Birthdays and visits

[Lovelife12345]

So my partner has been going up to see his children Every other Friday now since about July, as Saturdays wasn't working with trains etc. We had to miss a Friday the other week as our baby was admitted into hospital overnight but then the following visit we stayed overnight and saw them for two days and bought them a gift from their baby brother to apologise and the ex wife although annoyed at first because he choose a sick baby over seeing the girls but soon apologised and realised he would be worried and not leave his side as it brought back memories of his youngest daughter hospital. But fast forward to his visit next Friday. Next Friday is my eldest son (his stepsons) birthday and I am not dragging him on a 4 hour round trip where he wouldn't see any of my family as they work until 5 otherwise plus he's 4 it wouldn't be fair. Also my son seems him as his dad, choose to call him daddy and their bond is amazing. We both felt if my partner went to visit the girls and he wasn't there for his birthday he would feel massively rejected and wonder what he's done wrong. So we have spoken to the ex wife who has no flew of the handle. My partner has said he would travel up the Saturday instead via train with our baby to see them but she is kicking off and saying it's unreasonable. And because for my birthday today and my sons birthday we are off to see a musical show instead of doing a party for my son she reckoned it shouldn't matter. What would your opinions and suggestions be?

We have just been informed we aren't allowed them down to stay over Christmas. We have been evicted as landlord is selling house and the only property we found was a two bedroom, which is less than ideal because our youngest keeps waking the eldest as he still wakes durn the night. But for a 3 bedroom we would be looking at £825 a month (the evicted one we paid £700) and council said we would only be entitled to two so housing benefit wouldn't cover it. So girls would have the lounge with their blown up ready beds. He is now seeking legal advice for w court order because it's getting silly. We get phone calls at 10 at night as the eldest kicks off having her tablet taken of her and she expects us to drive up at sort it out. How long do court orders usually take?? We have got the money together as he's done some extra hours and I've contributed some of my birthday money to the cause.

The op won’t get a 3 bed council house so even if she does she will still be in the same boat regarding bedrooms.

*even if she does get offered one

@Chardeemacdennis1

We are in a two bed house at the moment... the lounge is big enough they could
Sleep different ends. The bedrooms however are so small that we could fit w fold out bed in the boys room as we have the toddler bed for my son and the cot for my baby... there is no space to pop boys in our room with us as we have just enough space to walk around the bed.

And yes I am guilty of wanting him on holiday. I took my eldest son abroad on my own when he was 14 months for two weeks and it was hard work: the holiday was already booked before my ex husband left. So yes I would like him to come with me, I work hard and long hours and do a lot of driving when he visit stbe girls that I would
Like him to come on holiday for us to enjoy the boys together and also so I can have a break whilst away too and we can share the parenting. It's not unreasonable. My mum can't come because she works in a school and school holiday abroad are expesenive and my work doesn't allow school holidays off.

Hadn’t you separated from this waste of space so he could learn to live like an adult?

Iirc there was something about a theme park in the mix as wel or tell me there isn’t more than one like you in the universe?

Btw, I give the book 0 stars. Time to get yourself a dayjob, the writing career ain’t panning out love.

So you want him on holiday to parent you’re boys but not parent his dd.

@Winterishere2018 it's not tk parent his boys. It's to enjoy the experience with them. They will be having fun, trying new things and seeing new things and I don't want him
Missing out on that because the boys have a holiday. Leaving him at home working. We all deserve a holiday from work. It will be my youngest first plane journey and I want him part of that. And for him to be able to sit with them so I can have a hour to myself or I can have w massage, or as it's all inclusive not have to drag both boys up to get the food:

So he misses contact because you need him there in holiday. He will miss contact because its your sons birthday. What other shit are you gonna put these girls through. Its like you enjoy making it clear they don't matter.

You know actions speak louder. And your actions show you don’t care about those girls. I can’t beleive he’s going to miss a month of contact to go on holiday with you and your two boys. He is a disgrace. And you are just as bad. Those girls deserve better and it’s good that at least their mother is stable and sensible.

You two definitely aren’t with the together not together separated sleep,in a cupboard no it’s a bedroom can’t be arsed this week. Remember this man made up LIES to get out of contact with his children. He CHOSE to move away when he doesn’t drive and he has CHOSEN to do less hours so as to have less maintenance to pay.

SummerGems different names but all the same poster.

This holiday is booked during school term so therefore the girls wouldn't have been able to come anyway. No need to use the cost excuse, they weren't welcome from the start.

We are in a two bed house at the moment... the lounge is big enough they could Sleep different ends. The bedrooms however are so small that we could fit w fold out bed in the boys room as we have the toddler bed for my son and the cot for my baby... there is no space to pop boys in our room with us as we have just enough space to walk around the bed.

Thats my point. You're pushing for overnight contact but you don't have anywhere for the girls to sleep.

Maybe wait until you can actually accommodate them appropriately before you push to have them for the weekend. Maybe get your dp to learn to drive as well.

Stop spinning money on theme park passes and zoo passes and expensive holidays and then you won’t have to gurn that the girls want adult meals when you all go out to eat and your step dad is paying.

*Spending

And tell your mum you can’t afford holidays. Cancel and get as much as you can of the money back and at least it won’t cost you more in spending money.

Could someone else not go with you instead? What about your mum?

Is there a reason that you never take on any of the advice you’re given on these threads?

Doesn’t it make you question things when pretty much everyone disagrees with you?

It also feels like the story changes every time. I thought the reason you had to go abroad is because your mum was paying and chose the dates? Now you’re saying she isn’t going? Who is actually going on this holiday?

I also thought you were going with your mum and stepdad on the holiday which was why you had to go when you did. What's the scoop here?

Thorpe Park I believe, Summer. Apparently her family paid again. IIRC OP was complaining that the ex was a bit put out that they were visiting the girls' home town to drop their boys with the MIL (the one who apparently never helps) and he didn't bother to pop in and see them.

Ah yes that was the one. By hadn’t he moved out at the time? So how is it that he’s now living back there? Or could it be that the penny dropped that once he moved out he wasn’t actually interested in the OP’s pfb who given he’s not his biological child isn’t exactly that surprising given he doesn’t give two shits about the children he actually did father?

What about your brilliant new job OP? the one where your ex had to drop his hours to fuck all so he could look after your two boys but minimise his maintenance obligations?

I have you heard yourself experience with the “boys” what about experience holidaying abroad with his girls going on an aeroplane warm weather sandy beaches but no butlins will do for them that’s ok is it? Pull the other leg.

My mum gave us the money: it is me, my two boys and my partner going on holiday.. mum can't go as she works in a school. My mother in law has helped once and he is now 15 months old! We didn't have time to visit them and it wasn't our weekend to see them.

He is going to see the girls and get the train and I'll just wake the youngest to collect him at 11pm from train station. We got abusive messages up until 1am last night so she won in that keeping on got her what she wanted. So now she will no
In future just to keep on until he will back down. We havtaken him out of nursery for the day so we will take him out for a birthday breakfast before my partner gets the train up.

So it is entirely your choice that you haven't included the girls. disgraceful.

So your mum gave you £1200 for a holiday and you chose to use it for a holiday abroad excluding his kids. Why did you say before that you had no choice but to not take them? You could have used that £1200 for a holiday in the UK with all of the kids. Stop pretending you had no choice when you clearly did.

I think swing is right and you’re just incredibly spoiled and entitled. No one owes you free holidays or babysitting for crying out loud!

Is this the Disney trip you were going on about a few threads ago?

And the ex didn't win, she just made sure your partner sticks to the schedule, something he will need to get used to if it gets court ordered. He sees your son everyday, his daughters a few days a month and only if has time.

Not really. Mum gave it to me to go abroad with; and states it was to go abroad. She told me the budget she was going to pay
And we then looked at holidays and she came into book and pay for it. She specifically said she wanted us to go abroad and take our youngest on his first plane. Every year we have always gone abroad and she didn't want us tk miss out again next year