Sixth-form girl living alone

[BoboChic]

Do you think that a private mixed sixth form should admit a new pupil who will be living alone in a small rented apartment during the week, returning home to her parents at the weekend?

One aspect of France that I think is highly preferable to the UK is that there is not the "great divide" between different types of school here. The legal framework constrains the independence of private schools such that the experience of pupils is not as wildly different between sectors as is it is in the UK, hence families' cultural consensus on what school is and isn't doesn't vary as much.

Then you are reading it wrong OP.

I don't think this is a failure on the school's part: that rests with the parents.
I think encouraging a 16/17 year old girl not to widely advertise the fact that she lives alone and without supervision is good practice.
The belief that it is the school's responsibility to ensure that the living arrangements of its pupils would meet with the approval of the parents of other pupils is utterly bizarre.

There doesn't seem to be much consensus around the issue of the girl's parents' decision to have her live alone instead of sending her to boarding school. People keep sort of dancing around it with stories about people who had no choice but to live alone. This family did have a choice. I think they made a very poor one.

Lots of schools have stipulations about living arrangements in their policies. It's not illegal, just as it isn't illegal for a 16 year old to live alone (incidentally, if all that can be said in favour of something is 'it isn't illegal', then it's probably a pretty terrible idea).

Dione - I have helped DC fill out forms from universities to ensure they are placed in student residences that meet legal safeguarding requirements.

They don't bobochic. No special arrangements. And that's exactly what that website Dione linked to says.

I have been reading more of the thread, and just to qualify what I wrote above - I did better, but i would feel that I had failed as a parent if my dc did the same thing at that age, and if for whatever reason they weren't at home, i would be staying in close touch. It was not so much a bad initial decision of these parents, but they should have realised it wasn't working before it was too late. As for the school, knowing what my school was like I would have low expectations, but if they were aware of problems then they should have been talking the child's parents. I haven't read the whole thread though so I might be missing quite a lot of points.

TonyDanza - the girl did not have to move school at all at 16. She wanted a change of scene and more freedom and her parents supported that.

I have to say I also love the way that other parents are grumpy because their own dcs didn't get the grades they were expected to.
But there is no worry about the elfare of the dd living alone, no question to their own dcs as to why they never mentioned she was living alone (which would have been obvious at the first trip to her flat). No mention of them keeping an eye on their DC progrès and wondering why they are not doing that well etc etc...

In effect, they are nicely rejecting the blame onto someone else to about taking reponsibility for their own failures.

I have to say, it's a nice thing to teach your dc that. If you fail first check if by any chance, there isn't an outside reason why you failed rather than looking inwards to see what you SHOULD have done and take responsibility for your actions.

You know those pesky teenagers could also have chosen NOT to go to her flat, NOT to party and to concentrate on studying instead.
Or are you saying that they have so little independence they couldn't possibly have done so???

Younger students are usually given priority when it comes to Halls. This is no more a legal reqirement than our local secondary school giving year 8s priority on the school bus.

It isn't a choice I would have made but I don't think it was a poor choice, the girl passed her A levels (and according to the gossip made some extra pocket money). I still fail to understand how one girls living situation had such a big influence on all the other students.

IF you think that filling those sheet will 'protect' them in any way, you are completely deluded.
There will one there to check when they are coming back to their room, no one to see where they are spending the night.

There are universities, not a primary school or a boarding school.

Anyway, it is irrelevant what universities do. A 17 year old is younger than the standard admission age for university, so a university may decide to make special arrangements because, by admitting a minor, they are making an exception to their usual rule. The school in this case was not doing this. They weren't responsible for the girl outside of school hours.

French or English students op?

OP how do you know so much detail, like the girl's exam results in further education, her parents' home life set up and where everyone was living all the time if you weren't involved? How do you know what the school asked her to disclose or who was at her flat and how long they were there for and the knock on effect on their exams? It sounds like you know an awful lot of detail - are you quite sure you haven't been involved at all; or is it all just speculation?

It was a story I was told at a dinner the night before last. The person telling it is very engaged in her DCs' school - I think she's been a parent for over a decade and has got years to come.

It wasn't the only story she told

So. Gossip?