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Original poster

Anyone want to accompany me while i sleep train DD?

523 replies

MrsKoala · 07/12/2017 13:58

I am starting to sleep train 13mo DD tonight. She has been a terrible sleeper since birth and always co-slept on the boob. I had a consultation with a sleep expert today who has talked me thru a gentle process of sleep training.

I am starting tonight as DH is away for a week from next Thursday, so i want it in place for then. DH is not particularly supportive because he hates them crying (and i love it obviously Hmm ) so it would be great if there was someone who was doing theirs at the same time for a mutual support group!

OP posts:
Belle1409 · 07/12/2017 14:04

Following with interest, I need to do the same with my 14 month old. What sleep consultant did you use and what technique have they recommended?

Belle1409 · 07/12/2017 14:04

Forgot to say - good luck for tonight!

Original poster
MrsKoala · 07/12/2017 14:17

Thanks.

Its similar to the no cry solution i think. Its very gentle. Involves a gentle bed time and then me staying next to the cot for as long as it takes for her to fall asleep. But more importantly it is no more feeding in the night or to sleep.

DD has only ever co-slept so it will be strange enough her being in a cot without anything like me leaving. i can cuddle her and rub her back and stomach, but not take her out. I can speak to her and sing soothingly (obviously hasn't heard my dreadful voice!) too.

I will put ds2 (3) to bed first about 6.30, then start dd after and then be prepared to stick at it all night. Dh will put ds1 (5) to bed when he comes in at 7.45.

I feel positive but nervous.

OP posts:
LapinR0se · 07/12/2017 17:36

Good luck Mrs K. Am cheering you on

FannyTheFlamingo · 07/12/2017 17:51

Good luck!! We're on night 8 now. Wine helped me get through the first night! My DP isn't much help either, so I can sympathise. Let us know how you get on. Hopefully once tonight is out the way, you'll be over the worst.

Sparrowlegs248 · 07/12/2017 18:11

MrsKoala - I posted on Fannys thread. This is pretty much what I did with Ds1 at the same age. It was gradual retreat really but really gradual. I stayed standing over the cot for 3 nights, leaning in, singing patting etc. Siting next to the cot (spent a few nights laying on the floor arm through the bars , first trimaster exhaustion.......)

Basically my computer sleeping, non napping, ebf baby went to sleep on his own in 75 minutes. No crying. (Because I did a lot of comforting g)

I did still collecting sleep and bf from night waking though but by 15 months he was sleeping through till 4 am

Good luck!

KimchiLaLa · 07/12/2017 18:14

Let us know how it goes Mrs K. I have followed your other threads too :))

Sparrowlegs248 · 07/12/2017 18:15

Co sleeping not collecting!

SallyLockhartsDog · 07/12/2017 18:17

Watching with interest. My DS1 feeds all night & co sleeps....

RockinRobinTweets · 07/12/2017 18:19

Good luck, for the best. Your back must be so sore!

imcrackersme · 07/12/2017 18:21

Following. I need to do this with my 10 month old. I plan to start next week when we have come back from family.

CatSneeze · 07/12/2017 18:38

This has come at perfect timing. 12mo DS currently does go to sleep in his cot, on his own, with just me sitting on other side of the room but he’s still waking for feeds 3-4 times a night and I’m exhausted. I want this sorted by Christmas! We don’t live in UK at the moment and we’re travelling back home for Christmas and will be staying with family and it would just be amazing if we could transform him in to a great sleeper by then! Maybe DH and I could even slip out for a meal once he’s down while we have babysitters around- something we’ve only done once since he was born and it was a disaster!!!

We started doing gradual retreat back in September back when he was waking 9+ times a night and saw a massive improvement really quickly but since then we’ve sort of plateaued and I think now the only way forward it to cut the feeding through the night. Not sure how to do this, are you going completely cold turkey? I can’t imagine him getting through the night or any of us getting any sleep without feeding him at all..

Sorry for the waffle, in short- I’m in!!

Orlofina · 07/12/2017 19:08

Just seen this thread and wanted to say “same here!”. Wasn’t keen on sleep training but Dd just feel asleep on her own for the first(!) time last night which I took to be a sign that she was ready!

She is ebf and it was taking 60mins+ to get her sleep every night as well as waking multiple times in the night. So far she is asleep now after 20mins of grumbling-cries.

Good luck for tonight everyone!

Orlofina · 07/12/2017 19:11

Just wanted to say that we’re doing CC (don’t shoot me!) as gradual retreat seemed too stimulating for DD. Feel we’ve been doing gradual retreat, without managing the retreat, for months

FannyTheFlamingo · 07/12/2017 19:19

I'm doing CC as well, so no judgment here. Hopefully this thread will stay supportive!

newmum7369 · 07/12/2017 19:25

Following with interest as having a terrible time with DS1's sleep. I posted about it earlier, he's only 4 months so obviously way way to young for any kind of sleep training but I'm interested to learn more about different methods so that I feel a bit less like a duck out of water if I do need to resort to something later on. Wishing you all the best of luck.

CatSneeze · 07/12/2017 19:35

Well, as I said, gradual retreat got us to this point which was fab but we are a bit stuck here too and needing to try something else. Last night we left DS for 10 mins without going in at all when he woke up at 10.30pm and he resettled himself just as I was about to go in and he slept until 1.30am. He then woke up every 2 hours until 7am but that initial resettling all by himself without any intervention by us was amazing and I think may be key for him/us. I guess that’s technically CC so no judgement here. I’m watching him on the monitor and always listen to check that he’s not genuinely distressed and just grumpy but it does break my heart!

riddles26 · 07/12/2017 19:36

Good luck! We sleep trained using PUPD when just under 6 months with brilliant success but thanks to never ending teething, it's been one step forward then 2 steps back in getting her down at night.

She's now almost 14 months and I use the same withdrawal technique to get her into cot and asleep. Takes patience but you will get there

Original poster
MrsKoala · 07/12/2017 20:27

80 mins in and still screaming. :(

OP posts:
Kentnurse2015 · 07/12/2017 20:30

You need the full support of your DH really otherwise what's the point?

FannyTheFlamingo · 07/12/2017 20:38

MrsK Thanks I know how tough it is. Did the sleep consultant tell you to just stick with it, even if it's all night? Take each day as it comes. Tonight will be awful, tomorrow hopefully a little better.

MarieG10 · 07/12/2017 20:41

I learnt after a month of screaming and awake all night from birth. Implemented strict routine and he started sleeping, and sleeping through from 12 weeks. Was just amazing ge change. Did same with daughter from birth and she was a delight. Only slept in our room for a couple of weeks and no more.
It will be tough as they get so used to co sleepimg and having their own way!

FannyTheFlamingo · 07/12/2017 20:42

Kentnurse - I'm doing CC on my own, without DP's help. I've given up going to the gym 3 nights a week (my only social life!) because he wouldn't stick to the CC 'rules' and it would do DD no favours. I've gone past being pissed off with him and now I'm just proud of myself that I'm managing to do it on my own!

Kentnurse2015 · 07/12/2017 20:44

@MarieG10 I think you are at the other extreme end of the spectrum and probably not what the OP wants to hear right now

Kentnurse2015 · 07/12/2017 20:45

@FannyTheFlamingo it makes me sad that you are doing things without support. It is his child too. In fact not sad, it makes me really angry.