Birthdays and visits

[Lovelife12345]

So my partner has been going up to see his children Every other Friday now since about July, as Saturdays wasn't working with trains etc. We had to miss a Friday the other week as our baby was admitted into hospital overnight but then the following visit we stayed overnight and saw them for two days and bought them a gift from their baby brother to apologise and the ex wife although annoyed at first because he choose a sick baby over seeing the girls but soon apologised and realised he would be worried and not leave his side as it brought back memories of his youngest daughter hospital. But fast forward to his visit next Friday. Next Friday is my eldest son (his stepsons) birthday and I am not dragging him on a 4 hour round trip where he wouldn't see any of my family as they work until 5 otherwise plus he's 4 it wouldn't be fair. Also my son seems him as his dad, choose to call him daddy and their bond is amazing. We both felt if my partner went to visit the girls and he wasn't there for his birthday he would feel massively rejected and wonder what he's done wrong. So we have spoken to the ex wife who has no flew of the handle. My partner has said he would travel up the Saturday instead via train with our baby to see them but she is kicking off and saying it's unreasonable. And because for my birthday today and my sons birthday we are off to see a musical show instead of doing a party for my son she reckoned it shouldn't matter. What would your opinions and suggestions be?

We have just been informed we aren't allowed them down to stay over Christmas. We have been evicted as landlord is selling house and the only property we found was a two bedroom, which is less than ideal because our youngest keeps waking the eldest as he still wakes durn the night. But for a 3 bedroom we would be looking at £825 a month (the evicted one we paid £700) and council said we would only be entitled to two so housing benefit wouldn't cover it. So girls would have the lounge with their blown up ready beds. He is now seeking legal advice for w court order because it's getting silly. We get phone calls at 10 at night as the eldest kicks off having her tablet taken of her and she expects us to drive up at sort it out. How long do court orders usually take?? We have got the money together as he's done some extra hours and I've contributed some of my birthday money to the cause.

I thought you were split up anyway?

He's useless to those girls and never consistent.

WTF is with the booking a holiday and not taking the girls? He clearly doesn't care about seeing them because the holiday is booked for his Friday.

what she expecting us to do when we go away for two weeks next year as it's his two Fridays.

Sorry am I misreading? Have you booked a holiday next year without his kids that will mean he misses his contact twice in a row?

Oh wait til you see. Her family will have paid for it and they'll be taking her kids and the girls will understand ....

I'm a bit bemused about how OP thinks a court order will help him to cancel contact. A court order will be less flexible, not more.

Court order we have been told will allow us to still go on holiday and cancel visit that week as we checked with the solicitor we are speaking too.

The holiday was booked earlier this year which was the holiday my parents have paid for. And when we originally booked those Fridays weren't our contact days so be would have only missed one Friday... however we swapped the weekends around for the ex wife as her step kids visit when we have the girls for the evening so they get some one on one or something. We didn't mind as it fitted quite well. July, August, September, all were months we kept to the routine (except the one Friday in August because we had had them the week and she needed them back the Friday so it was mutual agreement) and October the k my Friday we didn't go was when our son was ill.

Yes we go away without them but the youngest insurance for hydrocephalus is sky high, plus they both need passports and my parents weren't happy to pay for everyone as they gave me the money for my ticket as both Boys tickets are free and I use my money and booked a cheaper holiday so I could take my partner to give me a break on holiday with the kids x

The holiday was paid for by OP's family. DeadbeatDad is obviously going as he doesn't give a shit about his dd and is leaving it up to their mum to sort out a holiday instead.

Yeah it's fine to leave out a child of her disability makes it too expensive. FFS.

But according to you her hydrocephalus was basically non existent in anither thread and the child wasn’t disabled by it at all?

And wtf with the x as if that makes it better? Hugs kisses to minimise what you are actually doing.

Thought you’d just - literally JUST - got your dad to convert the cupboard into a fab-U-lous bedroom for the girls?

Good parents don’t cancel on their children.

But OP thinks he's an "amazing" parent to the two boys. And that is literally all that matters to her.

Even though she has no issues with it and few check ups we still have to declare it on insurance forms as if she had a episode with it and we didn't they wouldn't pay out!

@lunar1 it's not the only reason at all. The reason is my parents paid. Yet again my parents for stuff, his mum couldn't even help us move but would for the ex and girls they take priority which is not fair on the boys especially as I have given her the first Grandson as she has 8 granddaughters. My mum is paying, she gave me £1200 for my ticket, I choose to have a cheaper holiday and use that money for us both because both boys are free!! We wouldn't have had enough for all of us to go with that £1200 and wt time of booking no spare to add the girls... plus we needed £100 for passports and nearly £300 for travel insurance which we didn't have; plus we would have needed to undergo tests and also appointments to check she could fly so was risky; and it makes it more stressful for everyone. So we are taking them to Butlin's next October. Because if the mum stops it we also haven't lost much money. If we wanted to add the girls on now we would need nearly £1000 it's not possible, and I'm not asking my family. His mum would even guarantor our house for us to move, even though
It was her sons CCJs that made us need one... so she would rather see the boys homeless. Ok if she doesn't treat my son the same as the girls fine I get that as I know my mum won't with girls but she should her actual grandson

Your post makes no sense.

Examples:

“Yet again my parents for stuff” means what?

“His mum would even guarantor our house”. What?

Wtf 'given her a grandson'. Do you think boy children are more special OP? After all she's already got 8 granddaughters so why on earth is she so bothered about your stepdaughters? They are old news!

Oh my god you actually do think you are the Golden Uterus and boys are superior to girls. 😱🤬

His mum would even guarantor our house for us to move, even though
It was her sons CCJs that made us need one

Haha. Her son is YOUR partner yes? You picked him!

Your parents may still pay for everything for you like a child but your MIL is under no obligation to do the same just because two adults can't get their shit together.

"Given her the first grandson"

WTF???

his mum couldn't even help us move but would for the ex and girls they take priority which is not fair on the boys especially as I have given her the first Grandson as she has 8 granddaughters.

You can't be serious. You are so entitled, and the part about her having 8 GD's shows you for the immature, bitter woman you are. Someone on his side needs to prioritise the girls, so good on her! Only one of those boys is anything to do with her - she's owes your eldest nothing. And as I said, I'd be embarrassed to have to admit your partner was my son, so maybe that plays a part in her reluctance to help you.

Op she does these things because your dp is such a shit father. You really expected her to favorite your ds like your dp does because he's a boy. Fucks sake.
Why the fuck would she be a guarantor for you when he's so awful with money.

And you want his mum to take the hit as guarantor because he can't manage his finances?? Unreal.