I want a weekend without my stepson. Selfish?

[Debbie01]

Extremely confused. My fiance and I being together for a 1.5.years and actually living together since January and we just had a daughter a month ago. Yup, all really fast.
Well he has 3 kids of his own and I have one.
I always tell him to go spend time with his kids, that I'm ok with staying home that way they feel more comfortable n have him by theirselves, but today I asked him for something. He picks up his son, which is 2 years, every weekend and I ask him if could give us, me and his daughter, a weekend just for us two, meaning for him not to pick up his son 2 weekends out of the month. He exploded and he said hes not gonna do that, that that's his boy. Okay i said, then atleast give us one weekend. He said no as well.

Now, am I being selfish for wanting him to spend time with our new born daughter and myself only, atleast one weekend? Weekdays are difficult cause he works, then goes see his kids from like 230sh to 6 then comes home. And when he doesnt its cause hes working, which we dont see him either.
I feel like I shouldn't ask for this, but I also feel like we need time.

P.s. my daughter is 9 n lives with us. Her dad is not in the pic at all - I think diff. Is that she doesnt need my attention as much as his kid does. Also, keep in mind that he only spends time with him and doesnt see his other daughters (they all are from same mom).
Any thoughts?

Your most welcome. Keep positive and enjoy your baby. Remember to always communicate your needs, your a mum with a newborn, emotions can run high at this time. Mums can sometimes forget how stressful this stage is and can be for some of us. Good luck

@TwentyEight12 thanks for understanding.
He is home from 6 (when he gets home from his kids) until the next morning at 5AM. But should we count the sleep time? Lol then sat and sun, but that's when he has his son. At times he leaves to do "boys" stuff with him watches games gets haircuts etc.

@SolsticeBabyMaybe not that I wanna do that to them. But I want dad to spend time with his daughter like he does with the son?
Why would i do that to my daughter?

@Debbie01

Why did you post on the "My Step So" thread answering a poster who asked that OP if she was the other woman??

@gingerkittykat Do you really? All other comments starting to make me feel like I'm crazy. I think he spends equal time during the week, if not more with them since he gets here eats showers n goes to sleep. All I want is maybe 3 of us, dad newborn n myself, is have a weekend for our selfs.

@Debbie01

You are very welcome.

Hahahahaha! ‘Sleep time’ does not count, you are right 😂 I can see that there is an issue with the division of time spent between all of you, the scales are tipped more one way than the other.

I’m not sure what the solution to the issue is, but I do know know what the solution to the less than supportive posters is... and you are doing great on that!

My motto: Love is wonderful but happiness trumps love every time.

Good luck

@nothingsreallynewunderthesun 9 year old is homeschooled by someone else, not the mom. The mom works until 6, not 2.
They do cover different hours - hes off by 2 and there from 2sh to 6. The mom is off by 6 n it's there from 6sh until next day. Why does that matter? If you're mentioning that hes with her and me then I'm going to have to disagree with you cause hes not, I mean I wouldn't put my hands on fire for him, no girl should, but I know hes not.
Everyone is calling me selfish for requesting one weekend off the month, imagine if I tell him don't go spend time with them during the week? What kind of a girl would I be? No matter how I feel regarding the mom, he needs time with his kids.

@peanutbutterforever because he wants his boy all weekends. 🤷🏻‍♀️

They are a family you are a sideline

@nothingsreallynewunderthesun I'm sorry, WHERE did you read both parents watch the kids from 2 to 10PM?

@choli he doesnt go to their house when shes there.
He covers taking care of them from 2sh to 6.
Then mom from 6sh then on.
9 year old is homeschooled and 15 year old is in school.

Gosh, that’s a lot of time to see his son. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to ask for one weekend where it’s just the three of you, after all it’s a special time that you’ll never get back.

@nothingsreallynewunderthesun I'm sorry, but what does the moms work hours and kids homeschooled and everything else has to do with my initial question? 😂😂 you're just something else. Please disregard my initial post.
Thanks for ur comments.

Are you high? I can't make head nor tail of most of your replies OP

@MyNewBearTotoro she actually does Wednesdays and fridays when the old one is at school from 730 to 330 n gymnastics from 430 to 8. I'm not asking him to not see them, I'm asking him to spend 3 weekends as a big family and 1 weekend as the newborn him n i.

@Debbie01

May I give you a little advice about this site and others like it and what becomes more intense on it after a certain time of the evening?

It’s gone 11pm in the UK, people have had a bad day/week/month/year/decade and so sites like this are a wonderful place for people to —let rip— unwind.

@universitydreams idk where did I said she doesnt need time without her big sister. If read my post correctly - it says a weekend the three of us - dad, newborn, and myself.
Please read correctly.

@burnyburny I'm sorry, could you repeat?

@BellyButton85

Do you have any positive or constructive advice for the original poster?

@bellybutton85 please be respectful. If you don't have nothing nice to say, dont say anything at all.
It's not my fault half of these people want to know the moms n dads n kids whole life 😂 when I simply ask a question.

You keep saying you want two with the son and two with his daughter (or 3 with his son and 1 with his daughter) but surely when he has his son at your house every weekend he’s actually with both his son and your joint daughter? So 4 with them both? What you’re asking for is 3 with his son and your daughter, and 1 solely with your daughter? When would the son get a weekend entirely to himself with no other children around?

What sort of cuntish individual goes to collect his son and doesn’t spend time with his daughters ? Can you explain that part for me as I’m either really thick or I’m missing something here ??
I think this is the worse thing iv ever read if true

@Debbie01

Apologies... it has not gone 11pm in the UK, it has gone 10pm. They are out early tonight. It must have been the Bank Holiday weekend that’s thrown everyone including myself a little off kilter.

Or have I misunderstood and when he has his son at weekends he is solely with his son, and not with your daughter too?
Also, when you have this one weekend a month that is just you, him and the newborn, where will your older daughter be?