Posters hiding the sex board won't change MN dynamics.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

This new policy of 'if you don't like it, don't look' doesn't seem to be about making Mumsnet a safer place more welcoming and inclusive place, it seems to be more about 'look the other way if you are offended'.

One issue with this is that once threads get into active, people then post in the wrong place. Explicit threads won't stay on the Sex board, they will migrate onto chat and AIBU and anywhere that gets more views. We see this all the time with various topics.

Changing the policy so that you only need to have been a member for 7 days before posting on creates another issue of course. It is much much easier for sex trolls to join and start harassing people and messaging them off board. I guess that might help revenue if you are getting streams of re-registering sex trolls coming in.

MN used to take safeguarding seriously.

I also think this actually will exclude people from getting support. You now either have to choose to hide the board and therefore if you have a question or an issue about sex, you can't ask in the right place. Or you have to enable it and see every conversation.

Imagine if you are a Mum with young kids, sex has gone down the pan and you want some advice. You might not want your partner to see it. Your choice is: hide the topic and don't get that help you'd like. Or enable it and risk your kids or your partner seeing the threads on your screen.

This is a separate conversation to the very valuable safeguarding conversation about the sex chat threads.

Only to register disapproval.

And the posts in other threads on the board?

I used the wrong term in 'safe space', I was trying to verbalise a feeling of being pushed out, where by putting a thread in there is liable to make a person feel actively vulnerable.

Ah.

Well as I said your feelings are of course valid but posting there would seem silly. Why do you think registering your disapproval is appropriate or necessary? Keep your neb out, this shaming and a pp sneering 'cool wives' is really unpleasant.

Ironically those complaining the loudest seem the more unpleasant than those posting there.

It's really important that women are able to name male patterns of behaviour on a woman-centred site like MN without this being taken as a personal attack on any particular poster, or how else can we talk about it?

If we talk in the abstract we are accused of making it up, pearl clutching, being hysterical bla bla. If we give examples then it's a personal attack.

This thread is about the way the sex topic, as currently set up, affects the dynamic across the whole forum: how it affects the culture of MN.

Nobody here expects a 'safe space' we just don't want the red carpet rolled out for men and we want to be able to say what's happening without being deleted.

I was either too general or too particular. It's a tightrope!

It really is!

Yes, this.

I think it's time to deregister.
This is so depressing.

The whole atmosphere and dynamic of the site is changing, why doesn’t Mumsnet change its name to ‘Hairyhandedtruckersnet’ and have done with it.

It was so easy to spot the pervy trolls on MN. Now any ole perv can post in the sex topic and any reports are dismissed.

I can't see anything changing TBH. Well they might stop the Sex Topic appearing in Active once the promotional stuff ends. But that's about it.

Just as our dismay over the board's existence is dismissed.

You made quite a few posts there this morning.

Even it was to 'voice your disapproval', that smacks of 'I only read the Daily Mail for the celeb gossip'. It still makes you a Daily Mail reader 🙄

You were certainly doing a great job of keeping the sex topic in active from what I could see.

Looks like the new improved Sexchat thread has stalled somewhat. Maybe it will be gone of it's own accord.

Does it matter? The sex board will come up in Active whether its poor Nigel from Norfolk not getting any so needs a lady to chat too or someone disapproving.

I see there are now 14 out of 25 threads on the first page of site stuff that are about the sex topic or the general sexing up of Mumsnet.

This is not going away.

I believe it will go away, just as other things that have angered MNetters in the past have gone away.

MNHQ will do what they want, a few members will leave because of it and then it'll be business as usual.

It's the way it's always been.

MNHQ will do what they want, a few members will leave because of it and then it'll be business as usual.

But at least because of all of these threads a lot more posters will know what might await them if they do choose to post in the Sex Topic. Like the fact that people only have to wait 7 days after signing up rather than the 90 days it used to be. That was a surprise to everyone.

Yes, so in a weird way it's been a bit of a self-serving exercise for MNHQ.

They want the sex topic to be more prominent, and the ensuing furore has given them exactly what they wanted.

It's brought lots of traffic to the topic, far more people are now aware it exists and it's probably only a matter of time before the tabloids/other media pick up on the 'story'.

I meant self promoting exercise.

And probably some people posting there will stop doing so and others thinking of doing so won’t start.

Once the press pick it up it’ll be carnage though.

And I don't give a shit what is posted on the sex thread - you go for it. I just don't want it smacked in my face.

^^ I agree with this. I don't really care if a person only has 7 days of posting or even the sex chat thread but I really really don't want to see so many threads in active. I think taking if off that would suit both sides the most. A good compromise.

Yes, I think that's for the best hun, if you can't manage to stop trolling the sex board.

I'm not going to dereg, and neither should anyone else (except the hairy-handed blokes).

We should continue to comment on the sex threads when they're fucking grim, and thoroughly enjoy knowing that annoys the "horny" posters out there.

May the likes of them never wank satisfactorily from a post here again.