Anyone want to accompany me while i sleep train DD?

[MrsKoala]

I am starting to sleep train 13mo DD tonight. She has been a terrible sleeper since birth and always co-slept on the boob. I had a consultation with a sleep expert today who has talked me thru a gentle process of sleep training.

I am starting tonight as DH is away for a week from next Thursday, so i want it in place for then. DH is not particularly supportive because he hates them crying (and i love it obviously ) so it would be great if there was someone who was doing theirs at the same time for a mutual support group!

I don't want to jinx it but we are having a really good couple of days. Yesterday was good. I Kept DD busy all morning out and then fed her and she napped 11-1. Then i didn't feed her all afternoon. gave her a big lunch and played and saw my mum. She had bath and went down at 7.15 with no drama. She woke at 8.45 and dh went into bed with her and she then only woke 2 more times in the night and got up at 6am. I gave her a big morning feed then and then lots of porridge at 8. At 8.30 she was asking for bf but i put her in the buggy and took the boys to school and then took her n to a toddler group where she played happily. At 10.30 i gave her a packet of carrot crisps (which she loves) and she happily sat and ate quietly. Then at 11 we left and went for a walk and she slept 11.30-1pm. Then woke and had big bowl of pasta (her favourite). SHe's now playing contentedly and doing drawings while i sort stuff for dinner.

I'm not sure whether to offer bf this afternoon or let it go to bedtime (my boob feels ready to burst but i don't want to give it if she doesn't want it).

Huge well done MrsK, your post has already comes across as so much happier. Keep doing what you're doing! Don't panic if things do slip up a little bit, we all know that it's like 2 steps forward and 1 back! But yes it seems keeping her distracted and full of yummy food is the way to go!
DS was up again last night at 1.30 wanting to come into my bed. I gave in and he settles immediately til 7.15am. I know I need to stop giving in but I can't quite remember what I did last time! Going to have a read back to see if I wrote about it last time he was playing this game. But on a positive, he has done both naps in his cot today without causing a fuss.

That sounds good Boodles. If dd would settle like that i'd happily have her in the bed with me. I love co sleeping. I tried to settle her the other night and the moment she saw me she went ballistic. after 15 mins i left and DH took over and within 5 mins she was back asleep. Seeing me just frustrates her as she wants the boob.

She asked for bf at 2.30pm so she had 30 mins on there. But i didn't let her fall asleep. She wanted the cuddle tho and it was nice. It's easy for me to let her go on the boob and sleep because i've been so tired. But i got 6 hours straight last night and i feel great today.

I've been playing with her, I've prepped dinner, i had a great game with the kids on the way home from school rather than shouting at them. It's so much easier to parent when i'm not exhausted. i also don't look half deadened even managed tinted moisturiser and mascara this morning.

I don't sleep well though otherwise it wouldn't be a problem. I end up having all sorts of dreams that he's falling out the bed etc. Plus I know he can sleep perfectly fine now in his own room!
It's defo much easier to parent with some sleep. Just that little top up of energy, patience and get rid of the frustration and it does you the world of good. I still look like a zombie though! If DS could get me a 12 hour sleep and a facial for mother's day I'll be very happy!

Oh well done! Fab update. What great progress

Can your dh now start to try and settle her when she wakes at 9ish and avoid getting straight into bed with her? If you can keep pushing it back you might reach a point where she'll sleep alone.

She sounds a bright little girl tbh and if the nursery stimulation helps, I'd go with it.

yeah, I think that'll be the next step.

DS2 has come down with bloody croup now so he isn't sleeping yet and is coughing lots.

DS2 loud croupy cough woke dd at 8.30. DH was still putting ds1 to bed so i had to go in to her and of course she screamed for bf. DH came in about 10 mins later and settled her, again in just a few mins. Then he came down for dinner and went back up at 9.30 - altho she was still asleep, he was just tired.

She woke for a while crying at about 3am but he persevered and she then dropped back off and that was her only other wake up.

DS2 is waking at 4am every morning and wanting to get up or have a chat [confused ]and DS1 is taking about 45 mins to get to sleep. He has melatonin now so that has reduced the time by half but i want to get it down to 20 mins really.

Well done MrsK that's great progress with your DD in such a short space of time.
My DS woke at 9.15 I went in twice and then he settled after about 10 mins. He woke again about 12.30 and I just couldn't bare to do it again so gave in & he slept with me til 6.30am.
I find that I need to be in the right frame of mind to do CC. I'm having a tough stressful time at the mo and don't feel mentally stong enough to let him cry. It's so crap that they just regress back so easily after you think you have cracked it!

Things appear to be going well with what we have done so far. DD is sleeping with dh with only 2-3 minor wake ups and quick pats back to sleep. But Dh has to go away in 9 days time for 4 days. So i want to step up the sleep training to be leaving her in the bed alone and dh going in to pat her and seeing if she can go all night before he goes. Otherwise it's going to be back to square 1 again and i am going to be co-sleeping with all 3 and she'll be back on the boob all night.

This is why I want to sleep train and DH doesn't care. It's never me who has to go away overnight and is left with all 3 for nights at a time.

Great news well done. Yes definitely start stepping it up like you said. The last thing you want is to be going back to co-sleeping & feeding all night.
Why is your DH so against the training? Surely he can see what a difference it has made to your DD already?

I've had improvement with my DS too. He's been to nursery the last 2 days which has really tired him out so I've managed to get him back in his cot. Last night was just one wake up, I settled him once and he cried for about a minute before going back to sleep.

He doesn't want her to cry. He doesn't want to keep getting up to see to her all night. He thinks only in the moment so will do the path of least resistance every time. If he will get more sleep THIS night with her in bed then he thinks that should win over hard work now which will pay off in the future.

His motto is 'an easy lie is better than a hard truth' which is carried through pretty much everything he does.

Fair enough. I think you will definitely need to give him a push towards leaving DD to sleep on her own though.
His way of thinking is fine if he's willing to sleep all night with her but not when he goes away for days at a time.

Yes, that's always been my argument. He goes away overnight so it's not him left with all 3 co sleeping and i really don't want to go back to feeding her all night. For the main thing it'll confuse the hell out of her.

Yeah it will confuse her. You made such great progress already, you will just have to keep going, try and make small changes every couple of days and hopefully she will be sleeping alone by the time your DH goes away again.

Did DH stay in on Friday?

Yes he did. He's off to Holland tomo for 2 days and then Dubai next week for 5 days and then Africa in a few weeks. So i'm doing all the nights. DD has been getting better but still can't go thru the night without 2-3 wake ups and needs someone next to her (dh has slept on the floor for a few nights). DS2 is waking for 1-2 hours most nights too and DS1 has started getting up at 11.30pm!

It's been pretty hectic here. We had ds1 parents evening and they suspect he has dyslexia along with everything else. Which i did think was probable but i feel sad about it. His colour blindness is also very extreme and he is struggling with motor skills. His eating isn't improving and he has a lot of stomach pain and constipation. I have bought some card to try a sticker chart again for him - hoping now he's older he'll focus better - to try to get him to go to bed and stay there. We will see.

Once he is in his own bed we will try with ds2.

How is everyone else?

Great that your DH has managed to move to the floor.
Sorry to hear about your DS1 but I'm sure he will get plenty of help and support going forward.

I had a good few nights with DS, only waking early about 6 ish but that was ok. He now has a cold again and possibly another tooth about to appear and last night was just awful. Up from 1.30am, I was adamant that I was going to stay strong, just kept checking on him every 5 mins and laying back down. But after several hours I gave up about 4.30. I'm wondering if he had belly ache too as he was really squirming around and lifting legs up. He's never been awake for that long before. How naps are a bit all over the place too so I think he's probably ready to drop a nap but I still can't get him to sleep for longer when he only has one. So dropping a nap literally halves the nap sleep he has.

DS slept through til 6.30am so I think I was right about him having belly ache the night before! Just hope that he continues to sleep well! We are staying in a hotel next weekend for a wedding, which we haven't done with him before so I'm praying that the unfamiliar setting and possible late night doesn't affect him.

That's good Boodles. I think they do get tummy aches like that when they are little.

DD has started a campaign of waking at 5 every morning up for the day. Which is bollocks. DH got back last night at 11.30 and she had slept 6.45-9.45 then when i tried to settle her she was very upset - her back bottom right tooth is coming thru and her gum is very swollen.I gave her call and a little bf and she went back to sleep and dh took over when he got home.

He's off on Monday for 4 days and it's going to be very tough.

But on a really amazing note, yesterday was a double first. DS2 did a wee on the potty for the first time ever. It's taken nearly a year of trying to get to that (altho he's wet himself twice today). And more importantly DS1 went to bed without being laid with for 30 mins.

We have started our sticker chart and agreed with him that he will go up, have 2 books and then lights out and we will sit on the edge of the bed for 10 mins and then leave. Last night was the first night and he fussed a little about being scared but was asleep within 5 mins - NO HAIR TOUCHING!!

The new routine is all upstairs at 5.30 after dinner, bath and playing with lego till 6.30. At 6pm the boys have hot chocolate and DS1 has his melatonin. At 6.30 i take DD to the bed and do teeth, book, song and bf while the boys play lego. 7pm DS2 teeth cleaned and bed. 7.15 DS1 go to bed for books with lights out at 7.30. 7.45 i go and pour a glass of wine and eat my dinner at 8 :)

Wow MrsK well done! Great routine so keep it going! And the well deserved glass of wine at the end! X

How is everyone doing?
Is your DH back yet MrsK?
I'm still having a bit of a tough time with DS. It's just been one constant illness and now teething so sleep is all over the place. He has also changed keyworker at nursery and is hardly napping. He's waking earlier and earlier every day and I'm just kinda stumped at how to deal with this.

How are things these days MrsKoala?