Sixth-form girl living alone

[BoboChic]

Do you think that a private mixed sixth form should admit a new pupil who will be living alone in a small rented apartment during the week, returning home to her parents at the weekend?

If you think about it, if the girl had chosen an apprenticeship then you wouldn't expect the employer to not take her on if she lived alone would you?

16/17 is a difficult age, on the cusp of being an adult, but not quite.

Responsible parents should be looking out for their child and help them make the right decisions, stepping in if needed. You've not given much information, but it sounds like the parents weren't paying close enough attention to what was going on.

Otherwise, every kid that ever failed at uni would blame their school.

Was it the tech's fault that my DS went to uni and ballsed around and drank and failed his Christmas exams and had to do re-sits ? Or was it his fault for being a lazy party animal? Or was it my fault for letting him go off to a shared house?

My 17 year old DD lives away from home ( for work not study) and neither the people she works for or us, her parents contemplated that it was a good idea for her to live alone.

I mean I guess no one could have stopped her if that was her choice, but everyone involved was very clear that they would rather she live with a family while she is under 18.

*Did you son get this girl pregnant and you're looking for someone to blame?

There has to be more to this than just an interested outsider hmm*

I suspect this is pretty close to the mark. Either that or one of the other kids partying at the girls flat. waits for the next drip feed

Dsis moved 200 miles in the summer between L6 and U6 which meant that she had to completely start her A levels again. Totally fucked up her education and she dropped out.

An arrangement like that could have made a huge difference to her ability to complete her studies. But no doubt she would have taken full advantage of unsupervised drinking and sex

I lived alone from 16 - kicked out of home, and went through 6th form college and university. It depends on how responsible the young person is, but don't see that it is school's responsibility, the buck stops with her parents.

Lots of people near me move out at that age, meet partners and have kids by 20. When I worked in a nursing home weekends at 17 I was in school but most of the others were living with boyfriends. It seems quite a common age to be with a partner in this area....

However coming from a closeted family/private school I'd imagine a girl not well equipped to live alone at that age in the way people around here seem to be.

How would the school have known about the girl's domestic arrangements? Are you suggesting that they'd actually taken on a loco parentis relationship with the girl? I very much doubt it.
Completely the parent's responsibility.

Depends on the individual. I know someone who lived in a bed sit at a similar age and took themselves to school. She did really well, was motivated and got really high grades. People are all different.

So what I understand is, parents and child made a decision, you are not privy to the details of why, for her to live apart for her sixth year.

This didn't go perfectly, she muffed up her first year at uni. Who knows what will happen next, maybe she will return with new found maturity and dedication and find the cure for cancer.

I guess you can look at their decision and make a different one for your own children, based on different kids, circumstances, hindsight etc. And feel confident that you are doing it "right".

I moved out on my 16th birthday and attended college for the next two years. This was in 2002. It never crossed my mind that it would be a problem. Perfectly legal. I don't think I even had to provide my parent's details as emergency contacts to the college.

NotwhatIexpected - things didn't go better for the girl (and probably went worse) than if she had stayed living with her parents and attending her normal state school.

Several DC at the private school partied etc at this girl's flat. Average results in the year group blipped.

Many VI form students live alone. If they have been in care they are often on their own in a flat at 16.

That's 16 with no trips home to parents at the weekend, no relative on the end of the phone etc.

Bobo. Not to be rude, but why do you care?

And this can also be laid at the school's door??

You can't blame the other students partying at her flat on her, that's surely the parents/ schools call? Did your child not do well in their A levels and you're blaming her?

Drip drip drip 💧

I don't care, I think it's interesting to explore where responsibility lies.

Ahhhh, the dreaded state school girl leading the others astray, well I suppose that clears it up, of course she should have stayed where she was, stuck to her own kind. (Eye roll)

FWIW, my kids (privately educated) are going to kept close to me for as long as I can hold them, some nasty folk out there.

Is there a sarcasm font?

You have no idea how she would have done if she hadn't moved. That's just a load of coulda shoulda woulda

If you don't care then tell us how you know about this girl? Who was in 6th form with her? You? You're child?

(By nasty I mean the OP, or at least what I think she is saying)

No red flags to me. Yes it may have gone bad but I'd like to point out that I lived alone during sixth form as my family broke down, I actually completed five A levels while working to afford my rent (I did get help with some Benefits) . This thread is extremely judgemental to be honest op.