Dh's wanking habits

[BummyMummy77]

Let me preface this with making it clear I have no repressed issues regarding dh having the odd hand shandy before I get an onslaught of martial advice insults.

So when I'm away with ds anywhere, I always come back to dh's soggy, crusty tissues, boxers, t shirts on his side of the bed. I thought it was kind of funny, kind of gross and kind of disrespectful but I'm sure I do plenty of irritating things too. Nobody is perfect. actually I don't and I am.

Coming back today from a night away with ds who's 2.5 and sleeps in the same room as us I am annoyed. And a bit disgusted. Next to ds's bed where dh clearly slept (it is a lot more comfortable than ours to be fair) is a LOT of crusty, spunky tissues.

Aibu to think this is pretty nasty as ds could, and did get hold of them before I noticed and because he did it in ds's bed?

Am I being silly being pissed off about it? It's pretty fucking rude to just leave it there too for me to pick up like Dobby the fucking jizz elf I'm thinking.

I don't think I'm particularly prudish but maybe I am!

Dirty bastard that's disgusting 😷 wouldn't be having that at all so I would be causing rows if it was my partner.

😂 At Dobby the fucking jizz elf

then* not the (sigh!)

No no no wanking in your child's bed is bloody revolting!

This is not about masturbation (all fine and dandy), it's about leaving the evidence lying around for your to find and clear up after him.
Fuck that

When you've calmed down tell him that you are not his cleaner.
I would also be very tempted to let him know that his behaviour (overenthusiastic wanking/in child's bed/leaving evidence) puts me right off him. Eugh.

That is so revolting.

Period tissue next to his side of the bed should get the message across OP

Why is your child's bed (a toddler bed I presume) more comfortable than your shared bed?

I was just thinking 'I should change my name to Dobby the fucking jizz elf' and saw I'd been beaten!

Thanks for making me laugh ladies. It'll be much better for ds when he wakes up from his nap (in unchanged sheets as I carried him up already asleep ) to have a slightly peeved yet amused (not at filthy pig boy husband) Mum than raging, tearful, twitchy Mum.

What should I do though? I do find it disturbing that he could even do that in his son's bed.

It was their bed they share with their ds, like my dd sleeps in mine not actually wanking in their ds's bed.

Still fucking disgusting though, not the wanking but expecting you to clear it up and leaving evidence about for the dc.

My DS has a better mattress than me. His is Warren Evans and all handmade by elves ( not Jiz elves!) withnatural fibres etc, and mine is a standard ikea mattress misses point of thread

Seriously - you need to pull him to one side (excuse pun) and tell him if it EVER happens again you will leave him.

Yeah, that's horrific.

I would tell mine that I would break his wrists if he filled the room with jizz rags!

Perhaps you could ask him would he like to snuggle up in a pile of used sanitary towels?

We all sleep on the floor like hippies (clearly someone is a bit more free love than I think is prudent.)

Ds's mattress happens to be the one with memory foam on it.

Skanky Bastard can sleep in the chicken shed from now on.

Actually the dog also has a memory foam mattress in our room.

Really? Why would he even do this in a toddlers bed rather than his own, doesn't make sense.

No it was ds's. He could have rolled three feet on to his own bed but no, needed to be a comfort wank clearly.

The dog is the only 'person' in the house who has a memory foam mattress

It doesn't actually make sense unless maybe he was half asleep or something. I hope so. I mean didn't it cross his mind st any point?!

Men have needs, we all know what's what
To say they can abstain, well that's talking rot
But please remember your wife who has to clean
To not mop up your cock hockle is just mean
Nothing wrong with a Barclay's, it's just a bloody wank

But leaving uncashed cheques is ----ing rank

I've told him our mutual (female) friend is absolutely horrified and disgusted.

Obviously I haven't actually told anyone I know as I'm mortified and it's a private matter anyway but that'll make the bastard squirm. He really likes her and her husband and is always trying to impress them. Ha.

Skanky Bastard can sleep in the chicken shed from now on

It would certainly be a more appropriate place in which to choke-the-chicken

toadgirl

I'm out

His attitude is disrespectful. He should have cleaned up.

Dobby the jizz elf made me howl.

Put your DS in beside you and let him sleep on the jizzy sheets. His reaction is actually worse.