Step-child Bedroom dilemma!

[Netmu]

Hi, this is my first time posting on mumsnet and looking for some advice!

My partner and 10 month old baby live in a 2 bedroom house. We moved in a few years ago, my partner has another child, my step-daughter (12yoa) who visits every other weekend. We five minutes away from my SD. But she only ever visits every other weekend, we do try to get her to come round more (I work from home) and we are always telling her to come over after school and stay over but she never does. Our babies cot is in our room with us, whilst my stepdaughter has the other bedroom decorated really lovely with all her things. I want to start moving my baby into the other bedroom and share with her sister, and make her side hers but I know she will be upset by this. I know she shouldn’t but not sure how to handle this. Any advise is really appreciated! For context I’ve been with her dad for 10years so we have a pretty good relationship and I really get along with her mum too.

Of course the baby should have the room when she isn't there. Why on earth would you have a room sat empty for the vast majority of the month whilst the child who lives in the house has none. Ridiculous.

I agree it's probably best to move baby out when she stays but that's because of the age gap. I know my own stepchildren spend a lot of time in their rooms now they are getting to be teens speaking to friends on games and things. If they couldn't do this from 7pm because a baby was asleep in there they'd be moping around downstairs with us being insufferable through boredom 😂

She's got a sibling and she needs to share her room (when she's not even there anyway) boohoo plenty of others have to.

If you have a child who us only there a couple of nights a month why would you want to encourage them to be in there room. Surely you'd want to have as much quality time with them as possible?

I agree, but on MN all teens are permanently in their bedroom with their friends and must be facilitated to do this at all times.

Quite!

I don’t know why people are so angry you had a child. Your baby is part of the family and should also be entitled to a decent bedroom whether sharing or not. I would try to make it a fun activity for the older sibling to help make her room baby friendly but also with her own style. She can help with choosing decor. I would have loved to have a baby bro or sis as a tween I begged my mum a lot haha but it wasn’t meant to be.

Can I be honest with you that this happened to my DD at 12 and she stopped sleeping there completely as being in with a baby was for her, a bit shit. There is a risk of this

Frankly, teenager's would not want married adults sleeping in their bed, and having sex in their bed. I don't care if the sheets and blankets get washed, that will make them very uncomfortable. Also, they won't want to get up to go the bathroom, get a drink or snack, and risk catching adults in the act. This solution would make everyone uncomfortable and cranky.

If you can, get a little bed for her in your room, and put up a screen. That way she is sleeping in her own bed, but you and your husband have privacy. If she is used to sleeping with you, she won't be ready for her own space for awhile, and putting her in her own bed in your room will help her with transition.