Dh's wanking habits

[BummyMummy77]

Let me preface this with making it clear I have no repressed issues regarding dh having the odd hand shandy before I get an onslaught of martial advice insults.

So when I'm away with ds anywhere, I always come back to dh's soggy, crusty tissues, boxers, t shirts on his side of the bed. I thought it was kind of funny, kind of gross and kind of disrespectful but I'm sure I do plenty of irritating things too. Nobody is perfect. actually I don't and I am.

Coming back today from a night away with ds who's 2.5 and sleeps in the same room as us I am annoyed. And a bit disgusted. Next to ds's bed where dh clearly slept (it is a lot more comfortable than ours to be fair) is a LOT of crusty, spunky tissues.

Aibu to think this is pretty nasty as ds could, and did get hold of them before I noticed and because he did it in ds's bed?

Am I being silly being pissed off about it? It's pretty fucking rude to just leave it there too for me to pick up like Dobby the fucking jizz elf I'm thinking.

I don't think I'm particularly prudish but maybe I am!

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

I'd be rubbing them in his fucking boat race

[Buddahbelly]

Hes wanking in your childs bed.

Op I seriously hope you are a troll and have made that up because that is too much for my imagination to take in.

Picking up after him aside, that is what would make me sick to my stomach!

[MagnumAddict]

I was going to say yabu for using the term 'hand shandy' shudder but fucking hell. Leaving jizz filled hankies on his toddlers bed? Is he mortified?

[wombattoo]

In the child's bed? Really?

[dobbythefuckingjizzelf]

BITCAT

Your spelling was appalling

But not as bad as OP's dh's wanking habits

[BITCAT]

Well that is true dobbythefuckingjizzelf

[whirlygirly]

No you're not being prudish, that's fucked up.

Can he not see that?

[peaner]

That is absolutely rank. Put them in his pillowcase.

[VoldysGoneMouldy]

That is beyond disgusting. He's wanking in your child's bed, then leaving the 'results' laying around? Revolting. What a vile human being.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

dobby the fucking jizz elf and rub it in his boat race just made me laugh so much.

This is rank though. Nick his pillow and fill his side of the bed with crusty tissues. Bluergh.

[Purpleheinz]

The adult version of Elf on the Shelf..

Dobby the fucking jizz elf !!!

Coming to an adult website near you soon.....

[BummyMummy77]

I just called him and he denied it (yeah must have been the dog ) then giggled (fucking GIGGLED) then said "sorry" in a not very sorry way.

His response has actually made things SO much worse. I told him not to come home after work as I'm so angry and disgusted I won't be able to hold it down in front of ds.

Ugh, makes me feel a bit sick.

And I'd do some revenge type thing but feel like that'll make it in to a sort of a joke and it actually is pretty vile.

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

No problem with him wanking as much as he likes. His cock, his business.

No problem with him wanking in DS's bed, it's not as if DS was in it! Clean sheets, all good.

Definite problem with him leaving his used tissues there, but no more so than if he'd had a cold and left them there. It's not on to expect someone else to clean up after you.

[JuanTime]

No helpful advice,I'm too busy laughing at dobby the fucking jizz elf 😂

[Hassled]

Dobby the fucking jizz elf :o :o

[blondieblondie]

What a filthy, disrespectful pig. And not to be too harsh, but you should have more respect for yourself than cleaning up THAT after him.

[whirlygirly]

My friend has a husband who does this and leaves crusty socks around for her to pick up. Boak.
He is also an utterly disrespectful, misogynistic dickhead in every other respect tbh.

[BummyMummy77]

I guess it isn't much different to snot but I wouldn't want ds playing with that either.

If he'd beaned the sheets I'd have felt slightly better about it.

[maras2]

Dirty pig!

[ethelb]

Enjoyingthepeace I just did the same thing.

Your husband being an enthusiastic (though disrespectful) wanker shouldn't be mistaken for the gravity of what has happened here. It is completely inappropriate and I would be wondering about what he could be hiding tbh

[ChanelNo314]

no advice but I also laughed at 'like dobby the fucking jizz elf'

{clap}

[Subatomickitten]

Scoop them all up, put them in a plastic bag and present them to him infront of your in-laws and the proceed to ask them if his mastubatory habits were so filthy as a teenager. That should do the trick.

[BummyMummy77]

Well I guess he did 'bean' the sheets but I meant cleaned.

He's normally a pretty respectful guy in most other ways which is what makes it a little more suprising.

I mean it'd be the same as me leaving periody tissues next to his bed. Fucking tempting actually.

[Onenerfwarfrombreakdown]

OP that is seriously disgusting and id be raging too.

But I am too busy howling with laughter at Dobby the fucking jizz elf.

Fair do's to the poster who has already bagged it in a name change, you've got a classic there!