To not give my kids over 50/50

[FullTimeMummy1983]

Hi, name changed for this but regular on aibu etc. Dont know if this is the right place but will get moved if need too.
Me and exH separated 6 years ago, 4 kids 7-13. Since Corona and all that theyve been having 50 50 time with there dad and me, which was fine, I have a new partner etc. The kids started being upset when they came back here crying and stuff saying they wanted to stay at there dads more. So he spoke to me and said it was in the kids best interests moving forward to stick with 50/50. Before this it was about 40/50 with me.
Anyway so then he says he wont be paying me CMS anymore because of this and will go through CMS cos we'd just been doing it between ourselves until now. I didnt know that he shouldn't pay me anything if 50 50 is this true? I would really struggle without that money and he said I could think about getting a job, I've not worked since before DD13 was born, but i don't see how thats his business and i have some inheritance.
Then the kids have come back to mine and said they want 50 50 but I've told them that would be a bigger gap not seeing there dad cos 2 weeks straight. One of them said its cos he has an xbox at his dads which i just think is the real reason so ive bought him an xbox now for here. I dont want to not be available for my kids cos who would have them if there ill etc. We've gone back to 40/50 now and my ex is saying he'll go though mediation cos thats what the kids want??
Can my ex not pay if its 50 50?

This is 100% a reverse because the op keeps admitting the child cries because they want to stay with their dad. If this was real, the op would never admit that and fabricate a story about how the children are happier with her.

I bet this is the new wife and the ex is behaving like this and is after her money too

What have I just read...

OP what are you going to do when your children are older? If you are on UC you wont get help with your mortgage, they will expect you to work and expect you to work full time when your youngest is 13, also you wont get benefits if you have more than 16k of your inheritance left. Were you married? If so does he have any claim on the inheritance?

Are you my DHs ex wife? 🤣 I honestly don't know how someone can look at themselves in the mirror every day knowing theyre about 40 years old and have never supported themselves. I'd be so ashamed.

Omg. My brain hurts. This has got to be a reverse, surely?

If it isn’t, are you DH’s ex-wife? On crack?

@FullTimeMummy1983

Will mediation tell me to work?

I feel quite sad reading this thread, especially this.

Is that your sole purpose,trying to avoid getting a job.
It would break my heart if my kids didn’t want to live with me.

Fucking hell

I think you need to get a part time job. Obviously on the days they are with him, he needs to take care of them fully and that includes school drop off and pick ups and also taking care of them if they are sick and off school. If he is going to do this, then yes you need to get some work. Can you work on the days he will have the kids? You should start looking for something that you can do to give you the extra income you need.

You need to work and don't hand over the child benefits he has his wife

OP, what is your rationale for thinking that your ex's income should factor into supporting your children? Why do you think it is not reasonable that you and your ex should not be equally responsible for the financial support of your children? You both created these lives, why should you not be expected to be equally responsible.

Your equal contribution could come from your inheritance . it is not essential that you go to work. It is only essential that you be an equal contributor. If the kids are spending less time with you, it is not unreasonable to think that you might need less money.

Your ex might be wanting more time to lessen his liability to you or the kids may want to spend more time with him. Whatever the motivation, if they spend less time with you, a court may or may not reduce the amount of CS that you receive.

If your inheritance won't cover the possible short fall, going to work might be a reasonable solution. Many children live in homes where the mother had to or chooses to work and they manage to do well.

If you go 50 50 he owes you nothing.

I honestly cannot believe you are refusing 50 50 because you will lose cms when your kids have been clear and told you they want that.

Even more so, I cannot believe you refuse to get yourself a job to pay for your lifestyle, rather than expecting your ex to fund you.

Your children are certainly old enough. If you don't want to lose money then go get a job.

Your entitlement is unreal!

What was the outcome with mediation OP? Did they sort out the 50:50 contact? Did they sort out the CMS? Or did they (shock horror) make you get a job and join the real world where we have to get off our arses and earn the money we need to live and support our families with?

And mine!

I bet 5 years later she's still not got a job 😂

@FullTimeMummy1983 did you resurrect your own post to pretend to be someone else?

OMC you cannot be serious?? Her wages should be taken into account but you can’t get a job?

Sort yourself out!

Why do t you tell us eh?!?! Seeing as it’s your thread?!?!

Hope you did because a few years back you sounded lazy, spoilt and entitled!!

@FullTimeMummy1983 is there a reason why you've resurrected your own zombie thread? 🤔

You do realise you are the original poster for this don't you? So do you have a job to financially support your children now instead of expecting their stepmother to do it?

If I didn't know better I'd think you was my husbands ex but she does and always has had a job, although that never stopped her wanting my money to be taken into consideration for CMS.

It's even stranger than that thread where op had asked for recommendations of buggies. Then years later responded to her own question.

Well, at least when people say, I can never spot a troll thread, there’s a great example of one here, with a bonus ‘accidental sock puppet reveal’ tutorial.

Omg im
usually on mum’s side but you are beyond entitled. Get back to work - you’re a lazy madam

What’s going on????