My partner dislikes my child

[Mumof6yearoldboy]

Sorry I’m advance for the length of this I just needs a little advice that’s not from my friends and family I’m being made to feel like my child’s a problem and I apparently can’t see it. I have a 6 year old son and I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for 1 year. We recently moved in together in may. Previously it’s just been me and my son living alone together since he was a small child. My partner thinks I should change my parenting to meet his standards because apparently I’m a push over, who has no rules and we should be instilling zero tolerance into our children to teach them rules.
yet everyone who meets my son laughs there heads of, loves him and he receives nothing but good feed back at school. My partner is very strict and regimented and I’ve always just been fun, laid back and allowed my son to be a child. I think he’s kind, caring, loving, funny but talks a hell of lot. I think he behaves like most other children, he often needs asking to do something 2/3 times, he doesn’t really answer back but does have an answer for everything, he stalls bedtime for 10 mins with im hungry, thirsty, need a wee. These are things my partner has highlighted as a problem aswel as…..
He’s sly, vindictive, rude, spoilt, nosey, selfish.
Sly and vindictive - he will wind my partners 2 year old up. I’ll hold my hands up here he does do this but is that not normal sibling behaviour.
Rude- he questions some things my partner says and checks with me if it’s correct. I always support my partner when he’s dealing with issues.
Spoilt- if we go to the shop I will buy him something like a £1s worth. I don’t spend loads of unnecessary money.
Nosey- he’s started to listen in on adult conversations, then will ask questions.
Selfish - he doesn’t really like my partners 2 year old playing with his figures because he thinks he will break them, I encourage sharing which he will do with select toys.
Since my partner moved in my child now has to share me and his home/bedroom with a man and his child I feel like these are big changes which he has accepted really well and I don’t personally think his behaviour is that terrible I feel like he behaves normal. I feel like my partner is constantly nit picking at the smallest of things like because today said we was going to a play area but the play area turned out to be closed and my child briefly sulked or because he’s left a wrapper on the side, he even moaned because he wanted to bring a pocket full of rocks home from the park.

Glad he is gone good riddance.

@Mumof6yearoldboy You sound like a great mum. There is nothing wrong with being fun and laidback as long as you are teaching your child the values you want them to learn.

If you respect children they will respect you back. It’s called “modelling” the behaviour that you want to see.

Parenting styles can fall into 3 main categories: Permissive, Authoritative, Authoritarian.

It is well documented that children have poor outcomes from permissive and authoritarian parenting styles. Children fair best with authoritative parenting style.

Check out the differences between the 3 categories I listed above. Your recent ex sounds like he was trying to encourage you to be authoritarian. Good on you for refusing to take his criticisms on board.

There is more than one way to be a good parent. You know your child best. Don’t let anyone make you second guess yourself.

Best of luck for the future 🍀🌺🌈💖

Your poor son. Please put him first. You sound like a great mum and I fear for his future and your if you stay with this miserable man

Your little boy bit needs protecting from this horrible man. You sound like a great mum. Leave your partner. He shouldn't be around your child at all. Nasty bullying prick.

Sorry, op. I didn't read your updates before I posted 🤦🏼‍♀️
It's refreshing to read someone put their child first. Well done

You did a fantastic job putting your child first. It would have been hard to accept it was the only option but ultimately you’ve saved everyone years of misery, frustration and heartbreak. Living with someone who hates your child is no life for either of you.

Don’t jeopardise your sons happiness for a man you barely know. You moved him in way too quick.

Just read your last post. Makes a bit more sense now and well done for giving him the boot.

Please please please don’t stay with someone who doesn't think your beautiful 6 year old boy is the bees knees. Speaking as the adult that was your child x

Just saw your update, well done OP you’ll never regret that decision x

I am sorry, OP, but how is this even a question? That little child will have a miserable life if you stay with that despicable man. You should leave him NOW.

Please break up with this man. There is one thing kindly and sensitively discussing small issues with both of your children interacting together BUT the words he has used to describe your child are deeply worrying! Put your child first and ask him to leave (I assume by how you've written it he moved in with you, and probably for his own convenience more than yours'). I think of all the horrible stories of children dying when step parents are involved (no I'm not tarring all step parents just ones like the poster has written about) your son's safety is paramount here!

@Mumof6yearoldboy You are sacrificing a happy childhood for your boy by being with this awful man.

The damage a cruel step~parent can do is incalculable. Your poor boy. He sounds absolutely 'Normal' in every way, not remotely naughty or rude.

Ditch that ghastly man- for the sake of your boy.

You need to break up immediately with your partner. He is jealous. He is also a massive huge gigantic dick. Don't have him in your house for another second. DEFEND YOUR CHILD

You’ve made the right decision. He has the parenting expertise of a (I’m guessing part-time) carer of a two year old. He has no idea of what it’s like to look after a 6 year old and yet he’s happy to tell you that you’re doing it wrong.

Also, kids often show unlikable behaviours because they are kids and they are still learning social niceties. It’s why it’s so important that they live with people who love/care for them unconditionally. Because their home should be their safe space.

Oops sorry. Just saw your update. BRILLIANT WORK!!! YOU ARE A STAR!!!

Well done!!
Your boy will be all the happier and much more secure because of it.

My friend went out with a vile man and I saw him kick and push her four year old when he thought no one was looking.

Sadly she chose to stay with him.

You have done the right thing! 👍

Good for you OP!

Not sure why you posted asking for advice if you’d already kicked him out?

Get rid.

The problem here is your partner. Please protect your child and leave. This is very distressing to read. Your child only has you to protect him.

Well done op. You have done the right thing. :-)

Yeah tbh I'm not quite sure this happened exactly as stated here. Post on here, get a few replies then instantly pack all his shit and kick him about 15 minutes later?

No, op broke up with boyfriend earlier in the day and then later (probably after ds had gone to bed) probably doubted herself posted to check she had made the right decision.