Page 2 | Husband took ring off during lads holiday

GreatUserName · 21/06/2026 06:59

It this was my “D” H , he could keep that ring off!

I’m sorry OP, you deserve better than this. Please look after yourself and your little ones 💐

Shoola · 21/06/2026 07:11

Anewregime · 21/06/2026 06:51

I can just imagine this group of men including your husband on a lads holiday at butlins.

and it’s put me off my coffee

drunk, lairy, lecherous, topless, probably all reform voters. Gross.

I wouldn’t be worried about a ring issue in your shoes OP. I’d be worried I was married to a man who goes on a lads holiday to butlins

So if OPs husband was with a group of Lib Dem voters and was trying to have sex with random women at a country house hotel, then all would be fine and dandy.

TheTealHiker · 21/06/2026 07:21

Twiglets1 · 21/06/2026 06:36

This would be a dealbreaker for me.

He took his wedding ring off so he could pretend to be single.

With a pregnant wife! That's unforgivable.

What is wrong with some guys nowadays?

There's another post on another thread about a "D"H who was telling all his mates intimate details about his married sex life.

Haven't they got any idea what responsibilities come with being a husband? Or are "love, honour and cherish" just empty words ?
Don't they have any self-control, standards or boundaries?

Or do they get married just to have easy sex and a free housekeeper?

I despair, I really do.😟

MummyJ36 · 21/06/2026 07:22

it wasn’t the weekend just gone was it? I was on a Butlins weekender with some friends and we witnessed a bloke snogging a girl on the dance floor and his mates all coming to try and stop them. I’m being totally serious. I’m not saying it’s your bloke OP but I think that sort of stuff goes on there and the fact that he’s admitted to “wanting attention” and inviting girls back to the apartment speaks volumes.

CaptianMunchen · 21/06/2026 07:23

Blueberrybonanza · 21/06/2026 06:54

I always thought the Butlins big weekenders were quite innocent retro stuff until I spoke to someone I work with who went to loads.
She described them as a face to face tinder, wild parties in the chalets, drugs and in her own words ‘you are 100% guaranteed a shag even if your pug ugly’
and there was me thinking it was all 80s neon and glowsticks

Hard agree. Partners who won't let their other half go to Prague on a Hen/stag but think the Butlins stag is a safer bet are very misguided. My wife saw something I don't think she could quite believe within about an hour of being there. Butlins is a no for me, but she's fine with Eastern Europe lol

Supersleepysheepy · 21/06/2026 07:26

He 'wanted some attention? Gosh op, I don't expect you realised you'd married a 5 year old. Some men are so rubbish and sadly you've got one of them. Apparently he thinks his marriage is optional so I'd be tempted to take away that option for him.

Pinkchickenwine · 21/06/2026 07:26

CaptianMunchen · 21/06/2026 07:23

Hard agree. Partners who won't let their other half go to Prague on a Hen/stag but think the Butlins stag is a safer bet are very misguided. My wife saw something I don't think she could quite believe within about an hour of being there. Butlins is a no for me, but she's fine with Eastern Europe lol

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How ridiculous ! You can either be trusted or not! Butlins or Europe it makes no difference.

Your wife deciding where you are allowed to go based on her view of the place is not reasonable. Why doesn’t she trust you?

icannotlivelaughloveintheseconditions · 21/06/2026 07:28

You only have his word he didn’t cheat and given that he went away and made a deliberate choice because he wanted women to see him as single I’m not sure his word is worth much.
At least make sure he gets a std check before you have sex again.
its hard to say what you should do, should you walk away on the basis that he wants attention from other women and not from you? It’s absolutely valid reason to walk away. I think some of the decision has to be based on what your marriage is like generally.
Whether you stay or go he needs to know categorically that behaviour like that is unacceptable and that he needs to step up considerably to stay a part of your family

usererror99 · 21/06/2026 07:37

Why does a married man with a baby on the way feel the need to go to Butlins???. Let’s be honest we all know what goes on in that cesspit and no self respecting man in a relationship would even consider on going. Even if he didn’t do anything this time he needs to grow up and stop going on the future trips

PJ98 · 21/06/2026 07:38

He's showing and telling you who he is, but you're not listening.

daisychain01 · 21/06/2026 07:38

He sounds like an incredibly immature 18 year old idiot, not a married man with children.

Anyway, I confronted him and he’s admitting to intentionally taking it off but that’s he so so sorry, doesn’t know what he was thinking, would never cheat but just wanted some attention. This is the same man I’ve been begging for attention off for years.

He's only sorry because you caught him out. You shouldn't have to beg anyone for attention not least the man you've married.

CaptianMunchen · 21/06/2026 07:40

@Pinkchickenwine

She's not controlling, and I pretty much go anywhere I want, as does she; she also does trust me 100%. I just think the PP description of the Butlins adult weekenders is pretty spot on. The fact that she wouldn't go back was enough. I can live with that

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 21/06/2026 07:41

He took his ring off to appear single to attract women while his pregnant wife is at home. He went missing so his friend were calling him (he didn’t answer so was “busy”) and told someone else he couldn’t put in writing what had happened but it “got weird”. One time he told v you he was out until 4pm a night but on the night in question in bed sick at midnight. Sorry - but he cheated on you. I couldn’t come back from this.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 21/06/2026 07:44

Newbie94 · 21/06/2026 02:22

Thank you all, it’s infuriating I won’t know for certain what happened but the ring off alone… utter devastation. Surely no happily married man would be doing that - to his pregnant wife no less.
yes, the messages are suspiciously lacking between the boys that weekend - lots of calls. In fact when one friend asks how the weekend was after he explicitly says he “can’t put it in writing, but things got wierd”. He said he just meant the after parties (he admits others brought girls back and that there were drugs too).
I see a few of his friends were calling him the Saturday night about midnight to see where he went… he told me it’s because he was sick and went to bed early, but then on a seperate time (before) said that there wasn’t a night he didn’t sleep before 4am.
honestly reading it back what I’ve written, I just feel so stupid.

Well he either fucked someone else or was actively trying to.

Realistically
he told me it’s because he was sick and went to bed early, but then on a seperate time (before) said that there wasn’t a night he didn’t sleep before 4am
Its much more likely he snagged someone.

And doing it while you were at your most vulnerable (heabily pregnant and looking after a young child.

He has very clearly shown you who he is and what he thinks of your marriage.

Theres zero point discussing anything at this stage.
Have your baby do what you need to, and do not feel guilty for going out with yur friends to the gym ... whatever. When you are ready start quietly making plans to leave/ have him leave.

TheThingOnTheIce · 21/06/2026 07:46

Have you checked his recently deleted messages op ? He probably hasn’t thought to empty that

Gowlett · 21/06/2026 07:48

PJ98 · 21/06/2026 07:38

He's showing and telling you who he is, but you're not listening.

She is. She’s asking for advice what to do.

It’s a shock, OP is about to have a baby…

SharingMyOpinion · 21/06/2026 07:49

You know this isn’t normal behaviour. He is hiding something. At the very least he is deceitful, at the most he’s cheated on you.

I am so sorry he has chosen to do this when you are most vulnerable.

In my opinion the story about going back to bed and where are you is total lies. It just smells like a cover up.

Gowlett · 21/06/2026 07:50

I was on holiday in Ibiza in my 20s, lots of wild nights. Met a guy. Bit older than me, away with the “lads”. Had a good time. It was only when we got home & he kept in contact, that I found out he was married. No ring. Still regret it now.

WizdomE · 21/06/2026 07:51

he did it to get some action. A very clean phone would indicate he got some.

however as painful as it is, as a man he probably just viewed it as holiday ‘fun’ like an unauthorised ‘hall pass’

be careful not to over react.

OchreRaven · 21/06/2026 07:56

If you want to get to the truth try this. Sit him down and say ‘DH taking off your ring to get attention is already a betrayal to me and is going to have me second guessing who you really are and what you have done. I am going to give you one chance to be honest with me so we can work out how to move forward and if this is something we can come back from. Ultimately that’s what I want but I can’t do that without knowing everything. This is just going to fester. But I am going to give you an hour to think about this because after this one chance to come clean, there will be no more chances. Everything I find out after this point will be non-negotiable because more than the betrayal itself, it will be the lack of trust that we can’t come back from. I need to know you will be honest when it counts or I can’t be with you. If you decide not to be honest then you better hope that none of your friends have told their wives about what has gone on because these things always have a way of coming out.’

Essentially he needs to believe that you finding out later will be way worse and if there is chance that you could find out he may tell you to avoid a bigger fallout.

So sorry you have to deal with this. But I would always rather know and make an informed decision on whether I want to forgive.

Mischance · 21/06/2026 07:58

I am so sorry this has happened.

I suppose though it is not unexpected ... what do these men go on this sort of seedy weekend for if it is not to get drunk/drugged up/laid?

TheTealHiker · 21/06/2026 07:58

OchreRaven · 21/06/2026 07:56

If you want to get to the truth try this. Sit him down and say ‘DH taking off your ring to get attention is already a betrayal to me and is going to have me second guessing who you really are and what you have done. I am going to give you one chance to be honest with me so we can work out how to move forward and if this is something we can come back from. Ultimately that’s what I want but I can’t do that without knowing everything. This is just going to fester. But I am going to give you an hour to think about this because after this one chance to come clean, there will be no more chances. Everything I find out after this point will be non-negotiable because more than the betrayal itself, it will be the lack of trust that we can’t come back from. I need to know you will be honest when it counts or I can’t be with you. If you decide not to be honest then you better hope that none of your friends have told their wives about what has gone on because these things always have a way of coming out.’

Essentially he needs to believe that you finding out later will be way worse and if there is chance that you could find out he may tell you to avoid a bigger fallout.

So sorry you have to deal with this. But I would always rather know and make an informed decision on whether I want to forgive.

Edited

Excellent advice.

Anewregime · 21/06/2026 07:59

Shoola · 21/06/2026 07:11

So if OPs husband was with a group of Lib Dem voters and was trying to have sex with random women at a country house hotel, then all would be fine and dandy.

Show quote history

Yes, because that is precisely what I meant

Sunnydaysforevernow · 21/06/2026 07:59

Why are these ‘men’ called boys or lads. Because they behave like
boys?

Anewregime · 21/06/2026 08:00

attention. This is the same man I’ve been begging for attention off for years.

forget the ring issue. Have some self respect OP