The Dating Thread 60 - Summer Fling!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

@MsJinks @Ilovelurchers I agree standard advice is you won't turn a profit in the first year or two and people with a work ethic (like MissJinks) will have a job while they set it up.

Not wanting to be negative but I think new business failure rate is high ish.

Though as I've just demonstrated I know very little!

@BellaBlackberry83 @Betsy95 @bluelightwonder @BoxOfCats @Brightbluesomething @Chocolatefreak @Clarabella77 @CleanShirt @coolpattern @Dancemom1 @dollyblue01 @DreamyPlumUser @ElleintheWoods @empirebiscuits12 @Ilovelurchers @LenaFromTheNineties @Mildred007 @MrFlintstone @MsJinks @NervesOfCotton @OctopusSting @OneShyQuail @PinkNeonSign @Polly1979 @PotatoFruit @Puddleduck2013 @secon @SortingItOut @TheThingOnTheIce @UmberSheep @Whocares72 @Wynter25

We're on p38 so come on over 😘

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5556328-the-dating-thread-61-high-summer-high-jinks?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Why do you see it as putting on him? Its his history not yours, if you are a team, you solve things together 🤷‍♀️ his burden is your burden and visa versa

Really hope your DC is ok xx

On the reverse if one of my ex’s messaged a current partner of mine and they didn’t tell me I’d be really annoyed and confused

I will tell him when i get chance to

I am going to tell him.

100%
I honestly dont know why ppl keep secrets in relationships

I wont be keeping it a secret from him.

Warning: sexual content:
Hi all, sorry for the silence have had family stuff to deal with that has been exhausting. Update on Mr Soughdough though, and I don't know how I've kept this in for so long... it's been nearly six months since we met and it's been great but he dropped the bombshell while we were away for a weekend in a nice hotel that he used to be into S&M. It turns out that actually a lot of his relationships have had S&M sex in them, and that he thinks "a few months in" is a good time to bring this up. I am not into this at all (no judgement to anyone who is, it's just not for me). He started saying he got the idea he thought I was - I doubt that is accurate, and then backtracked and said that actually the last couple of times he's not enjoyed it as it went too far with other women wanting stuff he's not into, and he's not sure he wants to repeat that again. I have fallen for this man, and he is gushing over how much he loves our sex life, and says it doesn't matter if I'm not into it. My experience of the few (count on one hand) men I have met who are into it ,and say this is that they get bored real fast when you can't rock their boat in the way they want. I do not know what to do. The rest of our relationship has been amazing. He's present, attentive, kind, loving, funny has introduced me to his friends. Help!

Lovely to hear from you, I was actually thinking about you just the other day. But sorry to hear you’ve had challenges in the family.

There was actually a thread about something very similar on here a few months ago, where a partner had dropped this very bombshell a few months on. The overwhelming advice was just as you suspect yourself….that the man may eventually get bored and either keep pushing the boundaries or seek this elsewhere.

I know everyone is different and NAMALT but I would agree with the above. But only you can decide. I’m really gutted for you though because I know how much this man means to you

Oof this is a really tricky one and I think it’s unfair he’s landed it on you at six months in. But if you are happy in the relationship and he is saying he is and then isn’t trying to get you to cross any boundaries you don’t want to, then I would give it the benefit of the doubt.

@rubberduck68 hey it’s nice to hear from you I was thinking about you and mr sourdough. It was 6 months in when I found the nipple clamp on my ex’s floor. At least mr sourdough had the decency to talk to you about it . I wouldn’t let this affect what you have with him.

There is a new thread now https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5556328-the-dating-thread-61-high-summer-high-jinks?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share