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Original poster

Anyone want to accompany me while i sleep train DD?

523 replies

MrsKoala · 07/12/2017 13:58

I am starting to sleep train 13mo DD tonight. She has been a terrible sleeper since birth and always co-slept on the boob. I had a consultation with a sleep expert today who has talked me thru a gentle process of sleep training.

I am starting tonight as DH is away for a week from next Thursday, so i want it in place for then. DH is not particularly supportive because he hates them crying (and i love it obviously Hmm ) so it would be great if there was someone who was doing theirs at the same time for a mutual support group!

OP posts:
IsaSchmisa · 09/12/2017 12:49

Your DH is a dick as usual, but it sounds like you're in the process of cracking night weaning with DD. That's not nothing. I appreciate that next weekend is going to be appalling, but if you can move towards DH usually sleeping with DD and her only waking briefly overnight as the norm, that's great isn't it? It might even be an idea if he does DD and you the boys for now, while you continue nightweaning.

Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 12:58

Yes Isa, i think that'll be the way we go. DD seems happy enough and doesn't seem to miss the night feeds at all. Just a habit we both got into to try to get some sleep i think. She's probably as tired as me most of the time!

Poor MrKoala tho! Wink

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IsaSchmisa · 09/12/2017 13:03

Poor? Just dealing with a couple of quick wakeups that were solved with shush pat is a pretty easy night in your house, isn't it?!

I agree DD is probably knackered too.

Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 13:08

No i was joking because you called him a dick! Grin

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boodles101 · 09/12/2017 15:00

Great that your DD didn't need to be settled by you mrsK
I don't understand why men are so crappy about sleep with babies! On the very odd occasion mine actually gets up in the night, he always says..shall I rock him?? No!!! I've already had to break that habit too!
He always seems to wake him up from naps by making a load of noise when DS is finishing a sleep cycle!
But we are off out for dinner tonight, a much needed date night after zero quality time together since DS came along. My mum is babysitting so fingers crossed he goes to bed fine with her!

Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 15:11

It's the speaking really loudly in the hallway right outside the bedroom that DH, my dad and FIL does which makes me Confused . I say please be quiet as x is sleeping, they say 'oh right' in a theatrical mock whisper and then just blunder on talking loudly or shouting up the stairs to me if i want a cup of tea or something. I get Angry and then i get 'God, you are so rude and touchy, how am i meant to know shouting outside a sleeping babies room might wake them??'

Confused Confused Angry

OP posts:
IsaSchmisa · 09/12/2017 16:08

They're like that because they're not the ones who suffer because of it, so they haven't learned.

Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 16:11

I do make dh deal with it tho. He just can’t seem to think ahead and doesn’t really care if the kids are up till midnight. He doesn’t get routine at all.

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FannyTheFlamingo · 09/12/2017 16:38

My PILs are like this. When we go to visit, DD will be napping on the sofa and they'll both repeatedly come in, lean over the sofa and talk loudly. Drives me mad.

I'm jealous boodles! DP and I still haven't had a date night since DD was born. Hope you have a great night.

Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 17:00

With my male relatives there's definitely an element of arrogance of 'my thoughts are so interesting i must express them the moment they pop in my head'. My dad will be walking past the dc bedrooms and have a random thought like 'did i tell you i bumped into x the other day?' and will just shout it out. Me and Mum go SHUSH!! and he gets the waps and says sulkily 'oh i'm sorreeeeee for speaking'. We have tried to explain that it isn't the speaking we object to, but if he could perhaps hold that thought till he comes into the living room and then express it at a normal volume when there is a natural gap in the conversation other people are having!

Have a good date Boodles - where are you going? DH and i had a date in October, which was really nice. I wore a non breast feeding bra and everything - not that he got to see it of course! Grin

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Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 17:01

Meant to say dd has now been napping for 3 hours!

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Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 09/12/2017 18:26

Wake dd up or you'll never get her to bed tonight!

LapinR0se · 09/12/2017 19:31

Agree, you’ve got to be strict on nap times too if the whole thing is going to work

toomanyflatwhites · 09/12/2017 19:33

I've been lurking for the past few days as tonight has been planned as the night I start weaning...my DP is similarly useless (he wants the sleep issues to be sorted, and can rationally agree with me in daylight hours that if he were go to her in the night she might settle without BF, but then if she has a meltdown and I am not feeding her he just ends up yelling at me "you know what she wants! Give her boob NOW!!" Hmm)
Anyway so he is away until Wednesday, and I'm giving it a go. DD is 19 months, only feeds at bedtime/night, but she has always fed to sleep and each feed is 1 hour and lately she has been waking twice a night (so am feeding 3 hours a night in total). I work full time now and am so over it...
Feeling really nervous about how on earth I'll get her to sleep (she has always had a late bedtime!) and if I will manage to stick with the plan to go pretty much cold turkey!

Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 19:34

yes, i will down the line but, the sleep consultant said to just concentrate on the nights and i think the 'sleep begets sleep' is meaning she is napping more. Also i think she has this cold.

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LapinR0se · 09/12/2017 19:38

I’d check timings with the sleep consultant if I were you. Yes nights are the focus and yes sleep begets sleep but it is not fair to expect your DD to go to bed well at a reasonable hour if she’s sleeping too long and too late.

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 09/12/2017 19:56

Also agree that sleep begets sleep but if she's still asleep at 5 after 3 hours she won't go to bed at 7pm.
Maybe once she's over the cold get her down earlier if she needs a three hour nap. Hope tonight isn't too bad Flowers

Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 19:58

Yes. I agree. Again it was a complete ‘out of routine the kids fit in’ approach of dh. He took her out to soft play at 11 which is her nap time and then she fell asleep exhausted at 2pm on the way home.

He feels completely at the mercy of routine and thinks if we stick to things we will never leave the house.

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Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 20:04

I mean the kids should fit in with you approach.

Both dh and I are only children and by all accounts were extremely adaptable. Our parents just took us everywhere, we fell asleep when we wanted, ate when hungry etc. Dh’s parents managed property so just took him along to work with them. Popped up the cot and cracked on. Stopped at little chef for dinner on the way home and put him to bed straight from the car. They kept him in pjs all day.

He can’t understand why our dc are so inflexible.

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LapinR0se · 09/12/2017 20:12

I would have woken her up at 3.30 for a 7pm bedtime. Just because a baby sleeps at the wrong time, doesn’t mean you have to just let them sleep. I agree flexibility is really important by the way but you’ve got to be practical too

Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 20:15

Yes. We just haven’t seen her enjoy sleep so much and thought she might be poorly.

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rachelracket · 09/12/2017 20:58

jesus reading about your dh is making me angry.

anyway, can't help you there although you seem strangely content with his 'help'. but anyway, have i misunderstood - is DD in a gro bag, or under a blanket?

Original poster
MrsKoala · 09/12/2017 21:05

I am resigned to what I get. I have learned not to expect any more. Getting angry is just futile - although I do. But it never does any good.

Anyway, enough about him. Dd co sleeps in the bed under blankets at the mo. I will get a gro bag for her cot.

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Sparrowlegs248 · 09/12/2017 21:15

I never woke Ds1 from a nap. He's not pleasant to be around and whatever sleep issues he had many he could nap til 6 and then go to bed at 7. If she's poorly I wouldn't have woken her, even if it means a 9 pm bedtime .

How did bedtime go tonight?

woofmiaowwoof · 09/12/2017 21:28

I agree with lapin - we sleep trained both dc about this age and it’s wonderful to have evenings and nights back. You deserve a medal for putting up with your DH, I’ve read other threads and he seems to constantly undermine you but I understand that you love him.

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