My partner dislikes my child

[Mumof6yearoldboy]

Sorry I’m advance for the length of this I just needs a little advice that’s not from my friends and family I’m being made to feel like my child’s a problem and I apparently can’t see it. I have a 6 year old son and I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for 1 year. We recently moved in together in may. Previously it’s just been me and my son living alone together since he was a small child. My partner thinks I should change my parenting to meet his standards because apparently I’m a push over, who has no rules and we should be instilling zero tolerance into our children to teach them rules.
yet everyone who meets my son laughs there heads of, loves him and he receives nothing but good feed back at school. My partner is very strict and regimented and I’ve always just been fun, laid back and allowed my son to be a child. I think he’s kind, caring, loving, funny but talks a hell of lot. I think he behaves like most other children, he often needs asking to do something 2/3 times, he doesn’t really answer back but does have an answer for everything, he stalls bedtime for 10 mins with im hungry, thirsty, need a wee. These are things my partner has highlighted as a problem aswel as…..
He’s sly, vindictive, rude, spoilt, nosey, selfish.
Sly and vindictive - he will wind my partners 2 year old up. I’ll hold my hands up here he does do this but is that not normal sibling behaviour.
Rude- he questions some things my partner says and checks with me if it’s correct. I always support my partner when he’s dealing with issues.
Spoilt- if we go to the shop I will buy him something like a £1s worth. I don’t spend loads of unnecessary money.
Nosey- he’s started to listen in on adult conversations, then will ask questions.
Selfish - he doesn’t really like my partners 2 year old playing with his figures because he thinks he will break them, I encourage sharing which he will do with select toys.
Since my partner moved in my child now has to share me and his home/bedroom with a man and his child I feel like these are big changes which he has accepted really well and I don’t personally think his behaviour is that terrible I feel like he behaves normal. I feel like my partner is constantly nit picking at the smallest of things like because today said we was going to a play area but the play area turned out to be closed and my child briefly sulked or because he’s left a wrapper on the side, he even moaned because he wanted to bring a pocket full of rocks home from the park.

Glad I’m not the only one who thought this was pretty quick going, 12 minutes and done and dusted!

Very difficult to advise without knowing your child.is there some truth in what he says? Eg you mention you only spend a pound when with him in the shop. My first thought was 'so every time you shop your child gets a small treat?'. To me that seems excessive. It's not the pound, its the expectation. Also being deliberately mean to another child is wrong.
If you feel your child's behaviour isn't an issue the answer is obvious, you need to split up. I do hope your son, who has a habit of listening in on adult conversations, does hear these accusations. They could be very damaging. Is your son ready for you to be so involved with another man (family) yet?

Anyone who won't let a kid bring rocks home isn't for you and your child. Bin him off today. Don't delay. Enjoy a stress free summer just the two of you.

Cringe. I've just read the updates. Well done OP have a lovely summer with all the rocks

Better to have a relationship without living together.

Sorry have I misunderstood the op?? Maybe I did - I thought she posted on here and then suddenly decided to kick him out and had packed his stuff up and finished booting him out 15 minutes later. If I'm mistaken I apologise

Please get rid of this man TODAY.

Your post has made me cry and reminded me of a traumatic relationship I got into when my younger Son was 5 years old.

This man started out nit picking like your partner and escalated to trying to force my Son to eat foods he didn't like (such as pineapple on a pizza). He once turned the speakers up as loud as he could in the car to drown out my Son crying. I also found out years later that he would open my Son's bedroom door when I was downstairs and call him a little b*stard. These are just a few of many horrible things this man did.

Thinking about this situation 18 years later makes me feel sick with guilt for not dropping this man the first time he looked at my Son wrong. Please drop this man today, he sounds like he hates your Son, the Son that you love and who relies on you to protect him.

All 6 year olds display behaviours that aren't desirable at times though and that's completely normal. He can't expect a 6 year old to never throw a strop, or wind a younger sibling up, or not finish his dinner etc. Also getting annoyed over things like him wanting to bring some rocks home from the park - it makes no difference to his life he's just being an arsehole. Why get annoyed at a 6 year old having fun and showing an interest in things ffs, it will break his spirit if she stays with this bloke. He doesn't like her child and never will. What when this child is a teenager and has an attitude?

Sorry it didn’t work out op. Your son sounds like a cutie.

Oh your poor son
l bet when your partners own is 6 ,he / she won’t be treated like yours.
why did u move him in and make your son share his room .
they are strangers made to share a room ,not siblings

@Mumof6yearoldboy Well done.

As soon as I started reading your post, I thought he needs to go. Am pleased to see you’ve already kicked him out. Sometimes, you don’t find out the truth about someone until you live with them and it takes a lot of guts to then kick them out. Your son will thank you.

OP your bf is testing your boundaries to see how much abuse he can start with. It'll get worse, little by little.

Hurrah! You kicked him out! Thank god for that. Right choice

I only read the first few lines and I got the bare details then stopped reading as I realised that it doesn't matter the story.... I think you know yourself that your partner has to go

Sorry OP ....I committed the MN sin of not reading your updates!! Well done. Hugs to you, even though it's the right thing I'm sure it still has sadness attached xx

Your partner is the problem and your son will become all the things your partner is saying he is if he hears this negative tail and feels unwelcome in his own home. For your son’s sake break off the relationship or at the very, very least get him to move out and live separate family lives.

Sorry OP, I missed this.
You definitely did the right thing

Right choice. Your son will have a significantly better outcome, and ultimately you'll be happier too.

Yeah I’m sure he himself was an exemplary 6 year old who always let other kids play with his toys was never “selfish” etc 🙄

Please leave him immediately… it will only get worse x

He’d be an ex partner if he did or said anyone of those things about a child of mine. Oh the irony, calling your son sly and vindictive is rich, an adult man being mean and petty to child. Zero tolerance ffs.
Your poor son has had his world turned upside down, he’s 6, he’s having to share his mum with a hostile man and a 2 year old, expected to share his toys, jump when told to.
It’ll get worse as your son grows, it’ll be a two cocks in a hen house situation, it’s starting already.

Just read your update. Well done op. It’s the right thing.

well done. I found your first post very difficult to read... your poor boy. you are a good mum. big hug.

Well done for putting your child first. At some point you need to learn boundaries.