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Step-parenting

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My partner dislikes my child

253 replies

Mumof6yearoldboy · 16/07/2023 20:34

Sorry I’m advance for the length of this I just needs a little advice that’s not from my friends and family I’m being made to feel like my child’s a problem and I apparently can’t see it. I have a 6 year old son and I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for 1 year. We recently moved in together in may. Previously it’s just been me and my son living alone together since he was a small child. My partner thinks I should change my parenting to meet his standards because apparently I’m a push over, who has no rules and we should be instilling zero tolerance into our children to teach them rules.
yet everyone who meets my son laughs there heads of, loves him and he receives nothing but good feed back at school. My partner is very strict and regimented and I’ve always just been fun, laid back and allowed my son to be a child. I think he’s kind, caring, loving, funny but talks a hell of lot. I think he behaves like most other children, he often needs asking to do something 2/3 times, he doesn’t really answer back but does have an answer for everything, he stalls bedtime for 10 mins with im hungry, thirsty, need a wee. These are things my partner has highlighted as a problem aswel as…..
He’s sly, vindictive, rude, spoilt, nosey, selfish.
Sly and vindictive - he will wind my partners 2 year old up. I’ll hold my hands up here he does do this but is that not normal sibling behaviour.
Rude- he questions some things my partner says and checks with me if it’s correct. I always support my partner when he’s dealing with issues.
Spoilt- if we go to the shop I will buy him something like a £1s worth. I don’t spend loads of unnecessary money.
Nosey- he’s started to listen in on adult conversations, then will ask questions.
Selfish - he doesn’t really like my partners 2 year old playing with his figures because he thinks he will break them, I encourage sharing which he will do with select toys.
Since my partner moved in my child now has to share me and his home/bedroom with a man and his child I feel like these are big changes which he has accepted really well and I don’t personally think his behaviour is that terrible I feel like he behaves normal. I feel like my partner is constantly nit picking at the smallest of things like because today said we was going to a play area but the play area turned out to be closed and my child briefly sulked or because he’s left a wrapper on the side, he even moaned because he wanted to bring a pocket full of rocks home from the park.

OP posts:
MrsSlocombesCat · 29/09/2023 12:46

I can only add that you need to leave. This situation will get worse.

BatShitCrazyGran · 02/10/2023 08:38

Out the door with this piece of crap,no wucking furries. Your son sounds like the typical cheeky chappy kind of lad,and yes,he maybe does need a few little boundaries,but this man is vile.

Chan1970 · 06/09/2024 03:01

The top 3 in your life who you love the most are 1. Your kids, 2. Your parents, 3. Your partner.
When someone critise about your kids you would automatically feel defensive about it, because everyone has different ways of bring up their own kids, some better than others and it all depends on how we have been brought up.
However, when your partner (someone new) criticises about your own kids then remember it hurts, because they are torn between you and them.
I am having problems now with my partner of 7 years, we have lived with each other for 2 years with her daughter of 26 years old.
Not once have i critised her, even though she has the odd few things i dont like, but though out even before we moved in all together i have helped her build her confidence and helped her learn how to drive and get a job.
My kids are 13 and 17, but my partner dont like my kids. I started sensing this when i brought them around 2 years ago, but since i started noticing it bothers her then i stopped bringing them around if she's at home. I have to add that in these 2 years my kids have changed so much in my eyes evolving but they listen to me and never do anything wrong.
I planned to help her get a job as an apprentice in my company when she turns 18 and i spoke to partner about this. I asked her if she could live with us, as we have a spare room.. Of course that didnt go well.. As I'm always positive, i said ok but i will help her learn to drive but it would mean she would have to drive for 45mins to 1hr just one way each day, as she would be living with my ex. She still went mad, saying i would probably buy her car and insurance.. Etc, spending all that money.
Here's the point I'm making here, I'm paying 2000 per month for rent, i pay her car insurance for her land rover which i bought for her, the gas and electric, and my own life insurance.. Which will protect her and my kids. I give my ex for child maintaince 800 per month.. But not once have i ever complained about anything in my life.
Even though i haven't been on holidays with my kids, i have been going 3 times each year with my partner and this not your european.. Its more like thailand, bali and middle east. I spend over 12k on holidays for us.. For the last 3 years.

As i am a patient man, i will carry on doing what i am doing but i just want you all to know in my eyes and mind what i go through, so you may understand and just carry on loving the other person and don't critise or argue.

I'm doing my best to hold the whole world up but if you push me then it will have to let go because you leave me no choice.

Goodluck.. Hope that helps.

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