Posters hiding the sex board won't change MN dynamics.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

This new policy of 'if you don't like it, don't look' doesn't seem to be about making Mumsnet a safer place more welcoming and inclusive place, it seems to be more about 'look the other way if you are offended'.

One issue with this is that once threads get into active, people then post in the wrong place. Explicit threads won't stay on the Sex board, they will migrate onto chat and AIBU and anywhere that gets more views. We see this all the time with various topics.

Changing the policy so that you only need to have been a member for 7 days before posting on creates another issue of course. It is much much easier for sex trolls to join and start harassing people and messaging them off board. I guess that might help revenue if you are getting streams of re-registering sex trolls coming in.

MN used to take safeguarding seriously.

I also think this actually will exclude people from getting support. You now either have to choose to hide the board and therefore if you have a question or an issue about sex, you can't ask in the right place. Or you have to enable it and see every conversation.

Imagine if you are a Mum with young kids, sex has gone down the pan and you want some advice. You might not want your partner to see it. Your choice is: hide the topic and don't get that help you'd like. Or enable it and risk your kids or your partner seeing the threads on your screen.

This is a separate conversation to the very valuable safeguarding conversation about the sex chat threads.

@BaroldFromEastenders but this wasn’t relevant. The poster’s comments were appropriate to the topic of the thread. Context is everything.

Hun, if you're going to come at me, you should probably read and understand the thread/post first! 🤣🤣🤣

I'm afraid you've just completely embarrassed yourself here. I'm embarrassed for you 😳

On the topic of the dynamics of mumsnet changing because of the sex board I would defy anyone to read the thread in relationships called 'sexless relationship' and say that that isn't true. I've never before seen a woman on mumsnet being told that the reason her husband isn't into sex is becasue she is probably boring and tedious in bed and that she needs to lose some weight to be attractive to him. If that doesn't work she should go to a number of named websites to meet a man and have an affair.

Is this the type of website mumsnet wants to turn into? Where a woman whose husband clearly has a porn problem is told that she needs to be lose weight and be spicier in the bedroom if she expects her husband to be into her?

On the plus side, I spend far too much time on mumsnet and close to deleting the app now. I'm so fed up with the ick.

It's just not what I come here for.

Justine has responded on this thread. www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4749810-references-to-underage-sex-on-sex-board

I've been out so haven't kept up with comments except Justine's reply.

If anyone has any chat board suggestions like pre-this MN, I'd love to hear them. Such a good crowd here but not sure how long that will continue.

They are all crying over there that their exclusive little sex club is not a cosy cliquey corner any more.

Actually we're discussing the travesty of chilling Cabernet Sauvignon. Just when you thought posters couldn't get any more depraved... 😳

But, you crack on picking out the bits that suit your narrative, as usual. Cheers! 🍷

I'll pass on the wine thanks. God knows where that glass has been.

Very triggering topic and should not be in active. Its definitely ruining my previous enjoyment of the board.

It's the flirting on there that turns my stomach. In what way is that giving women advice?

I reported one of my posts yesterday to MN so that I could be open about my concerns in a personal way to them, as to why it is so important to me.

I didn't get a reply.

It's poor form really. I honestly don't think Justine has taken any of the concerns on board.

Not a chance I would ever ask for advice on that board.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4750492-dp-cant-keep-his-hands-off-of-me

Case in point. Here we have several posters arguing that sexual assault is justified. In AIBU. I don't recall this sort of argument in the past in MN.

AIBU tends to attract extreme views, thankfully the majority of the sane posters agree that it is sexual assault. What a horrible man.

There's a post on the AIBU thread for people who don't care about Sex in Active which says the sex chat is great for finding people of all genders to 'help you get off' which also doesn't feel like the kind of argument you'd get on here before either.

Yes I saw that. I thought I had read it wrong. ☹️

That said though, the sex pest AIBU post I think isn't that different to things I've seen before - there have always been posters, especially on aibu, keen to minimise and justify sexual assault and domestic violence and they've always been an unpleasant minority which they still appear to be. Women having boundaries is a threat to a lot of men and a number of women riddled with internalised misogyny.

The difference is that now MNHQ are taking a similar line - if you have boundaries, that's your problem. You're uptight, you're frigid, your concerns about safety and dignity are just a buzz kill so hide the topic and clutch your pearls somewhere else. It's why I found @LilyMumsnet 's dismissive posts on these threads so upsetting.