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Original poster

H being ridiculous over a bauble

529 replies

Kikkk · 30/11/2022 21:51

Yes you read that right... A Christmas bauble is the latest source of ridiculousness in our house.

My parents got all of their grandkids a personalised bauble this year to put on their trees which included our DC, along with my nephew and niece. They do this every year for Dsis' children but it's our child's second Christmas (weren't given one last year as only tiny) so first time they were given one.

Apparently we can't possibly put this bauble up because DSC don't have the same bauble with their names on... Just go and buy a freaking bauble for them then!

I can't cope with this level of stupidness.

OP posts:
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MadameMackenzie · 01/12/2022 15:29

You KNEW you DH had kids already when you married him ffs. Now you're allowing them to be segregated!

Please don't put it on the tree

GregoryFluff · 01/12/2022 15:29

I've only read up to page 9

I don't think your parents have done anything wrong

In 14 and 11 years respectively, if DH has nothing personalised from his DC on the tree then either

A. Not a sentimental family, haven't been brought up that way and so likely won't give a shiny shit

B. Mum has all of that stuff, from the baubles they made at playgroup, all the xmas decorations they made at school, to xmas crafts they did with grandparents. All hung proudly on her tree and Dad has never previously been bothered enough to ask for any of it, but takes exception now he's effectively being made to look bad

A lot of teens would be mortified to be filmed sticking a glittery, personalised bauble on a tree for the 'making memories' social media, aren't I an an amazing parent, post. Are they generally even there when you put the tree up?

Mountain out of a molehill

ivykaty44 · 01/12/2022 15:29

I am amazed that the grandparents are getting the rap for not purchasing a present for another child, that isn't anything to do with them.

I never see my dd1s dsc and although I would give him money for xmas or a small gift I wouldn't be doing the extras for him in the run up to xmas, thats for his grandparents to do with him - if they so choose.

LeandraDear · 01/12/2022 15:30

What happened to the man doing things for his own kids? We hear all the time from some that the fathers should be taking the prime share of care.

Quiegal · 01/12/2022 15:35

Apparently we can't possibly put this bauble up because DSC don't have the same bauble with their names on... Just go and buy a freaking bauble for them then!

The OP DH loves his DC to say shouldn't put up as it won't be fair. She would of happily put it not caring.

OP attitude is go buy bauble for them then which is so rude. Plus the level stupidness comment.

It really doesn't matter what we all think here. It her DH beginning to see how his DC are not being included or thinking of their faces seeing a bauble on tree like that and they don't have one.

Once he sees through the OP attitude as it's no big deal he will be questioning other things she will feel it's okay to exclude them from.

It could put this relationship on the rocks because it will show they mean nothing to OP.

The fact OP didn't think nothing was wrong putting up the bauble knowing SC will see is also going to be a red flag for him. He will feel hurt by this and realize a lot about the person he with.

Scoobyblue · 01/12/2022 15:36

I wouldn't have expected the grandparents to buy a bauble for her daughter's stepchildren. The step children have two sets of parents to buy gifts for them and the child has two sets of grandparents to buy gifts for them. The stepchildren do not need a third set of grandparents' presents. Also at 11 and 14 I wouldn't think that they will be bothered about a bauble.....

Whiskyvodka · 01/12/2022 15:37

Surely the sc have 4 grandparents already and OP’s dc has 4 grandparents.
The sc don’t need 2 extra grandparents.

Rainraindontgoaway · 01/12/2022 15:42

If I was in your parents position then I would absolutely consider your stepchildren, I would not leave them out. I see where your DP is coming from.

roarfeckingroarr · 01/12/2022 15:43

YANBU OP. This is ridiculous. It could be dealt with by doing nothing - or if the step kids mention it, the OP or their dad explains that the GPs bought them for the babies.

They are not the OP's parents' DGC. They have done nothing wrong!

diddl · 01/12/2022 15:44

MadameMackenzie · 01/12/2022 15:29

You KNEW you DH had kids already when you married him ffs. Now you're allowing them to be segregated!

Please don't put it on the tree

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

pinkyredrose · 01/12/2022 15:44

OP you're a stepmum, that means everything you do will be wrong! 😂 Tell your DH to shut whinging and get some baubles himself!

YumSushi · 01/12/2022 15:45

MadameMackenzie · 01/12/2022 15:29

You KNEW you DH had kids already when you married him ffs. Now you're allowing them to be segregated!

Please don't put it on the tree

Nah you can't be serious

pinkyredrose · 01/12/2022 15:45

MadameMackenzie · 01/12/2022 15:29

You KNEW you DH had kids already when you married him ffs. Now you're allowing them to be segregated!

Please don't put it on the tree

Omfg!😂😂😂

Herejustforthisone · 01/12/2022 15:45

stillvicarinatutu · 30/11/2022 23:17

It would be interesting to know if your husbands parents buy for all the children? Do they op? Or just their two original grandchildren?

You’re an idiot if you can’t see how those two situations are different. 😆

Herejustforthisone · 01/12/2022 15:47

Some people on here are so fucking weird about step kids. Segregation?!! I mean, I knew that certain posters despise step mothers just for being alive but come on, try to get a grip, do. 😂

YumSushi · 01/12/2022 15:47

Buy your DC an amazing tree to keep in their room well out of sight of thr DSC and every year buy a FABULOUSLY OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive personalise decoration?

aSofaNearYou · 01/12/2022 15:48

Quiegal · 01/12/2022 15:35

Apparently we can't possibly put this bauble up because DSC don't have the same bauble with their names on... Just go and buy a freaking bauble for them then!

The OP DH loves his DC to say shouldn't put up as it won't be fair. She would of happily put it not caring.

OP attitude is go buy bauble for them then which is so rude. Plus the level stupidness comment.

It really doesn't matter what we all think here. It her DH beginning to see how his DC are not being included or thinking of their faces seeing a bauble on tree like that and they don't have one.

Once he sees through the OP attitude as it's no big deal he will be questioning other things she will feel it's okay to exclude them from.

It could put this relationship on the rocks because it will show they mean nothing to OP.

The fact OP didn't think nothing was wrong putting up the bauble knowing SC will see is also going to be a red flag for him. He will feel hurt by this and realize a lot about the person he with.

Or, put another way, the relationship could end up on the rocks because OP becomes fed up with his hypersensitivity and taking offence to ridiculous, minor things like her not personally rushing out to buy them a bauble, instead of saying "oh yeah why don't you get them one". It's not like she's in any way saying she doesn't want them to have one.

There's no reason why it has to be her, or why it's a rejection for her to not do it, but not for him to not do it. I would not put up with that level of looking for problems from him

StephanieSuperpowers · 01/12/2022 15:50

There is an argument that he could splash out on 3 baubles all by himself each year from now on - one for each of his kids. Of course, it wouldn't prove anything.

YumSushi · 01/12/2022 15:55

StephanieSuperpowers · 01/12/2022 15:50

There is an argument that he could splash out on 3 baubles all by himself each year from now on - one for each of his kids. Of course, it wouldn't prove anything.

No there isn't really because the issue is the sacred grandchild bauble

YumSushi · 01/12/2022 15:58

I mean if he's like this over a bauble he'll be spitting feathers if they are left out their will

Qwertyyui · 01/12/2022 16:13

My PIL have initials of all their biological step kids. They don't have my DD on their and I have no issues. They have grown with their grandkids They don't have a bond with my DD. I couldn't muster energy to be annoyed at that.

The only reason all the names are on our tree is because I bought them. Had my DD been gifted one I wouldn't have felt the urge to rush out and buy the DSC ones to match. Blended families are not like hallmark movies we all function differently!

HyggeandTea · 01/12/2022 16:19

One year, my mum bought my niece a personalised Disney bauble; she did not buy one for the older sister or step brother. It was hung up on the tree, and still survives 18 years later.
Obviously it still affects them and they silently weep every Christmas🙄*

*spoiler. They couldn't give a flying fig, because it wasn't symbolic of anything, it was a shiny bauble with glitter on it! (They got chocolates and the bauble recipient was pretty salty about that!)

hot2trotter · 01/12/2022 16:34

Posts like this make me laugh. You've made your mind up that you're right and he's wrong (no matter what anyone else says) so why even post.

dexterslockedintheshedagain · 01/12/2022 16:40

stillvicarinatutu · 30/11/2022 23:32

It's comparable because you have 3 children. His parents appreciate that .
Yours don't and nor do you .

Step families dont work and this is why . I have a step brother who was the obvious favourite.

He's a heroine addict , a drug dealer , alcoholic and weed smoker .

I'm a police officer. I've been nc with my mother for 20 years and when step father died I didn't bat an eyelid, he was actually very abusive but knowing I was bottom of the pile hurt more than the broken fingers and beatings . Yeah my experience is no where comparable to your step
Children but they'll know who the golden child is is your eyes . And your parents eyes . I wish I'd had a parent to step up
As your dh is for his children.
Good on him .

A bit off topic, but what's the fact you're a police officer got to do with anything? Seems a bit random to just drop that in.

Confusion101 · 01/12/2022 16:47

Wouldn't it be nice if you got them sorted? Imagine how included they'd feel and how happy your DH would be with you for including them if you sorted it out rather than constantly saying if HE wants to sort it HE should go buy them! Your are their step mother. Include them.

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