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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Sixth-form girl living alone

523 replies

BoboChic · 16/03/2017 10:13

Do you think that a private mixed sixth form should admit a new pupil who will be living alone in a small rented apartment during the week, returning home to her parents at the weekend?

OP posts:

blueskyinmarch · 16/03/2017 10:48

*Can't

Trifleorbust · 16/03/2017 10:49

blueskyinmarch:

Only on MN?

I lived alone at 17. Worked full time and went to 6th form. Oxbridge degree.

It depends on the girl.

Sunnysky2016 · 16/03/2017 10:51

I moved out and on my own when I was in the sixth form and pregnant! Still finished and started my degree on time. So can't see he issue?

Natsku · 16/03/2017 10:54

Its not uncommon in my country for 16 year olds to go to school away from home but they don't usually live entirely alone, normally in student accommodation sharing with university students. There was one girl in my building doing that and my ex's niece did it (shared a house with students) so on the face of it I don't see an issue but not every 16 year old is mature enough or capable enough to do that.

Notanotherpawpatrol · 16/03/2017 10:55

When i was at 6th form, there was a girl who lived alone during the week. Although the school didn't take responsibility for her, there was policies and procedures in place and there was an assigned adult for her to go to and who would check in with her on a daily basis to make sure everything was ok.

When I was working as a retail manager, I took on a 17 year old living alone whilst at 6th form. Again she was well taken care of and I had her school contact call up a couple of times to see how things were going. I honk some schools are more used to this set up than others.

mayoli · 16/03/2017 10:56

Depends on the person though doesn't it? It's difficult to generalise. I ran away from home at 16 and did well for myself but did drop out of school due to lack of support. I know people lived alone and finished all of their education before 23. I also know people that got hooked on drugs and alcohol and older men. It really differs on the person.

cowgirlsareforever · 16/03/2017 10:56

My ds had a friend who when he was aged 7 lived with his sixth former brother. The parents lived in different country. It was not great for them and school kept a special eye on them.

LovingLola · 16/03/2017 10:56

How in any way is this the business of the school? It is not up to a school to decide on living arrangements for its pupils. I sometimes think I live in a parallel universe....

xStefx · 16/03/2017 10:56

I lived alone whilst in sixth form as my parents moved to England (im in wales) and I didn't want to change schools at such a crucial time.

My mum was heavily involved and would make sure I was at school and home at a decent hour (phoning) so I could manage it properly.

To be honest it all worked out fine but I do believe if I had been left to my own devices and if she hadn't been involved as much then it probably wouldn't have gone as well .

Beachedwh4le · 16/03/2017 10:57

I moved to a new city to start university at 17.

I wouldn't be blaming the school, it's the parents issue if something went wrong

tiggytape · 16/03/2017 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

averythinline · 16/03/2017 10:58

left home and worked from 16 although was a while back, yes lots of drunken parties and sex ...(house share) however we all held down jobs as had bills to pay.....you could say depends on the parents - I left- my parents had no say in the matter...
If the parents were funding and had different expectations etc down to them nothing to do with the school really, if she turns up does her work

aginghippy · 16/03/2017 11:00

One of my dd's friends did similar. (Not sure if it was a private sixth form or not.) It all worked out afaik. The girl is now at university.

NerrSnerr · 16/03/2017 11:01

One of my friends was living in a homeless hostel between the ages of 16 and 18 because she left home to escape her mum. Should her 6th form college have refused her because she wasn't living with parents? She got good a levels and a first in her degree so in her situation it was fine.

blueskyinmarch · 16/03/2017 11:01

Trifle. I was being facetious. I know 16 year olds do live alone out with mumsnet.

blueskyinmarch · 16/03/2017 11:02

It doesn't sound as though this girls was going to school and doing her work though. Maybe OP can clarify a bit regarding his?

Violetcharlotte · 16/03/2017 11:07

OP is your concern about your own child? My DS is at 6th form and having a friend with their own flat would be like winning the lottery for him and his friends! I can imagine it would quickly turn into a party house and things could quite easily get out of control.

I'm sure some 6th formers are very sensible and there are situations when this could work, but I think it's pretty irresponsible of the parents to just leave her to her own devices!

Original poster

BoboChic · 16/03/2017 11:07

The girl in question didn't reach her 18th birthday while still at school. She did very badly in her exams and failed her first year of university. That's really why the story has come to light: the parents and school believed they were increasing her life chances by moving her from a state secondary to a private sixth form but it hasn't worked out at all well.

OP posts:

Original poster

BoboChic · 16/03/2017 11:09

VioletCharlotte - I have no DC to worry about currently in that potential situation but you have described exactly what happened! I the parents and school were wildly naive!

OP posts:

Annesmyth123 · 16/03/2017 11:09

Reponsibility lies with the parents. They should have realised this would possibly happen.

Trifleorbust · 16/03/2017 11:10

blueskyinmarch: Oh. The face would have helped

Anyway, she is of age to live alone. It's perfectly legal.

Chillidawg · 16/03/2017 11:10

If this is a day school, then I'm not sure that the school would be the first 'fall guy' in this situation. My own dd's school would have no idea of her living arrangements, although the presumption would be that she was living with family. So long as she was attending regularly, and her work was ok I can't see where their radar would be triggered. Unless her behaviour changed or other welfare aspects came to light (maybe a friend telling staff something) I can't see that they would question it.
I think the first responsibility would fall to the parents.
My dd is a loud and proud geeky nerd, and I think she could pull it off quite easily if DH and I had to, for example, leave to look after an elderly family member.

DS would be another matter entirely.

Trifleorbust · 16/03/2017 11:11

What is your interest in this?

MrTumblesbitch · 16/03/2017 11:12

I also went to school with a girl who did this. Her parents lived an hour away so got her a private flat for use during the week. They stocked the fridge / freezer for her, and school had special procedures if she was ever poorly or didn't turn up etc. it worked well from memory, but she was one of the more sensible girls. If it had been me at that stage of my life there would have been booze and boys and not much else going on

Original poster

BoboChic · 16/03/2017 11:12

Of course the school knew the living arrangements: the previous school and the parents' home address and telephone numbers alone would reveal them in an instant.

OP posts:

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