Dh's wanking habits

[BummyMummy77]

Let me preface this with making it clear I have no repressed issues regarding dh having the odd hand shandy before I get an onslaught of martial advice insults.

So when I'm away with ds anywhere, I always come back to dh's soggy, crusty tissues, boxers, t shirts on his side of the bed. I thought it was kind of funny, kind of gross and kind of disrespectful but I'm sure I do plenty of irritating things too. Nobody is perfect. actually I don't and I am.

Coming back today from a night away with ds who's 2.5 and sleeps in the same room as us I am annoyed. And a bit disgusted. Next to ds's bed where dh clearly slept (it is a lot more comfortable than ours to be fair) is a LOT of crusty, spunky tissues.

Aibu to think this is pretty nasty as ds could, and did get hold of them before I noticed and because he did it in ds's bed?

Am I being silly being pissed off about it? It's pretty fucking rude to just leave it there too for me to pick up like Dobby the fucking jizz elf I'm thinking.

I don't think I'm particularly prudish but maybe I am!

[OhWotIsItThisTime]

Don't let him gas light you. 1. He chose your child's bed to have a wank in. 2. He left his jizz tissues where your child could find them. 3. He expected you to clear up his jizz tissues as he is lazy and disrespectful.

[Charlie97]

That is revolting, once I would put down to a simple error, but doing it again is just wrong.

Does he flush the chain after using the loo? Wipe his arse?

They are normal bodily functions as well, so he deals effectively with that.

I've no issue with the mattress situation, but leaving his debris for you to clear up is quite honestly shocking.

And as for the PP, who either her or the cleaner need to clear up the OH tissues and skids, well I'd be right out of that relationship! What makes another human have such little respect for his wife or employee.....repulsive!

[PacificDogwod]

And that he's meant to be wanking more to help his sperm health

Really?! Yes, regular ejaculation is a healthy thing, but 2-3x/week would do fine for the purposes of healthy sperm (and men who ejaculate a lot less than that don't necessarily have unhealthy sperm).

Look, IMO the bed is maybe slightly distasteful, but really not the issue and somewhat irrelevant.

The leaving=of-evidence is 50 shades of Wrong.

Report your own thread and ask to have it moved to Relationship.

Re nappy wipe - really?!

[MojitoJo]

Wiping your son's shitty nappy all over his truck just lost you the moral high ground. What a ridiculous thing to do. I was with you all the way before that happened.

[ABloodyDifficultWoman]

I've just wiped one of ds's very blue/ black stinky/sticky (think whole tub of blueberries yesterday) nappies on his windshield and car seat. Fabric too

That makes you ten times worse than him then - at least his disgusting mess could be fixed by picking it up and chucking it in the bin. If this is true and you really did do this then he should leave you - you're unhinged.

[imwithspud]

I've just wiped one of ds's very blue/ black stinky/sticky (think whole tub of blueberries yesterday) nappies on his windshield and car seat. Fabric too.

Jesus Christ that's taking things too far. How disgusting, that's put me right off my breakfast.

[BastardGoDarkly]

Wtf?! You know that'll never come out of the car fabric right? How strange that you did that after you'd spoken to him, and were apparently calming down about it all.

I'm glad i don't have to live with either of you!

[TTwidow]

Yuk! It's disgusting he doesn't clear up after himself but I think you took it a shade too far.
What did he say? Did he clear it up? Did the neighbours watch? Will he never leave his droppings for you to pick up again?
I hope all is calm (and clean) in your household this morning.

[ScrambledSmegs]

I think you just completely lost the argument with that, OP.

[Stormtreader]

Its the leaving the tissues around thats the worst part of this to me.

Small children put things in their mouths all the time, is he not seeing the issue with the fact that if you hadnt spotted the tissues, you could have turned around to find your child chewing/playing with them?
Theres absolutely no excuse for not chucking them afterwards, even if its as soon as he wakes up.

Is he like this with other things, are you Dobby the House Elf in general?

[Passmethecrisps]

There is none of this makes sense.

I don't understand why previously you made a joke of it. Then post on here asking for thoughts then beg for others to say it isn't a big deal when you don't like what you hear.

Then you respond completely bizarrely.

[BummyMummy77]

I had calmed down until he was so flippant about the whole thing.

It was completely the wrong thing to do. No excuse really but it comes off the back of a really shitty, hard few weeks and I snapped. I wasn't looking for any kind of moral high ground or to win any argument I'd just had enough and the vile temper I've managed to hold down for years surfaced. That's why I asked him not to come home, I knew I was nearing my limits and wanted time to calm down.

I guess somewhere in the red mist I was upset he just wasn't understanding the level of disrespect I felt and wanted to show him how it felt.

I felt guilty enough pretty quickly that I cleaned it up.

[Floggingmolly]

Wow . You've lost any possible moral high ground there, love. And he'll never take you seriously again.

[BummyMummy77]

I know. But really, moral high ground doesn't seem to be a thing with him anyway.

I lost my temper and I'm not proud of it at all.

He really wasn't that bothered though so my previous thought that bodily fluids are no big thing to him clearly is clearly true.

[Enjoyingthepeace]

Both of you are revolting. Ever read Roald Dahl, The Twits?

[BummyMummy77]

I'm aware it was revolting.

As I said, I lost my temper and quite honestly am glad at least I didn't kick off in front of ds.

Having anger control issues is something I've dealt with REALLY well the last few years but due to a series of horrible events the last few weeks I've not managed this time. Again, no excuse but that's how it is. Ds has not been supportive over a few pretty big things and I guess there was also quite a lot of resentment backed up.

It's a horrible thing to have temper and control problems and I'm gutted that clearly I still do.

[CustardCream1]

The twits is how I would describe them. At least they didn't have kids though. I just feel really sorry for the op's son in all this having these two as parents. What a terrible example they set him and I genuinely feel worried for the poor little bit as neither parent sounds at all normal.

[CustardCream1]

Poor little boy. Not poor little bit.

[BummyMummy77]

As I've already said ds was party to none of this.

Thanks for making me feel even shitter than I already did custard. I hope if you have a really rough few months, are having trouble coping and find the honesty to be honest and try to vocalise it people aren't as spiteful to you.

[BummyMummy77]

You don't need to 'be genuinely worried' about my ds thank you though. God people can say some fucking nasty things on here. I've made a lot of mistakes in life but the one thing I can say is that I am a pretty damn good Mother. So hold off with the spite in that area please.

[CustardCream1]

I'm not being spiteful I am being truthful. I've had a shitty couple of years with an abusive ex and going through a terrible break up, being a single mum with no family close by for support. I just feel what you did with the nappy was disgusting and you shouldn't have behaved like that when you are a parent.

[OhWotIsItThisTime]

It's ok Bummy, it sounds like you've been having a tough time. Looking forward, how are you going to work this out with your dh?

[BummyMummy77]

I'm sorry you've had a bad time also. And if it makes you feel better to say nasty things to someone you know very little of on the internet then I'm glad you have a way of making yourself feel better.

[CustardCream1]

I didn't say it to make myself feel better but if that is what you want to believe them that's up to you.