Ex not spending maintenance on kids

[Mrskeats]

What to do in this situation.
My dh pays a lot of spousal and child maintenance to ex wife and supports his oldest at university.
However DSD is always asking dh for money and says her mum has no money.
For context the ex has about 2300 net per month- no mortgage as my dh took his pension in the divorce and she took the equity and bought a house outright. She has no car to pay for either.
That amount may be underestimated.
My dh has now set up a standing order to give his daughter an allowance each week so she has a bit of money. He's knocking this off the child maintenance. DSD is 17.
Am I wrong to think that 2.3 to 2.5k is quite a lot with no housing costs?
There were no debts from the marriage

So tell the child no. For god sake your husband needs to parent😊.

However this does prove it’s not the ex’s fault. No matter how much money this child is given it won’t be enough.

Maybe your husband can stop blaming the mum now😊😊

It was the ex asking for more
Usually she just uses her daughter to do this
Same old same old

OP to give you another perspective, my DC SM does herself no favours by showing them that she has no respect for me. When I found out about their affair (she was the OW) I was worried that she would be lovely and my DC would prefer her. I was scared of losing them.

I need not have worried as her constant resentment for me receiving maintenance payments means they don't like her. I have never felt the need to run her down as she does that everytime she is negative about me. So crack on with bitterness if you like, but know it doesn't help you!

Oh ok choc
I will maybe just crack on and give ex all my salary then shall I?
She had 1600 on Friday and wants more today
Perfectly reasonable. Silly me.

Okay - say no to the child and no to the mum.

Make your husband do this - you can Ignore it.

His family, his problem.

You're still not listening, being bitter and pushing your own agenda is not a good trait. This is between your husband and his ex, who need to discuss this in a civilised way.

So all you people dissing the op & championing the exw in this - can you genuinely give any reasonable explanation as to why someone who has just received 1600 in maintenance feels it's ok to then turn around and ask for more?

@Sotiredofthislife if your children are adults & your ex wants to give them money that's his perogative - but personally I wouldn't like my children receiving extra money I know nothing about to spend as they please - it gives them too much power; spending power and power to play mum & dad off each other.
Furthermore my last buy one post was not directed at you specifically but at the general attitude to exh's & maintenance that most first wives on here seem to have & it seems to me that most first wives/partners on here are a hell of a lot more bitter than second wives/partners.

I’m in your situation and could have written your post (except the sums are higher). I had to get so mad but I don’t anymore. It’s DPs problem. Not mine. It doesn’t become my problem until it has an impact on our household money.
Detach yourself from this crap and separate yourself from him financially.

Magda- people immediately defended the xw as op has not explained how the mum isn't spending maintenance on the dd (the title). I expected to hear stuff like her shoes have holes in them, she has to walk because mum's not bought a bus pass which is evidence.

Also from experience teens can be grabby /manipulative. I remember my son telling me I was tight for not buying him £200 trainers. (He was wearing £90'ones boo hop) and I can imagine him complaining about how I spent my money because I couldn't accommodate this. If I had to money I would buy £200 shoes but I'm not buying that sort of thing on credit because he feels entitled to it.

There's no indication of what the child wanted money for. If she was buying necessities like stationery then a stern word to mum would be in order but I'm assuming it's to spend on having fun which suggests that Dad is a soft touch rather than the mum
Is neglecting the dd. As others said what if mum was restricting money because the dd was buying weed ? Dad's money is sabotaging her mum's efforts.

Of course the mum is unreasonable to demand more money. No doubt about it. But this thread has been a long drip feed with the numbers not coming until much later.

It's unlikely that a teenager would exaggerate, manipulate or make stuff up

They both do all that over
Add to this shocking school report today

@doritosdip - I can't speak for the op but my reading of her op is that given the amount of money the exw is receiving & given the dsd's comments about the dm saying she's poor it seems likely that (bar the dsd playing one parent off against the other) the exw is not using the money for the kids as what she's receiving should cover pocket money. With that level of maintenance dsd shouldn't HAVE to come to her df for weekly extras.
I am aware teens can be manipulative which is why I and many others advised op upthread to try suss out if what the dsd is saying is fact.

Op-Add to the shocking school report... that has nothing to do with you, your husband and his ex need to talk through things civilly. This latest from you feels like you're trying to put the knife in and enjoying it. Naughty.

stray if her husband is giving the dd pocket money (ie they are giving her pocket money) I would say that a terrible report has everything to do with op.

Would I hell be giving an allowance to a child who'd done shit in school (and whos attitude on the whole doesn't sound fantastic!) regardless of whether they were my step or biological child.

I'm confused? Surely your DP was paying this amount to his ex DW BEFORE you and him got together?? So this sum should have been deducted from his income already so how can you class it as family money? How was he managing to pay it before? Why now that you are together as a family with 2 incomes, is he struggling to pay this amount so much that it's impacting your personal finances and you have had to increase your hours?

It would seem to me that perhaps you should look at at your family budget to see what has changed so dramatically that you are now struggling to meet these payments and are so resentful of them...