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Secondary education

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Original poster

Sixth-form girl living alone

523 replies

BoboChic · 16/03/2017 10:13

Do you think that a private mixed sixth form should admit a new pupil who will be living alone in a small rented apartment during the week, returning home to her parents at the weekend?

OP posts:
finagler · 16/03/2017 10:16

Yes.

Original poster
BoboChic · 16/03/2017 10:17

You wouldn't be worried that she was vulnerable?

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 16/03/2017 10:17

Is there no boarding at the school?

I would think the school would not accept this as there would be no-one around to support her or take responsibility for her. The school certainly wouldn’t take on the duty of care for her out of school.

Could you find a local family, maybe people who also have a child at the school, she could live with?

blueskyinmarch · 16/03/2017 10:18

What age is the girl in question?

CancellyMcChequeface · 16/03/2017 10:18

I see no reason why not. What's the problem - was the apartment rented purely to get her within the catchment area for the school? (I have no experience with private schools so don't know if this can be an issue with some of them like it is for state.)

Original poster
BoboChic · 16/03/2017 10:19

Not my child. It's something that happened a while ago but is having repercussions!

OP posts:
finagler · 16/03/2017 10:20

Oh OK. So it's happened and not gone well?

No then Grin

Original poster
BoboChic · 16/03/2017 10:21

The issue is whether it was naive of the school to go along with this or not. As a parent I would never contemplate such a thing myself and I'm a bit surprised that the school didn't see the dangers. Said girl had a lot of freedom to invite boys round...

OP posts:
finagler · 16/03/2017 10:22

Well yes it was naive in hindsight then.

PotteringAlong · 16/03/2017 10:22

It's got nothing to do with the school though. She's over 16, she can be legally married, it's not their call to make.

Original poster
BoboChic · 16/03/2017 10:23

She was a minor.

OP posts:
ohdoadoodoo · 16/03/2017 10:24

How could she have rented an apartment if she was a minor?

walruswhiskers · 16/03/2017 10:25

Was it you, OP?

I can see many issues with this from the girl's point of view ; however I can also see benefits in terms of not missing out on finishing a school in which the person is settled etc. I wouldn't even countenance it for my DD1, Dd2 might handle it better. Clearly far from ideal in Amy circumstance though!

CancellyMcChequeface · 16/03/2017 10:25

Fair enough. Living alone at 16/17 is more unusual than it used to be, but it happens - I wouldn't say it's the school's place to say that she couldn't. Up to the girl and her parents, really. It's unfortunate if there was a misjudgement on their part and she didn't cope well with it, but that doesn't mean that nobody her age could.

walruswhiskers · 16/03/2017 10:26

Not sure how the school can be blamed though. It's a parental choice really. School could have expressed concerns at most (and probably didn't want to turn the fees down as private...)

Original poster
BoboChic · 16/03/2017 10:28

The parents rented the apartment. This is is something that happened at the school of some DC I know.

OP posts:
Original poster
BoboChic · 16/03/2017 10:29

The girl wasn't settled at the school - she moved there. And it wasn't a fee issue (highly oversubscribed school).

OP posts:
tiggytape · 16/03/2017 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 16/03/2017 10:30

I think this is a ridiculous and unfair state of affairs - minors dealing with the most stressful and important years of school need to be supported by their parents. There are so many sixth form boarding options, why didn't they make use of them?

I'm not British though and my parenting style with regard to teenagers and schoolwork is regarded as massively Tiger Mother/controlling by MN.

blueskyinmarch · 16/03/2017 10:34

My very first thought was much too much freedom and potential for it all to go wrong. That was why I said an outright no in my first post. No one to take responsibility is a recipe for disaster.

halcyondays · 16/03/2017 10:37

It doesn't have anything to do with the school, it's up to the girl and her parents.

Trifleorbust · 16/03/2017 10:39

She can invite boys round if she wants.

AdamantEve · 16/03/2017 10:40

I lived on my own at 16 and attended 6th Form with no issues. So don't think they were unreasonable to allow her to study there, not every 16 year old living alone will have problems so they surely can't generalise and just say no to all in that situation!

MattBerrysHair · 16/03/2017 10:46

I lived alone and went to 6th form, in very different circumstances though. The school were really supportive. I don't think it's any different to the 16 year olds who stay at agricultural colleges during term time.

blueskyinmarch · 16/03/2017 10:47

Some of you are very naive. Ant you see how it might go? Young girl of around 16 living alone. Invites lads in probably older lads. They bring alcohol. They persuade her to drink/ have sex. She turns up late to school or doesn't go. Things put on social media. Girl gets a name for herself. She can't handle it/doesn't know how to say no to these people. Hook have to try and pick up the pieces as parents miles away and not there to support their child.

Only on MN do 16 year olds live alone and do fine. In my experience as a social worker this is very much not the case. Some do but many don't. I think these parents were very remiss and the school is quite right to refuse to entertain this set up in future.