Oh dear our holiday is not going well

[QueenOfIce]

Was getting on so well with dsd, she had really turned a corner and so dh and I booked a holiday of her choosing.

It's day 5 we have 5 to go and it's going to be the longest of my life. I don't understand why she's so rude or disrespectful to us. She is so very very entitled. Dh is doing his best and I won't step in but he's finding it hard too.

Thank goodness for wine! 🍇

Hope you survived it Op!

I have survived! Never have I been so happy to get up knowing that this time tomorrow I will be a at home! Dsd told us she was coming in at 1am whether we liked it or not. We both said 'ok' she came in 10 mins past the agreed time and this morning is very grumpy.

I have the bill and she went over the agreed amount per day but she doesn't give a shit. So awful person I am I've pretty much said don't ask me for anything for the foreseeable the answer is no.

Seems reasonable! Sorry I'm still paying off that holiday we took you on!

No it's not reasonable. It's not SD problem its DH problem. He is at fault for allowing her to ruin your holiday and undermining you when you tried to do something.

Had a long chat with dh last night, he seems to think he challenges her when he feels necessary and not always when I feel it is. I guess what we have are different expectations of how dsd should behave.

I'd like him to be a little stricter he doesn't want to be micromanaging her and we don't seem to be able to find a middle ground. My expectation is that she isn't rude to us and treats us in a decent manner. He doesn't appear to notice when she's rude he's immune.

Because her parents don't pick her up on her behaviour very often I can't expect her to treat me well and then revert to rude behaviour with them there's a big difference in how we see things.

Anyway holiday hell is almost over! I have spoken to dsd she knows where we stand. This time next week all will be well and we will have moved on and hopefully found some sort of compromise haha as if thank you all so much for the great advice and the ears.

Sometimes MN really is the best tonic

You’ve navigated this amazingly well! I take my hat off to you.

My compromise would be to let your DH and his DD go on holiday alone. I work hard and if my holiday time and my money was being treated like this, there would be absolutely zero chance of my time and my money being spent in this way eve again. His DD, his rules. His time. His money.

Agreed to the not funding and going on their holidays again, seeing as how he thinks you're being unfair obviously.

It’s not micromanaging, it’s called parenting.

My step kids can be very sassy to DH, and also talk to him like he’s their mate not their dad and an adult.

I put my boundaries down early on, as I won’t tolerate being spoken to like that. They very rarely give me any cheek, and a raised eyebrow is all that’s needed when they forget.

He’ll also ask them 10 times to do something, whereas I only have to ask once.

Just because your DH is happy to be disrespected doesn’t mean you have to be.

OP - for just wanted to send you well wishes.

His daughters behaviour is unacceptable (since when was it ok for a 13 year old to stay out until 1am)?! And as for the way she speaks to you - totally out of order. It might be ok for kids to treat some people like shit, but personally I don’t tolerate it. People seem to think this behaviour is normal - it’s not. And god help them when they get out into the big wide world.

As others have said - let your OH deal with her and pay for this entitled behaviour.

"I have the bill and she went over the agreed amount per day but she doesn't give a shit. So awful person I am I've pretty much said don't ask me for anything for the foreseeable the answer is no."

You really are NOT an awful person, that is exactly the right thing to do! If only your DH could see it that way.

Hope you get some sleep tonight anyway!

I would advise avoiding cruises unless you are able to get a family room that has separate areas.

We thought it would be perfect, no food issues, teen club, can't get lost and see a bit more than the usual.

Big big mistake. Most days there was nothing in the (mega) buffet that she liked. Having to share a cabin with a Pullman above our bed so every time she lost a pillow it landed on me!

Teen club was excellent though, we never had to worry about what was going on as there was a crew member in the vicinity at all times. She made some friends and got to enjoy coming home at 1am and feeling more independent.

Heading to the airport dsd is ignoring me and I cannot wait to get home and have a cup of tea!

I feel a little sad that dsd hasn't had the best time but I do have to remind myself that's because of how she chose to behave at times. We did have some nice times and some laughs so not all bad. However there will never be another QueenOfIce 'family' holiday.

Next year I'm staying at home with my cats..oh and it rained a lot!

Happy holidays y'all

To be honest, it all went wrong the moment you agreed to share a room. They are small enough for two! It might not have been nice to you, but I can't imagine as a teenager having to be in so intimate proximity to one of my parent and SP, so there might be an element of this that has caused her behaviour.

Anyway, wait until she comes home and tell everyone who wants to hear it how a fantastic time she's had!! And for you, just think how wonderful your next cruise with OH will be without her. You'll enjoy it twice more :)

Are you safely home now?

Go, go, go for the upgrade, and make her father stay in the room with her on the last night....even if he has to sleep on the floor!

Oh I see a cruise, with a pull down teen bed! Well to anyone considering this, insist on adjoining rooms, double on one side, single on the other, kids then also get to have their own bathroom!

Just read the thread about, Get your drunken arses down here
Have to admit, it first made me giggle, then I was furious at her/for you!
For goodness sake, can you imagine any of us saying that to our parents, at 13.......grounded for a month!

Home now, dsd at her mums and I have a stinking cold. Karma for being a wicked stepmum