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Partner wants me out and I do not feel able to cope alone

250 replies

Purplehearts45 · 05/06/2026 13:33

He keeps trying to chuck me out the house he said your gone after I made a mess several times in the bathroom . recently I spoke to some people at a shop they asked if I was okay so I told them a bit about my situation, the girl at the shop said I could talk to her anytime so I said some things about my situation he then said he wanted to talk to me the people at the mushroom shop had told everything we both said to him he said he had enough , he said this is why we have to move on I feel betrayed by the people in the mushroom shop they misquoted what I’d said he was angry.

He also he I was very miserable a while back he said we are selling the house as I came home after a few bears I was a bit tipsy my daughter was being cared for by him . I can’t do anything right I have no friends as they are ignoring me as they are busy my neighbour is in a bad way and wants to be left alone I’ve only got him and my daughter, my mum is too busy to see me very often , she told me to toughen up which wasn’t helpful she told me not to cry over losing my family and the house he says I go on about myself which he calls me a nightmare but I’m struggling I got discharged from mental health services recently they said I’m fine I’m not I’m taking antidepressants my antipsychotic s and benzos I’m only taking about my self as I’m struggling and looking for support I’m feeling scared about losing my family and my home , a social worker has tried to get me a flat by myself but that wouldn’t work I need supported accommodation i really wouldn’t cope living on my own

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 07/06/2026 10:04

Purplehearts45 · 07/06/2026 09:47

I couldn’t help it I cleaned it up for fucks sake I’m not expecting him to care for me

But if you don't expect him to care for you then you can leave and live on your own in the flat the social worker found for you, why are you staying in a house that is so unhappy.

PinkFrogss · 07/06/2026 10:06

Think of your DD having to constantly witness all this.

Are you not willing to move into a 1 bed flat for her sake?

It seems you want to punish your ex by staying and forcing him to care for you, but in doing so you are punishing and hurting your DD.

Please engage with services OP, if not for your own sake then for hers.

Jellox · 07/06/2026 10:18

OP can your social worker not help you get a place of your own?

You cannot live with him any more.

If you refuse to leave then he may have no choice but to get the police involved and cause you more stress. You don’t want your DD seeing that.

Speak to your social worker today and ask if she can help you contact the council and get some different accommodation.

Leave your DD where she is.
And focus on doing your new place up, so that she can eventually come and visit.

You are risking having DD taken away from you if you do not get proper help and actually listen.

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 07/06/2026 10:59

MissMoneyFairy · 07/06/2026 10:04

But if you don't expect him to care for you then you can leave and live on your own in the flat the social worker found for you, why are you staying in a house that is so unhappy.

This, why can’t you cope on your own then if you don’t want him to care for you?

PinkFrogss · 07/06/2026 11:03

Jellox · 07/06/2026 10:18

OP can your social worker not help you get a place of your own?

You cannot live with him any more.

If you refuse to leave then he may have no choice but to get the police involved and cause you more stress. You don’t want your DD seeing that.

Speak to your social worker today and ask if she can help you contact the council and get some different accommodation.

Leave your DD where she is.
And focus on doing your new place up, so that she can eventually come and visit.

You are risking having DD taken away from you if you do not get proper help and actually listen.

OP’s social worker helped them find a 1 bed flat but she turned it down to remain living with her ex.

Its a terrible situation for all 3 of them and OP is the only one who can do something about it, but unfortunately refuses to engage with the help she desperately needs.

LittleGreenDragons · 07/06/2026 11:11

Purplehearts45 · 07/06/2026 09:47

I couldn’t help it I cleaned it up for fucks sake I’m not expecting him to care for me

I’m not expecting him to care for me
So why do you stay? You've admitted previously you can't look after your DD and your ex has sole custody but that doesn't mean you can't see her if you live elsewhere, so what is stopping you?

Keroppi · 07/06/2026 11:14

Move out it sounds chaotic

Jellox · 07/06/2026 11:34

PinkFrogss · 07/06/2026 11:03

OP’s social worker helped them find a 1 bed flat but she turned it down to remain living with her ex.

Its a terrible situation for all 3 of them and OP is the only one who can do something about it, but unfortunately refuses to engage with the help she desperately needs.

That’s so frustrating!!

OP is only making things worse for herself and it’s a shame she can’t see that.

howshouldibehave · 07/06/2026 12:15

Purplehearts45 · 07/06/2026 09:47

I couldn’t help it I cleaned it up for fucks sake I’m not expecting him to care for me

Cleaning it up is different to trying to clean it up.

If you’d actually cleaned it up, he wouldn’t know it had happened.

You are expecting him to care for you and he doesn’t want to. You need to leave asap.

Random321 · 07/06/2026 13:04

You need to take your perscribed medication and no other drugs or alcohol.

You need to contact your social worker, GP and mental health crisis team.

You say you can't cope leaving alone but you don't seem to be coping as you are either.

Take the support of those who can help you. Perhsps you need to return to the mental health hospital and habe a phased and supported move to your new accommodation.

MissMoneyFairy · 07/06/2026 13:09

Thus is great advice but I'm not sure op can or will listen, it's very chaotic and we get no clear answers to any of our questions

PetulaGordeno · 07/06/2026 13:36

MissMoneyFairy · 07/06/2026 13:09

Thus is great advice but I'm not sure op can or will listen, it's very chaotic and we get no clear answers to any of our questions

I just feel for her, life for her sounds horrific. It seems she had no friends and no support in real life.
It must be awful for her and upsetting for others who clearly can’t cope.

StillNotDoingIt · 07/06/2026 13:42

Purplehearts45 · 06/06/2026 16:50

I’m not wallowing in self pity I don’t ask him to look after me and she didn’t see have explosive toilet issues I cleaned it up your post is harsh for someone who is in a horrible situation

But why did you shit on the floor in the first place?

You’re not going to get much useful help if you can’t explain what is going on.

And please, what on Earth is the mushroom shop and why do you keep mentioning it?

Balloonhearts · 07/06/2026 14:54

It doesn't matter if the reasons he gave you are unfair. He doesn't want to be with you, that's enough reason. You not being able to cope alone is not his problem. He is not responsible for your wellbeing. You need to leave and stop inflicting this shit on your poor child.

drunkelephant83 · 07/06/2026 15:22

Do you take mushrooms on top of all of your other medication? Surely you don’t do those around your child. What country are you in?

Hallywally · 07/06/2026 16:53

OP you have been posting about this for years & have been given lots of advice but things never seem to change.

FayeMumsnet · 07/06/2026 17:12

Hi there.

We'd like to thank everyone who showed such kindness and concern for the OP, as it really does make a difference. If anyone has been affected by anything in this thread, our mental health resources are here.

Best wishes.
MNHQ.
💐

Hoardasurass · 08/06/2026 08:47

PetulaGordeno · 07/06/2026 13:36

I just feel for her, life for her sounds horrific. It seems she had no friends and no support in real life.
It must be awful for her and upsetting for others who clearly can’t cope.

I felt the same 5 years ago when this poster started posting about all of this, but over the years as the op kept posting the same things again and again ignoring all advice I've sadly come to understand how she pushed everyone away from her and realised that often these threads cause more harm than good. I still hold out hope that one day she will accept the real life help and support offered to her but I fear shes like an addict who has to hit rock bottom and lose everything before she does

VivaciousCurrentBun · 08/06/2026 09:04

@PetulaGordeno I have met through voluntary work a few people who end up like the op. They have serious MH issues and turn to substances to numb the pain. But their behaviour however tragic the circumstances means people just can’t deal with them anymore. A friend and I still wonder about a nice but really unwell woman who lost all her children due to her issues that we met. She had just had another baby and was trying to keep the baby.

The awful thing here is the risk of the DD becoming mentally ill due to being exposed to all this. It’s generational trauma in the making,

OP you need to leave the house for the sake of your child and engage fully with services and go to a substance misuse service.

Purplehearts45 · 08/06/2026 12:20

I’m not using magic mushrooms u silly people they just sell mushrooms

OP posts:
PurpleLovecats · 08/06/2026 12:23

Purplehearts45 · 08/06/2026 12:20

I’m not using magic mushrooms u silly people they just sell mushrooms

Well that’s good.

Can you contact your support worker/social worker today and get the ball rolling on finding accommodation?

Time to move on x

Purplehearts45 · 08/06/2026 12:26

He’s intolerant of me it’s not me

OP posts:
Purplehearts45 · 08/06/2026 12:28

I’ve lived with him for 20 years

OP posts:
PurpleLovecats · 08/06/2026 12:36

Purplehearts45 · 08/06/2026 12:28

I’ve lived with him for 20 years

But it’s not working. You need to move out. Everybody keeps telling you this.

MissMoneyFairy · 08/06/2026 12:44

Purplehearts45 · 08/06/2026 12:26

He’s intolerant of me it’s not me

Maybe it's your behaviour he's finding difficult, he's intolerant,you argue all the time, he shouts, you are not happy so why are youmstill living together.

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