Birthdays and visits

[Lovelife12345]

So my partner has been going up to see his children Every other Friday now since about July, as Saturdays wasn't working with trains etc. We had to miss a Friday the other week as our baby was admitted into hospital overnight but then the following visit we stayed overnight and saw them for two days and bought them a gift from their baby brother to apologise and the ex wife although annoyed at first because he choose a sick baby over seeing the girls but soon apologised and realised he would be worried and not leave his side as it brought back memories of his youngest daughter hospital. But fast forward to his visit next Friday. Next Friday is my eldest son (his stepsons) birthday and I am not dragging him on a 4 hour round trip where he wouldn't see any of my family as they work until 5 otherwise plus he's 4 it wouldn't be fair. Also my son seems him as his dad, choose to call him daddy and their bond is amazing. We both felt if my partner went to visit the girls and he wasn't there for his birthday he would feel massively rejected and wonder what he's done wrong. So we have spoken to the ex wife who has no flew of the handle. My partner has said he would travel up the Saturday instead via train with our baby to see them but she is kicking off and saying it's unreasonable. And because for my birthday today and my sons birthday we are off to see a musical show instead of doing a party for my son she reckoned it shouldn't matter. What would your opinions and suggestions be?

We have just been informed we aren't allowed them down to stay over Christmas. We have been evicted as landlord is selling house and the only property we found was a two bedroom, which is less than ideal because our youngest keeps waking the eldest as he still wakes durn the night. But for a 3 bedroom we would be looking at £825 a month (the evicted one we paid £700) and council said we would only be entitled to two so housing benefit wouldn't cover it. So girls would have the lounge with their blown up ready beds. He is now seeking legal advice for w court order because it's getting silly. We get phone calls at 10 at night as the eldest kicks off having her tablet taken of her and she expects us to drive up at sort it out. How long do court orders usually take?? We have got the money together as he's done some extra hours and I've contributed some of my birthday money to the cause.

We have just had our calculation come
Through for csa and he is to pay £168 a month for our son. As he has no other children or lives with any. Xx

You've been getting at least that for ages!

I’m sure that figure was mentioned months ago too. I must go and search.

Why does he need 2 baths a day? Use a shower and your water bill should come right down. Why does an adult expect her parents and mother in law to help her financially? Grow up.

I don't even know why anyone even replies to this women!

Just leave her to get on with it! She writes things to wind you all up because you all bite at her. Stop replying and she'll stop writing posts! It's that easy

The hypocrisy and double standards of the op are like none I've ever seen!

Op you sound very much like my own step mother. She's a mega bitch and unfortunately my father has never had the backbone to stand up to her with regards to me or my db. She had my sister, her only and therefore only important child (fortunately me and dsis have a good relationship as adults) however she did her utmost to torpedo any chance of a decent relationship whilst we were growing up. I still can't stand her. You'll get your way and those girls will be better off without you or their spineless halfwit of a father in their lives.

Your (very poorly veiled) hatred of them oozes out in every post and they know as well as you do how much you dislike their very existence.

If you are real, you are such a stereotype, it's classical! The little girl who grew up the spoilt golden girl, who could do no wrong and was going to live the life or the riches, except you got a bit too enthusiastic too young, got pregnant early to a man who wasn't what your parents had envisioned for you, and then did it again with a second one!

So instead you live a life of pretend. The expensive new car, the latest iPhone, the nice clothes (that results in store/credit card debts), I bet your boys are all nicely dressed too.

You are recieving £200 in maintenance from your parents -how sad is that- and more from your ex for your one son than your OH is paying for his two girls and yet you brew in bitterness because of him having to pay anything at all.

You are living in middle class fantasy land. You want a life similar to what you were raised believing you would enjoy like your parents have. Problem is you picked you have kids with two losers instead of waiting to find a good rich boy to treat you like a princess. Your need to mother got you there, having kids too early and picking men who are kids themselves.

@Lovelife12345

Can you say one nice thing about your husband's daughters?

Just one nice thing. Go on. I dare you...!

I'm horrified at the way you speak about them. God forbid your husband's next partner treats your sons this way.

It's incredibly unfair expecting my parents to help with financial stuff and then on top so all the babysitting and helping etc.

You're 26! It's not normal to have financial and practical help (unless there's an emergency like illness) You are supposed to be an adult but your dependence on your parents has made you almost as infantile as your partner(S)