Dh's wanking habits

[BummyMummy77]

Let me preface this with making it clear I have no repressed issues regarding dh having the odd hand shandy before I get an onslaught of martial advice insults.

So when I'm away with ds anywhere, I always come back to dh's soggy, crusty tissues, boxers, t shirts on his side of the bed. I thought it was kind of funny, kind of gross and kind of disrespectful but I'm sure I do plenty of irritating things too. Nobody is perfect. actually I don't and I am.

Coming back today from a night away with ds who's 2.5 and sleeps in the same room as us I am annoyed. And a bit disgusted. Next to ds's bed where dh clearly slept (it is a lot more comfortable than ours to be fair) is a LOT of crusty, spunky tissues.

Aibu to think this is pretty nasty as ds could, and did get hold of them before I noticed and because he did it in ds's bed?

Am I being silly being pissed off about it? It's pretty fucking rude to just leave it there too for me to pick up like Dobby the fucking jizz elf I'm thinking.

I don't think I'm particularly prudish but maybe I am!

The tissues are disgusting in itself but it's the sexual activity in a childs bed that actually makes me feel a bit sick.

What is it with all these spunk obsessed threads recently ?

He's done that in your child's bed? Urgh
Awful
I can't see anything funny about this at all

The last one made it to the gutter press didn't it ?

That's about the level of "humour" I assign to it

What is it with all these spunk obsessed threads recently ?

I believe I'm right in thinking that teenage boys find spunk hugely amusing.

As an aside, I do hope the kiddies are having fun in the summer holidays

I'm actually screenshotting some of these and sending them to him as I get the impression he thinks I'm being neurotic.

He thinks you are neurotic?! He sounds absolutely delightful...

I honestly wish I were joking or a teenage boy making this up. As I've said, I'm trying to laugh at it because what the hell else can I do? I have an awful temper on me I've managed to control since ds was born and I'm very aware that I'm close to losing it now and that's the last thing I want ds to ever see.

Sorry- did your son find them or did you carry him to bed asleep?

This is the second thread this week about husbands leaving their spunky tissues /socks for their wives to clear up.
Is this meant to make us feel part of the sexual act?

Dobby the fucking jizz elf

I've had a really long, taxing day and I climbed into bed weary and down. I almost didn't switch on my iPad to check mumsnet. I'm so glad I did.

What a disgusting man. That is all.

Gross! Love the jizz elf though
There is a 60 year old lady at my work who returned home from holiday with her family recently, she'd stayed with her son & daughter in law the night before she left & had stayed in her 5 year old DGD's bedroom.. She told us that her & her husband felt really naughty but couldn't keep their hands off eachother so had sex in their granddaughters bed! she was actually laughing about it!
so so disgusting!!!

He woke up when I put him down as he normally does for a bit until I nurse him back to sleep. He leaned over to grab his truck he likes to hold when he sleeps.

As I said, I wish I was making this up. But anyway, what kind of Mother would make up a story like this?!

A bummy kind of mummy might

I can't understand why he left it there. I was pretty annoyed the last time he'd done it by his own bed and have been getting on his back about him leaving stuff around for me to pick up after him so how it could have not entered his head I'd be apoplectic I don't know. He is pretty forgetful and blade about stuff at the moment as he's working 15+ hour days 7 days a week but still.

Blasé not blade.

DOBBY THE JIZZ ELF! :D

YANBU. That's gross.

Dobby the fucking jizz elf

That is grim. I agree with the other posters who suggested asking him how he would feel if you left your used sanitary towels lying around for him to pick up. And that's ignoring the utter weirdness of him wanking in your child's bed.

Totally revolting.

But almost worth it as it has gifted all of mumsnet the phrase dobby the fucking jizz elf

He actually tried to blame the dog??

Seriously, any Mother that would make up a story involving her child and husband's sperm for shits and giggles would need her head looking at. I wanted to check and see I wasn't being overly neurotic (as I knew that's what he'd say). Especially as I have my period and know I tend to get more wound up about things around this time.

That's so fuc*ing disrespectful to you! I would be raging why on earth does he think it's acceptable for you to clean up his jizzy tissues?

As for wanking in your sons bed I don't really know what to say! Hopefully it was just more comfortable as you said because otherwise that is beyond twisted and he needs serious help.

I'm sure you're not making it up - doesn't make it any less incredible though. I'm having trouble believing that a grown man - a married man with children - would think this not only ok but funny with it.
I couldn't be in a relationship like this.

Hallo OP
We're going to move this into our sex topic
Thanks

Op, your post sounds like it's made by a bloke trying to sound like a woman