Partner wants me out and I do not feel able to cope alone

[Purplehearts45]

He keeps trying to chuck me out the house he said your gone after I made a mess several times in the bathroom . recently I spoke to some people at a shop they asked if I was okay so I told them a bit about my situation, the girl at the shop said I could talk to her anytime so I said some things about my situation he then said he wanted to talk to me the people at the mushroom shop had told everything we both said to him he said he had enough , he said this is why we have to move on I feel betrayed by the people in the mushroom shop they misquoted what I’d said he was angry.

He also he I was very miserable a while back he said we are selling the house as I came home after a few bears I was a bit tipsy my daughter was being cared for by him . I can’t do anything right I have no friends as they are ignoring me as they are busy my neighbour is in a bad way and wants to be left alone I’ve only got him and my daughter, my mum is too busy to see me very often , she told me to toughen up which wasn’t helpful she told me not to cry over losing my family and the house he says I go on about myself which he calls me a nightmare but I’m struggling I got discharged from mental health services recently they said I’m fine I’m not I’m taking antidepressants my antipsychotic s and benzos I’m only taking about my self as I’m struggling and looking for support I’m feeling scared about losing my family and my home , a social worker has tried to get me a flat by myself but that wouldn’t work I need supported accommodation i really wouldn’t cope living on my own

She's been posting under another username (hippychickbbbb changing the number of bs overtime) since atleast lockdown about this so posters will be mentioning things that shes admitted in previous threads.
The food thing is because she doesn't contribute in anyway including buying food but will eat food bought for her dd and buy herself a new phone and branded trainers, constantly kicks off causing a scene in front of her dd and constantly brings up things from years ago that get more and more twisted with each retelling when people dont react the way she wants.
Honestly this is a very unwell woman who refuses help and is determined not to let her ex or dd move on

OP won't admit she's unwell despite being on anti psychotics, being sectioned preciously, has a history of mental health problems, cannot manage her own medication. He is just adding to this distress allowing her to stay in his house, upsetting their daughter, op refusing help, the social worker and mental health team need to step in and take control of this toxic unstable situation before anyone gets hurt, op has damaged the property, threw a brick, broke a door, they shout and argue all the time. I really hope op gets the help she needs so they can all live in safe peaceful home. A crisis will happen again.

This is such a mess.

I agree. While we can all give advice if you’ve ever dealt with someone that poorly whose brain is stuck in a loop it’s almost impossible.
You can say ‘engage with services’ because they have no concept of rational thought.
I don’t doubt it’s awful for her loved ones because living in it is horrendous.
As stretched as this man is he hasn’t actually thrown the OP out although it’s clear she needs to leave.
And to everyone saying she can move into a flat and function have you ever seen the home of someone in this state? I have and it’s bloody awful.
It is clear that our services cannot cope and so families are left in this mess.
OP I’m not sure she knows how MN works - she’s mentioned friends by name in previous posts and the mushroom shop repeatedly in this thread. Her mum clearly can’t cope with her right now, and it seems she spends hours on the phone to Samaritans who are great in a crisis but aren’t going to be able to do more than listen.

Maybe another crisis will lead to another hospital admission and social services and the mental health team are forced to act and find suitable accommodation, neither op or her ex sound at all responsible if op past threads are true. If they are true then that poor child.

I feel sorry for the daughter, the environment must be horrendous for her.

They offered suitable accommodation, op turned it down, they can’t force her to move into somewhere she doesn’t want

Not even if a child is at risk? Or that the environment is unsafe for both people?

How many times do people need to say it? How you cope is Not. His. Problem.

He does not want to be with you and that is his right. You need to leave. Otherwise, what will you do when the house is sold? You won't be able to go with him and police can physically remove you if you try. Same with staying. You'll be physically removed. If you can't cope alone you need to contact the emergency mental health team, not force your company on your ex.

Stop saying he doesn’t want to be with me I already know and I can’t just leave I have nowhere to go you are just upsetting me

I thought your social worker was helping you find somewhere?

Then you need to find somewhere.

What are you doing each day to find somewhere? What did you do today to find somewhere?

But you seem to be clinging to hope that you have some given right to stay, despite his decision. Ask your sw/mh support worker to help you find somewhere else. You are exacerbating your mh issues by refusing to move and set up a new life. Your ex may be part of the problem and this situation is distracting your attention from recovery.

Then start looking with your social worker, stop making excuses and take a step towards helping yourself, you are just delaying moving out and that's no good for any of you.

You are upsetting your ex who wants you out and has wanted you out for years. I'm sure the situation is upsetting your preteen child. You need to leave.

You're upsetting him, you need to leave.

So pull yourself together and find somewhere to go! Do you work?! Or just leech off the state as well as your ex?? Your poor daughter caught up in this, can’t you put her first?!!!

Oh come on. I get this is frustrating but does OP really sound well enough to be working? I think your comment is poor taste tbh.

He’s not your carer contact social services and get some help finding emergency accommodation.
you do need help and support but he is neither qualified or willing
youl be so much happier once you take the leap I know it’s scary but you’re an adult and with help you will do it ❤️

It is clear this thread is not helping the OP. She’s clearly very unwell and upset.

Agree. But none of her threads have, over many years, because she simply won't engage with the multiple agencies in real life who have tried to help her.

@Purplehearts45 what are you doing so you can leave? Have you contacted your social worker or MH team recently?

I don't know if posting helps op or not, or why op rarely responds and refuses any help or suggestions, could be mental health issues, personality, manipulation, but it's been going on a long time which must be difficult for everyone to deal with.

And this living situation is upsetting him and damaging your daughter.

I'm sorry you're upset, but this is the reality. You have to leave as the relationship is over and the house is being sold. If you engage with your social worker now and accept the offered flat, you will avoid being made street homeless when the sale goes through.

He could refuse to have op back in his house if she is hospitalised again, she would then be very vulnerable and rehoused, at some point op will have no choice and will have to leave, this digging in qnd redusing sw help just prolongs the inevitable and I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.