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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Sixth-form girl living alone

523 replies

BoboChic · 16/03/2017 10:13

Do you think that a private mixed sixth form should admit a new pupil who will be living alone in a small rented apartment during the week, returning home to her parents at the weekend?

OP posts:
HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 16/03/2017 11:13

They should have had her board. Surely that wouldn't be any more expensive than renting a flat (I suppose it depends on the city).

The point isn't the inevitable MN stories of "oh I had three kids and a mortgage at 15 and I'M FINE". 16 year olds already have important responsibilities - doing the best they possibly can with their academics and getting their adult life off to the best possible start. While some might cope alone - our responsibility as their parents isn't to dump as much responsibility on them as they can cope with without sinking - it's to help them thrive.

halcyondays · 16/03/2017 11:13

But it was the parents who decided to let the girl live alone, it wasn't down to the school.

Original poster
BoboChic · 16/03/2017 11:15

The school was under no obligation either to admit her or to create a situation where other DC were vulnerable because one of their classmates could host anyone anytime she like with no adult supervision. Schools have a duty of care.

OP posts:
HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 16/03/2017 11:15

Independent schools do take an interest in living arrangements - if a child is boarding and the parents live abroad, they have to nominate a guardian locally.

I think insisting that a pupil either boards or lives with a family is fair enough.

Annesmyth123 · 16/03/2017 11:16

School wouldn't know if a parent was staying or not.

As an example. When me and DP first got together he lived (and still does) 10 miles or so from me. I used to go and stay at his some nights and come home here and leave DD in the u6 alone in the house.
The number school has for me is my mobile. They still had my old address but that doesnt prove diddley squat.

Annesmyth123 · 16/03/2017 11:17

School have a duty of care but a 16 plus living alone in a flat wouldn't trigger that. Many teens do so and even have babies to care for at that age.

What exactly is your take on this? Do you have skin in this particular game?

halcyondays · 16/03/2017 11:18

I don't know about private schools, but a state school surely couldn't refuse to admit a sixth form pupil because they lived alone.

Trifleorbust · 16/03/2017 11:19

BoboChic:

Their duty of care exists where she is IN their care and extends to SA level concerns they might have about her care outside of school. An unsupervised 16 year old isn't 'at risk' - she is responsible for herself.

Trifleorbust · 16/03/2017 11:19

I think OP is the girl...

schoolofconfusion · 16/03/2017 11:20

I lived alone at 17 and worked full time and studied part time. No loads of boys around or big parties!

Depends on the person but not too very long ago many 16 year old would have moved out of home to work or go into service.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 16/03/2017 11:21

Bobo is many things but I'm pretty sure she isn't a 16 year old sixth former Grin

That would be one elaborate troll Grin

Trifleorbust · 16/03/2017 11:22

I wonder if this is a historical situation?

Notwhatiexpected · 16/03/2017 11:26

I lived in a shared rented flat for my sixth year. Why should she be excluded from education because she doesn't have a typical family set up?

Give her lots of support, and send the other kids over to her place to learn how to cook/manage bills and other useful skills.

Notwhatiexpected · 16/03/2017 11:30

There were no wild sex and booze parties in my flat, we were all too skint!

The kids with pocket money who lived with their parents managed to have them, though.

Quit pearl clutching, you sound a little judgemental OP.

January87 · 16/03/2017 11:30

And the school 100% knew that she would be living alone?

Violetcharlotte · 16/03/2017 11:30

I think the responsibility lies with the parents and the school wouldnt need to get invoked if there were no problems.

However, the school do have a duty of care, and if they realised there were issues, either with the student and lack of work/ poor attendance, or if other parents were complaining, then they should have contacted the parents to discuss the situation.

Original poster
BoboChic · 16/03/2017 11:34

This isn't a situation where a DC did not have a typical family set up or was in any way likely to be excluded from education.

OP posts:
SundaysFundays · 16/03/2017 11:35

This is nothing to do with the school. If other students want to go to their friends rented house and get drunk etc, that's is between them and their parents. NOTHING to do with the school.

Annesmyth123 · 16/03/2017 11:35

You've been so cryptic I don't get the point? I cant understand I mean

BillyButtfuck · 16/03/2017 11:39

Did you son get this girl pregnant and you're looking for someone to blame?

There has to be more to this than just an interested outsider Hmm

titchy · 16/03/2017 11:41

That was ENTIRELY the parents' responsibility, absolutely nothing to do with the school at all. Why would you think the school was even remotely responsible, or should have turned her down?

Notwhatiexpected · 16/03/2017 11:41

It certainly isn't the school's responsibility.

You say she wasn't likely to be excluded from education, but that is exactly what you suggest. Do you think she should have continued to live with her parents? Would that have enabled her to continue at that school or would she have to change?

Why did she live apart? do you know the full story, or just what you heard, what she was prepared to disclose?

WateryTart · 16/03/2017 11:42

She was sixth form and over 16. She could have got married and had her own place, hardly a child.

Schools don't have a duty of care for what goes on outside the school, that's down to the parents. Looking for someone to blame - there they are.

Notwhatiexpected · 16/03/2017 11:43

And if other kids were enticed to her party den, then surely the "blame" lies with their parents...

Annesmyth123 · 16/03/2017 11:44

Plus. Whatever happened happened at uni. She was turning 18 then. Plenty of kids go to uni at 17 (from Scotland for e.g.) and balls up and fail, and come home with their tail between their legs and shake themselves off and try again. That failing at uni is not the fault of the school.