err, no - as per my post above, her kids (if they are school age) will have several sets of uniform, at least one of which is washed on, say, Thursday and ready for Monday.

SOMEONE needs to do the washing. Maybe the Dad is working? I've no idea. But here we have TWO GROWN ADULTS, and between them they can't get their shit together enough to have children in clean clothes and with food for lunch.

And there is very much the undercurrent in this house, of not doing anything for any child who isn't biologically your own. Which leads to segregation, in what is meant to be a blended family. The children didn't ask to be in a blended family. The children didn't ask to be carted between two houses all the time. And they certainly didn't ask to be treated as second class citizens in their fathers home.

I guarantee, that when the SC are adults, they will remember the times that they were sent in to school with dirty clothes and no food. And they will detest both parents for letting that happen.

They have more than one set and she does laundry on weekdays.

It's not hard.

Washing machines work every day of the week, I hear.
I'm assuming, if OPs kids are indeed "uniform aged" , that they have more than one set and they can wear a clean set on Monday, when the laundry recommences.
Whatever way too twist and turn, its the DH that has been cruel/vile/selfish etc. and not sorted either a load of laundry or a spare uniform for his home.
But it seems to suit a certain type of player to stick the knife in the nearest woman instead.