Who here had an affair and got away with it?

[kiwimuma]

Following on from another post about what stops you having an affair, I'm curious about if anyone has any stories about actually going through with it and not getting caught/not regretting it

A very good friend of mine just told me she has been seeing another man on and off. They are both married and have A NSA thing. Neither are wanting to leave their marriages for each other. She told me that as a result of this, she's realised how little attention her and her hubby actually paid to each other, and how little effort they put in, and it's helped her relationship with hubby hugely. What are others thoughts?

(I appreciate there'll be a load of people here who vehemently disagree with the idea. That's cool too and your point of view is already well known )

mdocman1969 - I will send it now

@Leedsgirlfriend. I have the occasional twinge of jealousy but generally it does not bother me. I have my life, he has his. And in a strange way I know it is me that is keeping his marriage going. Things are not good at all and clearly have not been for a very long time. He gives me the part time love I need and I give him the same back

@hoolacoola His marriage can’t be good if he is having an affair. I have tried to have the same attitude as you but I just can’t maintain it. The whole situation has been toxic.

Crystal can you email me the name of the site to me as well please ?

Signoftimes - Will do now.

Thankyou. Received/replied

Sent you a pm Crystal.

Thanks

@Crystalintheeyes does the site have the initials IE by any chance?

@itwasntmehonest

No.

There FS

Noego I'm with you!! Why is no one answering the question 'how would you feel if you discovered your husband/wife was also having an affair?' Would it bother you? Or as long as it doesnt disrupt the status quo its all good?

Ah I see a few did.

I'll answer - I'm single now but I was married. My husband might have started his new relationship before our marriage was over. I do not care either way because our marriage was irretrievable.

I’ll answer too - there many times over the years of marriage I was hoping my H would have someone on the side and stop focusing so much on me - and various things that was wrong with me, and the way I do things....
And now too - if he was seeing someone - our next phase of separating will be different.
I don’t know if he does or does not have a lover.

how would you feel if you discovered your husband/wife was also having an affair?' Would it bother you?

Not in the least. In fact it would be a relief. Then we could get everything out in the open and have our discreet liaisons on the side.

Why the secrecy over the FWB site address , can in not appear on MN?

It's fabswingers

It’s not a secret. I don’t know the rules on promoting other websites though as Iv never bothered reading them.

I had an online affair last year, long distance. When that ended (he struggled with the idea of cheating on his wife) after Christmas, I decided to try something real life and physical.

I've been chatting to a few married men, two of whom I want to meet. One, like me, is new to all of this while the other has had relationships over the last few years.

Meeting this week and nervous but can't wait. Sexting and phone sex is fun, but this will hopefully be amazing.

Ideally I will find someone to have a long term affair with, either one or both ....

As for not being someone's priority? I have a life and a family, so have my own stuff going on. None of us want to change our main lives, just add something that is missing.

honestly I really struggle to understand why anyone who is prepared to 'cheat' can't just decide that something is wrong with their relationship and show some respect and honesty and end the relationship, I get that sometimes someone else is attractive but surely you either smile , enjoy the attention and do nothing or decide that your relationship is not great and move on, why oh why do people do the whole deception shit??

@StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes

Because life isn’t as black and white as that.

why oh why do people do the whole deception shit??

Because they are comfortable, have a roof over their heads, don't want to break up their families?
Or they are cowards and don't want to face the reality that their relationship has failed.
To have their cake and eat it so to speak.

Although to be honest most blokes I know that cheat do it because the opportunity was there. No real reason other than that.

@VirtuallyConfused
You sound like a really horrible person. I hope there is such a thing as Karma and it kicks your ass.

I haven’t cheated on any of my partners but have spent a few years single and have had many offers from married men through dating sites and in the real world, I have slept with married men (only once knowingly). Since realising how many men are actually willing to cheat on their wives/partners I have decided that I never want to be in a serious relationship again. There are so many so called ‘happily married’ people out there who have no idea that their partner is cheating on them. If you want to sleep around then either leave your partner or discuss your fantasy with them, you never know they might be happy to have a open relationship, if not then you go your separate ways. I know things are not always simple but I do believe you should treat others how you would want to be treated.

I'm wondering how many people have had an affair and then ended up back with their partner but felt scared that it would eventually come out?

@Sadiesnakes

Why should karma care about @VirtuallyConfused?
Is she leading some poor unsuspecting married men astray?
Forcing them to sigh up to married hook up sites?

She isn’t forcing them to do something they don’t want to do.
I presume they met on something like Ashley M, or Illicit E - that are populated with married people who already made a decision to meet someone. Discretely.
While not breaking up their marriages.

Are they having their cakes and eating them? Only somewhat.
Most people on those sites aren’t people in happy marriages and good sex lives. Only few are the hedonists looking for more notches on bed posts.
Those sites are full of unhappy people who are trying to do their best de the kids. Or women feeling powerless to leave.

Karma should not waste time on them. Plenty of other more worthy targets in the world.